Keeping/not keeping maiden name after marriage (girls, ugly, friend)

[TheImportersWife]

Originally Posted by netwit

I kept my maiden name and can't think of a single reason why anyone wouldn't keep their name. It is part of my identity and if a man had a problem with that, I'd assume he was "just not that into"me and didn't understand the slightest thing about me.

When receiving an invite or social mailing, how do you prefer it to be addressed?

Mr. Smith & Ms. Jones?
Mr. & Mrs. Smith?



As for why someone would take their husband's name...you don't see the unity in having the same name from a social standpoint?

[netwit]

Originally Posted by TheImportersWife

When receiving an invite or social mailing, how do you prefer it to be addressed?

Mr. Smith & Ms. Jones?
Mr. & Mrs. Smith?



As for why someone would take their husband's name...you don't see the unity in having the same name from a social standpoint?

We get invitations that include both our names, and we also get invitations that hyphenate our names, and invitations in which I am addressed by my husband's name in the standard "Mrs." form. I make no big deal out of any of it but my name is my maiden name, and who I've been all my life. Using my husband's name feels to me like I'm wearing something that isn't mine. It's just not me.

In Quebec, marriage is not a valid reason for a name change. Wikipedia is of course, not error proof, but nevertheless there is a good article on maiden names to be found there. Married and maiden names - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

No, I don't think names express any particular unity in marriage. My husband's first wife, took his name after all....

edited to add that I just saw that you had posted about being unsure as to how to address women who keep their maiden names. Of the women I know, some care a lot about 'accuracy' and strongly prefer to be addressed by their maiden names but I personally am not bothered as to what anyone calls me. I know who they mean. When I think about it, I might be the exception since most of the women I know who have kept their maiden names want to be addressed by their maiden names.

[Snort]

This question came up strongly for arch-feminist Myra Lipschitz.

[pvande55]

When I was serving as an Election Judge, a woman came in who still had her voter registration under her name from a previous marriage. She did end up voting after providing proper documentation.

[boodhabunny]

I've been married for a few years now and I still haven't legally changed my name. It's a hassle! Plus, I have a solid professional reputation using my maiden name so there would need to be a massive campaign to update all of my professional connections.

But I really want to and plan to change my name. Our children are grown so it has nothing to do with that. For me, it's a symbolic expression of our unity. I want us to be Mr. an Mrs. His Last Name. I am romantic that way.

I don't know if my husband cares one way or another. He has left the decision up to me. I secretly expect that he'll feel honored and happy about it though.

[fleetiebelle]

Could you be Ms. Maidenname at work and Mrs. Hislastname legally and at home?

[boodhabunny]

fleetiebelle - that is how I currently handle it. But the line between the two categories is not always clearly defined and therein lies the problem. For example, sometimes when I am at a social function, and I introduce myself to someone who may be a potential business client, I stumble over my name while I am trying to decide who I am. It's kind of embarrassing!

[Cherie Tebo]

I took my late husbands name when I married him out of resepct and will continue to use it.

[alphaluce]

When NOT to hyphenate your name...

When NOT To Hyphenate Your Name - Slideshows - Slideshow Viewer - cbs2.com (http://cbs2.com/slideshows/Hyphenate.Names.Combinations.20.687305.html - broken link)

[Bayarea4]

I took my first husband's name even though it sounded ugly with my first name. I didn't care because I was a starry-eyed romantic, and I wanted to feel really married. My new husband had two daughters and an ex-wife who also used his name.

When the marriage ended in divorce, I kept the name for a while. Then my ex casually let it drop that his ex-wife had complained that "there are two many women named __________ around here!" (She was upset because she had received a call from someone who was trying to reach me.)

That did it. I went back to my maiden name as soon as possible. The paperwork was incredibly annoying. What a hassle! When I remarried, I kept my birth name and vowed never to change it again. That was 24 years ago. As a 10th anniversary gift, I offered to change my name to his, but my husband said he is perfectly OK with having different names. We have no children, so that hasn't been an issue.

I have a fantasy that all baby girls would be given their mother's last names and all boys would be named for their fathers. That way, both the wife's and husband's name would be passed on to future generations (providing, of course, that the couple has a daughter and a son). Of course there are a million reasons why this wouldn't work, but it's my fantasy and I like it!