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Uh-Uh, hon. Once a man decides to get into a monogamous relationship with a girl and he starts introducing her to people as his 'girlfriend', then all his female friends need to fall back and respect that. And, HE needs to respect the fact that now that he has a girlfriend, things change, like wanting to go visit FEMALE FRIENDS. He could be spending that time with YOU, but yet, she's on his mind. I personally wouldn't have liked that either, and you have a right to be pissed.
The only issue that I have with you is, you've only been dating this guy for 1 month and you're already having sex with him. You're moving WAY too fast. You should still be in the dating phase, getting to know one another, to see if this would be someone you'd like to pursue something long-term with in the future, but yet you're knocking boots with him already.
I'm sorry, but it just doesn't seem like he's THAT into you and that you're more into him than he is into you. Sounds like he just wants the physical aspect of it and he's playing mind games with you because you're allowing him to.
I'd cut my losses now and move on. You're only a month into it. It shouldn't be THAT hard to let go.
Naw I dont roll with this either.. although I do agree with some of it..
#1 no one changes what I do or why I do it.. I dont get into a relationship for someone to try and change what I am currently doing or how I am... you take me the way I am.. if you dont like it.. hey, dont let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya .. as you walk out the door.
#2 If he has a friend.. and he would rather be with her.. then that says a lot for you.. (which is where I agree with you on this).
Although he may have a lot of friends (girl types) you shouldnt be getting jealous.. Did you know that he had all of these friends before you started this relationship with him?
If he did.. then you need to step back and either accept it.. or dont accept it.. your choice.. if you do not accept it.. then you know where the door is.. if it were me.. you would not be able to change that..
You need to look at yourself before you look at him.. the opportunity lays with you.. not him.. do what you need to do .. to make you happy.. in other words.. **** or get off the pot.
Little Mizz Pittsburgh
U R 2 funny. ANd I do appreciate the good advice, I can see it is good advice. Just really overly concerned about things in a new relationship. Don't want to be taken for granted, if he needs reassurance, I want to give him that too. I want to be a good girlfriend and I expect him to be a good boyfriend, which, U R right, does include NOT texting extensively with someone else when he is with me. I think I will let him know my feelings on that. I just don't want to be the type who makes him change his life. I was upset last night. Upset he doesn't want to sleep over , too. What's up with that?
Because he had other plans that obviously didn't include YOU...plans probably with that SEXUAL 'female friend', if you know what I mean.
Keep your eyes and ears open, hon. That's all I can tell you. Because you seem really into this guy and there is nothing like the pain that stems from heartbreak.
You know, it totally amazes me how MEN have a different outlook on these types of situations when it comes to THEIR female friends..."You shouldn't be getting jealous"..."You're insecure"..."NO ONE is going to change me".....blah, blah, blah..
But, let the shoe be on the other foot. Let YOUR 'girlfriend' continue to call, hang out with and text her male friend(s), like she's still living the single life, and I bet you will have a totally different outlook and question some things.
All I am trying to say is when you get into a relationship, and you had male or female friends before getting into that relationship, I'm not saying STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH THEM. I'm just saying things change. You have a NEW priority now, which is not them, and they need to respect that. So, if that means you're not in contact with them as much as you USED TO BE, then so be it. Such is life. That doesn't mean yall still can't be cool with one another. Its just that you have other obligations now which they need to understand and respect.
You know, it totally amazes me how MEN have a different outlook on these types of situations when it comes to THEIR female friends..."You shouldn't be getting jealous"..."You're insecure"..."NO ONE is going to change me".....blah, blah, blah..
But, let the shoe be on the other foot. Let YOUR 'girlfriend' continue to call, hang out with and text her male friend(s), like she's still living the single life, and I bet you will have a totally different outlook and question some things.
All I am trying to say is when you get into a relationship, and you had male or female friends before getting into that relationship, I'm not saying STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH THEM. I'm just saying things change. You have a NEW priority now, which is not them, and they need to respect that. So, if that means you're not in contact with them as much as you USED TO BE, then so be it. Such is life. That doesn't mean yall still can't be cool with one another. Its just that you have other obligations now.
Nope.. wont happen in my case.. in my eyes.. and I cant talk for all the other fellas.. if you want to talk to your guy friend.. talk to him..
If you had 100 guy friends that you talked to before I met you.. then I would already know about that.. so common sense dictates.. I either accept it or dont accept it.. If I dont accept it..
There are other fish in the sea.. you understand where I am coming from? One thing about man and woman.. Men and women all have the same parts, due to that .. we are all interchangeable provided we like that person we are interchanging our parts with..
If you dont like what you see.. move on... you will find someone that will be with you for what you are and do what you like..
Well, I guess it depends on the person, because I have male friends that date back to middle school, and I've had a couple of boyfriends, in the past, who sometimes had a problem with me not actually HAVING male friends, but me sitting around he-he and haw-hawing it up on the phone with them, which wasn't even all that often. I had to tell my Ex's to fall back at times because it wasn't that serious. Now, I can understand being territorial, because I am territorial, which is why my views on this subject, in this thread, are very strong, but as long as my man isn't talking, texting and hanging out with his female friend, every single day, while he's labeling me his GIRLFRIEND, then there won't be a problem. The problem comes in when every time I turn around, you're on the phone with her, or I see a text come across from her on his phone too often, so on and so forth. I don't know how most of yall get down on here, but "I" don't get down like that and he will know it and so will she if she doesn't fall back a little bit...However, common sense should tell you to stop all that behavior once your male friend or female friend gets a new mate. AGAIN, its called RESPECT.
Last edited by Little Mizz Pittsburgh; 05-28-2009 at 05:33 PM..
Well, I guess it depends on the person, because I have male friends that date back to middle school, and I've had a couple of boyfriends, in the past, who sometimes had a problem with me not actually HAVING male friends, but me sitting around he-he and haw-hawing it up on the phone with them, which wasn't even all that often. I had to tell my Ex's to fall back at times because it wasn't that serious. Now, I can understand being territorial, because I am territorial, which is why my views on this subject, in this thread, are very strong, but as long as my man isn't talking, texting and hanging out with his female friend, every single day, while he's labeling me his GIRLFRIEND, then there won't be a problem. The problem comes in when every time I turn around, you're on the phone with her, or I see a text come across from her on his phone too often, so on and so forth. I don't know how most of yall get down on here, but "I" don't get down like that and he will know it and so will she if she doesn't fall back a little bit...However, common sense should tell you to stop all that behavior once your male friend or female friend gets a new mate. AGAIN, its called RESPECT.
I guess we can agree to disagree . Bottom line is, I don't expect any of my friends, including my female friends, to "fall back" over someone who I've known for a month or three. The woman I'm dating either respects and trusts me enough to know these are PLATONIC friends and that I am committed to her, or she doesn't, in which case we shouldn't be dating.
Now I'll agree with you, overt sexy flirtations and stuff like that should stop, if it was going on to start with (in my case, it generally is NOT). But I simply do not see why the friendship as a whole needs to be "throttled back." And again, I don't mean dates and such being interrupted - that's rude REGARDLESS of what sex the person doing the interrupting is. But assuming normal, respectful people and a normal platonic friendship without sexual overtones, and I see little reason why that friendship can continue on as normal.
OP posting again, because I don't know if I can handle this (all these women) , nothing to do with the girl I originally posted about, thinking I have the problem. , but I don't know how not to act weird after being around him and one of the females, don't have this reaction with all of them, but some. Any advice? I may start a new thread if this is lost in the middle of this thread. thank-you for all responses.
OP posting again, because I don't know if I can handle this (all these women) , nothing to do with the girl I originally posted about, thinking I have the problem. , but I don't know how not to act weird after being around him and one of the females, don't have this reaction with all of them, but some. Any advice? I may start a new thread if this is lost in the middle of this thread. thank-you for all responses.
He don't have any male friends? He sure does like to hang around a BUNCH of females all the time...
He don't have any male friends? He sure does like to hang around a BUNCH of females all the time...
he does have male friends, too. He is just a social person, I think. But I feel funny sometimes after spending time with certain females. Then I act funny , he noticed I was very quiet after this last time, and then I get over it but how can I tell if I can handle this or not because my reactions are not good. And I know it's mostly me, all me even, so how can I control myself better so that I don't negatively affect the relationship? I really like him, I think deep down Im a jealous person , maybe.
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. Bottom line is, I don't expect any of my friends, including my female friends, to "fall back" over someone who I've known for a month or three. The woman I'm dating either respects and trusts me enough to know these are PLATONIC friends and that I am committed to her, or she doesn't, in which case we shouldn't be dating.
He sure does like to hang around a BUNCH of females all the time...
