Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
View Poll Results: Keeping or Not Keeping maiden name
I kept (or would keep) my maiden name after marrying 38 42.22%
I took/would take my husband's surname, and did (or would) retain it after a divorce 23 25.56%
I did/would take my husband's surname, but did (or would) revert to my maiden name after a divorce 29 32.22%
Voters: 90. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-25-2009, 01:04 AM
 
19,045 posts, read 25,114,058 times
Reputation: 13484

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Waynec613 View Post
Yeah, there are plenty of personal and professional reasons to not do it.
My family fell short of grasping this.

Quote:
I will admit I tend to view it much like marriage, I could give a damn really, I'm only going to do it because it shows a level of commitment to the other and a further sense of unity in most cases for the woman and the family overall. As such, I consider that gesture much in the same vein, but if she were abjectly against it for whatever reason I don't think it bother me tremendously. You either love someone enough to accept 'em, or ya don't.
Excellent. My husband doesn't even like his last name, which is Irish, because he relates to his Dutch side far more. And he loves Italian everything (me included), so my having an Irish last name wouldn't make sense. Now, if he had his way, we'd have a Van-something opposed to a Mcsomething last name in order to be a family of pirates lol. Well, that's what I think of when I hear Van-soandso. But not Van dyke!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-25-2009, 01:05 AM
 
3,674 posts, read 8,626,737 times
Reputation: 3085
I'd keep my name. For me it's just a simple answer. I would never change my name to someone else's. It's an antiquated tradition to declare yourself property.

The other really interesting thing that came up recently was the realization that changing my name to my fiance's would suddenly make me sound extremely... ethnic. He's Brazilian. I'm pure Italian, but my family changed their name as soon as they emigrated from Milan. We're fair-skinned, light-eyed blond people with a seemingly "All American" name. And the first thing that occurred to me was, if I took his name, people would suddenly consider me very differently on paper. Their first impression, should it come through my name, would be slightly different.

I still don't know how I feel about that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2009, 01:12 AM
 
Location: Delaware...Oi
1,293 posts, read 3,182,168 times
Reputation: 547
Quote:
Originally Posted by coldwine View Post
I'd keep my name. For me it's just a simple answer. I would never change my name to someone else's. It's an antiquated tradition to declare yourself property.
In that vein so is marriage, it's original purpose was more of a declaration of the woman's right to the husband's estate and properties should the male die.
*shrug*
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2009, 01:18 AM
 
Location: So Cal
51,848 posts, read 52,255,090 times
Reputation: 52310
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jane72 View Post
That's rather presumptuous of you.
You wouldn't take you husbands name?

BTW you don't even know a thing about me so saying something like that is a little presumptuous yourself.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2009, 01:21 AM
 
1,091 posts, read 3,584,274 times
Reputation: 1044
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
You wouldn't take you husbands name?
No, I've already stated that I would not, and did not.
I have a perfectly good name.

Quote:
BTW you don't even know a thing about me so saying something like that is a little presumptuous yourself.
I know that you stated you expect a woman to give up her name in order to marry you. You offer no explanation for why you think she should.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2009, 01:49 AM
 
Location: So Cal
51,848 posts, read 52,255,090 times
Reputation: 52310
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jane72 View Post
No, I've already stated that I would not, and did not.
I have a perfectly good name.



I know that you stated you expect a woman to give up her name in order to marry you. You offer no explanation for why you think she should.
Jane72 I'm probably one of the nicest and kind guys you'd ever want to meet, honestly. Me saying that about taking my name was just a gut thing. If a woman didn't want to take my name, it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I just feel like sometimes we should follow traditions, not a slam to women just a tradition.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2009, 11:28 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,398,439 times
Reputation: 14692
I took his name but if we divorce, I give it back. My problem would be what to do with my children's names. I think they should have both parents last names not just his in event of a divorce.

20/20 hindsight, I should have hyphenated their names at birth.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2009, 11:32 AM
 
19,045 posts, read 25,114,058 times
Reputation: 13484
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I took his name but if we divorce, I give it back. My problem would be what to do with my children's names. I think they should have both parents last names not just his in event of a divorce.

20/20 hindsight, I should have hyphenated their names at birth.
My dh and I discussed this, but what if everyone did it? Our last names would be quite long! I'm not sure what we're going to do.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2009, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Dunwoody,GA
2,239 posts, read 5,817,006 times
Reputation: 3409
I use my maiden name professionally and my married name legally and socially. Reason? Because I started my business before I got married and it would have been difficult for clients who knew me by that name to find me with a new name.

When I was in grad school (admittedly a fairly liberal environment), there were two professor couples who did the following. Say John Smith marries Jane Jones. They then both hyphenated both names (took each others' names), so you then had John Smith-Jones and Jane Smith-Jones. Interesting choice, I thought!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2009, 12:04 PM
 
Location: somewhere south of Canada
2,163 posts, read 4,329,249 times
Reputation: 2581
I would change my name in a heartbeat. I can't stand my last name; nobody can spell it correctly, pronounce it, and it was the reason behind a lot of teasing as a child. Yup, I'd ditch my name and if the marriage ended I'd keep my new name.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top