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Ok, I've decided to say something too, since is not fair, judging someone without being aware of the other side of the story.
I'm the wife, the supposely lesbian, but apparently bitchy, selfish and crazy woman married to this poor man.
I don't like share private matters on a forum, but some of the things I've read in her about me has been no nice, and hurt me. So now I get little pissed off and say my side of the story, or better, what has not being said by my husband.
He did not say that I'm not originally from the US. I willingly moved from europe to the US, to support my husband career. I left my family, life and friends, but then realized that I'm not able to find the same feeling of home here in the US. I feel lonely, and sometimes out of place.
My husband can be rude and bossy with pretty much anyone. He likes to criticize, but does not take any criticism himself. I cannot say anything without being accused of complaining. I pretty much keep everything for myself now.
My husband makes me feel emotionally abused on a regular basis, since after we got married.
He never mentioned that when this post was first posted I was 5 months pregnant. My husband never helped me during my pregnancy, physically, or emotionally. I did all the housework until the day I delivered. He did not helped on purpose. My labor was induced because I had high blood pressure for the last 3-4 months of my pregnancy. I never had a chance to rest enough, or take better care of myself during the pregnancy. I never felt like a woman should feel when she's pregnant, I felt lonely, and depressed. My husband's only thought was having sex with me.
After I gave birth, I had no help either. My husband never asked me how I was feeling. I had a 4th degree tear, and dozen of stitches on my private parts, but I was again doing all the housework, plus the baby care, a week after delivering. The painkiller were the only thing that allowed me to move around and get going with my days without being in excruciating pain.
He calls me b**** on a regular basis, but I have to forget about it...
He forgot to say that we are having financial issues
He did not mentioned that we live in a rural area, have only one vehicle, and very few friends; this equal me being home all day alone with my baby. We don't do things as a family, he spends is spare time on the couch, and we do not have common interests to share.
As a today, I do 90% of housework and baby care, plus I go to school full time, and get less than 6hours of sleep each night. Plus I'm dealing with lots of emotional issues that has nothing to do with our marriage, but are affecting it, especially when I have no emotional support whatsoever, other than my parents that live 8,000 miles away from here.
Today my husband has not yet talked to, or interacted with his son at all. I don't know what a 4 months old baby can do to deserve to be ignored by his father for a whole day.
It is not easy feeling comfortable being intimate with someone, that makes you feel like you're worthless. I do understand his feelings, but I would like someone to understand mine as well. I did not woke up one morning and decided I was not going to have sex with my husband anymore.
Still I don't think he's yet understanding how I feel on a daily basis,but I'm expected to understand him, and do something about it pretty quickly, or he will leave.
Unfortunately for him, I believed in the values I have, and the ones I agreed upon. I was taught to be patient, be strong, to walk with my head up at all times, to work things out, so I will not give up easily. Believe it or not, I still love him. Maybe I don't really like him that much right now, but I do feel love for him.
Still I don't think he's yet understanding how I feel on a daily basis..
Wow! Reps to you! Your post just proves the old adage that there are two sides to every story.
Sounds like communication between you two has really broken down. I don't know if counseling would help, but it sure sounds like there are real misunderstandings by both of you.
That said, him calling you names is WAY out of line...inexcusable, intolerable. No one should put up with that for a minute.
The real answer is that she's probably not in love with you anymore, but she still gets horny from time-to-time. Cutting her off won't help things, what you need to do is have a heart-to-heart convo with her and discuss what you both can do to reconnect with one another or if she's even interested in reconnecting with you.
I know the original post is old, but I wanted to answer the question anyway. I'd love to know if him cutting her off completely made a difference. I've actually given that advice to other people before and their partner hadn't even noticed they had been cut off! Needless to say, generally a bad sign.
Woot! I just wanted to give myself props for being on the mark.
Secondly, please get counseling It makes me sad to hear that both you and him are suffering. I know the idea of getting counseling may sound daunting and like you're one step away from throwing in the towel, but it can be a lifesaver in many instances. Even if you both find out you're incompatible, it would be better to find out sooner rather than later, imo. If you don't want to go for each other, maybe you should at least do it for your new baby. No child should have to grow up in a tense household, right? Good luck.
Ok, I've decided to say something too, since is not fair, judging someone without being aware of the other side of the story.
I'm the wife, the supposely lesbian, but apparently bitchy, selfish and crazy woman married to this poor man.
I don't like share private matters on a forum, but some of the things I've read in her about me has been no nice, and hurt me. So now I get little pissed off and say my side of the story, or better, what has not being said by my husband.
He did not say that I'm not originally from the US. I willingly moved from europe to the US, to support my husband career. I left my family, life and friends, but then realized that I'm not able to find the same feeling of home here in the US. I feel lonely, and sometimes out of place.
My husband can be rude and bossy with pretty much anyone. He likes to criticize, but does not take any criticism himself. I cannot say anything without being accused of complaining. I pretty much keep everything for myself now.
My husband makes me feel emotionally abused on a regular basis, since after we got married.
He never mentioned that when this post was first posted I was 5 months pregnant. My husband never helped me during my pregnancy, physically, or emotionally. I did all the housework until the day I delivered. He did not helped on purpose. My labor was induced because I had high blood pressure for the last 3-4 months of my pregnancy. I never had a chance to rest enough, or take better care of myself during the pregnancy. I never felt like a woman should feel when she's pregnant, I felt lonely, and depressed. My husband's only thought was having sex with me.
After I gave birth, I had no help either. My husband never asked me how I was feeling. I had a 4th degree tear, and dozen of stitches on my private parts, but I was again doing all the housework, plus the baby care, a week after delivering. The painkiller were the only thing that allowed me to move around and get going with my days without being in excruciating pain.
He calls me b**** on a regular basis, but I have to forget about it...
He forgot to say that we are having financial issues
He did not mentioned that we live in a rural area, have only one vehicle, and very few friends; this equal me being home all day alone with my baby. We don't do things as a family, he spends is spare time on the couch, and we do not have common interests to share.
As a today, I do 90% of housework and baby care, plus I go to school full time, and get less than 6hours of sleep each night. Plus I'm dealing with lots of emotional issues that has nothing to do with our marriage, but are affecting it, especially when I have no emotional support whatsoever, other than my parents that live 8,000 miles away from here.
Today my husband has not yet talked to, or interacted with his son at all. I don't know what a 4 months old baby can do to deserve to be ignored by his father for a whole day.
It is not easy feeling comfortable being intimate with someone, that makes you feel like you're worthless. I do understand his feelings, but I would like someone to understand mine as well. I did not woke up one morning and decided I was not going to have sex with my husband anymore.
Still I don't think he's yet understanding how I feel on a daily basis,but I'm expected to understand him, and do something about it pretty quickly, or he will leave.
Unfortunately for him, I believed in the values I have, and the ones I agreed upon. I was taught to be patient, be strong, to walk with my head up at all times, to work things out, so I will not give up easily. Believe it or not, I still love him. Maybe I don't really like him that much right now, but I do feel love for him.
Ok, wait a minute, I'm just wondering A) why you got married when you share no common interests, and B) why while being emotionally abused you chose to have a baby and expose it to this volatile relationship, and finally C) why you continue to accept emotional and verbal abuse?? UGH!
From what I hear, you made the bed honey, now you gotta lie in it! No pun intended!
Ok, I've decided to say something too, since is not fair, judging someone without being aware of the other side of the story.
I'm the wife, the supposely lesbian, but apparently bitchy, selfish and crazy woman married to this poor man.
I don't like share private matters on a forum, but some of the things I've read in her about me has been no nice, and hurt me. So now I get little pissed off and say my side of the story, or better, what has not being said by my husband.
He did not say that I'm not originally from the US. I willingly moved from europe to the US, to support my husband career. I left my family, life and friends, but then realized that I'm not able to find the same feeling of home here in the US. I feel lonely, and sometimes out of place.
My husband can be rude and bossy with pretty much anyone. He likes to criticize, but does not take any criticism himself. I cannot say anything without being accused of complaining. I pretty much keep everything for myself now.
My husband makes me feel emotionally abused on a regular basis, since after we got married.
He never mentioned that when this post was first posted I was 5 months pregnant. My husband never helped me during my pregnancy, physically, or emotionally. I did all the housework until the day I delivered. He did not helped on purpose. My labor was induced because I had high blood pressure for the last 3-4 months of my pregnancy. I never had a chance to rest enough, or take better care of myself during the pregnancy. I never felt like a woman should feel when she's pregnant, I felt lonely, and depressed. My husband's only thought was having sex with me.
After I gave birth, I had no help either. My husband never asked me how I was feeling. I had a 4th degree tear, and dozen of stitches on my private parts, but I was again doing all the housework, plus the baby care, a week after delivering. The painkiller were the only thing that allowed me to move around and get going with my days without being in excruciating pain.
He calls me b**** on a regular basis, but I have to forget about it...
He forgot to say that we are having financial issues
He did not mentioned that we live in a rural area, have only one vehicle, and very few friends; this equal me being home all day alone with my baby. We don't do things as a family, he spends is spare time on the couch, and we do not have common interests to share.
As a today, I do 90% of housework and baby care, plus I go to school full time, and get less than 6hours of sleep each night. Plus I'm dealing with lots of emotional issues that has nothing to do with our marriage, but are affecting it, especially when I have no emotional support whatsoever, other than my parents that live 8,000 miles away from here.
Today my husband has not yet talked to, or interacted with his son at all. I don't know what a 4 months old baby can do to deserve to be ignored by his father for a whole day.
It is not easy feeling comfortable being intimate with someone, that makes you feel like you're worthless. I do understand his feelings, but I would like someone to understand mine as well. I did not woke up one morning and decided I was not going to have sex with my husband anymore.
Still I don't think he's yet understanding how I feel on a daily basis,but I'm expected to understand him, and do something about it pretty quickly, or he will leave.
Unfortunately for him, I believed in the values I have, and the ones I agreed upon. I was taught to be patient, be strong, to walk with my head up at all times, to work things out, so I will not give up easily. Believe it or not, I still love him. Maybe I don't really like him that much right now, but I do feel love for him.
Set up a hidden cam and see what she gets up to. She probably masturbates on-line, cam to cam with other people. Then,if she is carrying on on-line, you should also do the same. Fire with fire, might be a good start.
Hey Dave... this original post is over 3 years old. I'd bet they've worked out by now buy I like the web cam idea. Maybe he could skype all his buddies and sell tickets to the live porn show.
I dont want to turn this into a gender war, but i loooove the CD double standards. THere is a thread floating around about a husband thats watching porn and most of the advice is " he is an ahole, get divorced, he's a deadbeat, what a loser, leave him". Flip the script and we're getting "she prolly has a good reason for withholding sex and watching porn, youre not doing it right, you must suck in bed" LMAO.....this just made me chuckle
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Too funny..but where is the button for Cd buddies?
It makes me sad to hear that both you and him are suffering. I know the idea of getting counseling may sound daunting and like you're one step away from throwing in the towel, but it can be a lifesaver in many instances. Even if you both find out you're incompatible, it would be better to find out sooner rather than later, imo. If you don't want to go for each other, maybe you should at least do it for your new baby. No child should have to grow up in a tense household, right? Good luck.
You made the bed...
Set up a cam
