Keeping/not keeping maiden name after marriage (guys, love, husband)

[LaoTzuMindFu]

Originally Posted by totallyfrazzled

Just wondering what the general trend is nowadays....

I told my wife that when we got married she will HAVE to take my name. No if's, and's or but's about it.

I think nowadays, most women change their names to their husbands names. That is, unless youre a black chick in the WNBA. Its like they ALL have hyphenated names. Maybe its a cultural thing with them? Even teachers and professors I had in school almost all had hyphenated last names.

[orangeapple]

I would not keep my maiden name if I got married; it's kind of ugly and I think it shows a united front to have the same name.
I don't plan on getting divorced if I marry, & I can't say what I would do in such a situation (too many unknown variables), so I did not vote.

[totallyfrazzled]

When I got married (in the early 1970s) I wanted to keep my maiden name because my ancestry and family history (traced back to the 1500s) has always been extremely important to me. I just could not talk myself into (or allow myself to be pushed into) abandoning something that is such a deep source of pride to me on a personal level.

I got a huge amount of resistance from my fiance and in particular his family, though. They took it as a personal insult and could not understand or accept the fact that I felt it would be an insult to MY family to "abandon" my family's name merely because of a sexist tradition.

My in-laws stubbornly refused to address greeting cards or introduce me to other people using my maiden name but instead made a point of labeling me with their surname instead. It wasn't the only thing we were at odds about but it was definitely one of the most annoying. They weren't happy when I'd correct the person I was just incorrectly introduced to by saying "Actually my last name is ****; it's very nice to meet you." My in-laws were then put in the embarassing position of having to explain to the other people that No, I was not merely their son's live-in girlfriend, or mistress, but that we were indeed married.

Keeping my maiden name definitely made things easier when we eventually got divorced though .... no trotting around to banks, insurance companies, credit card companies, etc etc etc with copies of the divorce decree!

[Rance]

My wife kept her maiden name. She even asked me if I'd consider taking hers. I didn't...but I don't see anything wrong with her keeping her's and me mine.

[Jane72]

I've been married twice, but always kept my name.
It's mine, and I like it.
I offered each of my husbands the option of taking my last name, but not surprisingly, neither took me up on it.

[Chowhound]

I'm fairly liberal and open minded, I, however would expect my wife to take my name.

I don't why???

Just because.

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by Waynec613

MA to my knowledge is the same as here, short form with a personal reason behind it that doesn't include evasion of some sort, short explanation before a judge. Done.

Really. I talked with some folk about this and was told of all the impossibilities. I'll look into it. Thanks.

As a side note: It's a tradition for family unity, I don't consider it sexist to be more sided towards women changing theirs due to it, but I don't see it as a necessity for my SO change it either. Up to them. Just hope if she decides to she's not had a few during the form fill-out and changes her first name along with it "Supercalfraglisticexpealadoshus" along with the changed surname would be a pain to sign for each check and the like.

LOL!

[Jane72]

Originally Posted by Chowhound

I'm fairly liberal and open minded, I, however would expect my wife to take my name.

I don't why???

Just because.

That's rather presumptuous of you.

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by DaBeez

I told my wife that when we got married she will HAVE to take my name. No if's, and's or but's about it.

I think nowadays, most women change their names to their husbands names. That is, unless youre a black chick in the WNBA. Its like they ALL have hyphenated names. Maybe its a cultural thing with them? Even teachers and professors I had in school almost all had hyphenated last names.

Well, when all of your degrees and publications have one name, it's not convenient to let it go.

[Waynec613]

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

Well, when all of your degrees and publications have one name, it's not convenient to let it go.

Yeah, there are plenty of personal and professional reasons to not do it.

I will admit I tend to view it much like marriage, I could give a damn really, I'm only going to do it because it shows a level of commitment to the other and a further sense of unity in most cases for the woman and the family overall. As such, I consider that gesture much in the same vein, but if she were abjectly against it for whatever reason I don't think it bother me tremendously. You either love someone enough to accept 'em, or ya don't.