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Old 05-20-2009, 09:41 AM
 
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I like to read the Date Lab article in the Sunday Washington Post Magazine. This is a regular article where they set up two compatible sounding singles on a blind date, pay for their expenses, and then have each person describe the experience.

Here is a link from last weeks article:

Date Lab - washingtonpost.com

In most cases the participants have a pleasant enough time meeting and carry on a civil conversation but there is no sparks. Not once have the Date Lab participants ever become a loving couple.

I think it is similar to the situation facing most people when they date. Pleasant enough conversation and exchange of ideas but just no chemistry. It is just so hard to find that chemistry and connection now days. It could take years. But then people like my brother in law have been married five times. So finding love, even if it does not last, must be possible.
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Old 05-20-2009, 10:33 AM
 
59,231 posts, read 46,318,728 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
I like to read the Date Lab article in the Sunday Washington Post Magazine. This is a regular article where they set up two compatible sounding singles on a blind date, pay for their expenses, and then have each person describe the experience.

Here is a link from last weeks article:

Date Lab - washingtonpost.com

In most cases the participants have a pleasant enough time meeting and carry on a civil conversation but there is no sparks. Not once have the Date Lab participants ever become a loving couple.

I think it is similar to the situation facing most people when they date. Pleasant enough conversation and exchange of ideas but just no chemistry. It is just so hard to find that chemistry and connection now days. It could take years. But then people like my brother in law have been married five times. So finding love, even if it does not last, must be possible.
I think sometimes people are just in too big of a hurry. They go into the date looking for things to reject the other person instead of getting to know them.

Yep, her butt is a little big or I don't like the laugh or he is 2 inches shorter than they prefer and drives a truck instead of a sedan blah blah blah.

What ever happened to getting to know someone?

Plus, it's public so it's pretty artificial. I know that I had one HOT first date last year that would have been far less "sparky" if I'd had to report on it. (no it didn't end up in bed).
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Old 05-20-2009, 11:11 AM
 
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That kind of failure rate just tells me the people doing the setups need to reevaluate their methods.
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Old 05-20-2009, 11:57 AM
 
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Yes. They need to pair people that have things in common. Then prepare each person for the blind date with a one hour class on dating or some online course. Blind dates can be very nerve wracking and awkward. So each person is not really him or herself.




Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
That kind of failure rate just tells me the people doing the setups need to reevaluate their methods.
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Old 05-20-2009, 01:30 PM
 
4,837 posts, read 8,151,143 times
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Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Yes. They need to pair people that have things in common. Then prepare each person for the blind date with a one hour class on dating or some online course. Blind dates can be very nerve wracking and awkward. So each person is not really him or herself.
I would be a nervous wreck if my "date" were about to write up her experiences in the local newspaper. If they are not that "into you", they magnify even the slightest mistakes and could make you look foolish. It could be years living this down.

IMHO, the reason that most matchmaking doesn't work is that in many, if not most cases, they are trying to connect up a woman, who the matchmaker believes, "needs a good man" (often from vague comments over coffee at work, school etc.) with guys who aren't too committed to the institution and are therefore single.

Little goes into matching compatability and a lot into availability and finding a guy who is potentially a "good provider", since they are afraid of setting their female friend with a "dud". Since this is an attribute that women don't want to consider up front, things are doomed from the start.

Matchmaking and blind dates may have worked in the pre TV days but nobody needs a relationship leading to marriage anymore. They must want it.
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Old 05-20-2009, 03:00 PM
 
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I don't necessarily consider the dates failures. I don't think a lot of people are going into this hoping to find someone to start a relationship. It seems to me that most of the people who sign up for this are looking for a fun night out, someone new to meet and talk to, and as a bonus maybe someone to go out with in the future.

I would be willing to guess that most first dates have a pretty high failure rate if you are basing it on how many first dates actually lead to a relationship.

Having read Date Lab religiously since it started, I would say they are pretty successful most of the time since both people seem to have fun.
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Old 05-20-2009, 03:12 PM
 
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Can't test the chemistry. Enough said.
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Old 05-20-2009, 06:39 PM
 
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Well maybe because that guy is a total jerk. If they're all like that, no wonder there are issues...
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Old 05-20-2009, 07:59 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 82,080,190 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
I like to read the Date Lab article in the Sunday Washington Post Magazine. This is a regular article where they set up two compatible sounding singles on a blind date, pay for their expenses, and then have each person describe the experience.
Very interesting! Reminds me of a show I used to like watching in the past - Singled Out; the host was Jenny McCarthy. There were these bubbles showing what people actually think on the date.

About this particular case: just looking at the picture I was pretty sure the guy isn't gonna go for her. However, there are things she did that stand out:

I wanted a glass of wine, but maybe Bryan didn't drink. I didn't want to be judged, so I settled with water. - altering yourself already for a stranger?!

I asked for his card. - insecurity/hunting

I took his arm, actually. - insecurity/hunting

he actually rode with me all the way to Metro Center, [three stops] out of his way - big effing deal! low self-esteem
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Old 05-20-2009, 09:50 PM
 
30,449 posts, read 36,848,788 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
I like to read the Date Lab article in the Sunday Washington Post Magazine. This is a regular article where they set up two compatible sounding singles on a blind date, pay for their expenses, and then have each person describe the experience.
How did they figure that these two sounded compatible? I'd never have matched them based on what their preferences were. Big surprise that it bombed.
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