42 year old male virgin in an interpersonal quandry (date, women, attractive)

[Huckleberry3911948]

contours of the matter, got the feeling you are neither 42 nor a virgin.
you dont write like a saint friend. you write like the young and hot
urban dweller you are.
signed a non turnip
still on the truck

[nitokenshi]

mmmm trolls

[Capt. Dan]

If, when she shows up for the date,she says "that will be $300 up front," you know it isnt a date!

[big daryle]

My friend, you need release. That is all I need to say!!!!!!!!!!!!

[davey123]

Go out on the date. During the date you should be able to get a good sense of the vibe between you two. I'm not exactly sure how she has implied that she wants to have sex with you. However, once you are on the date, and you feel that she is still expecting to have sex, you can gently let her know that sex will not be happening. Just be upfront about it.

I'm sure that since you are 42 and a virgin, you must have dealt with this kind of situation before. So, I'm actually confused that this is, as you described, "an interpersonal quandry." In particular, I'm wondering what "exactly" is making this a quandry. It just feels like something is being left out of this story.

[STT Resident]

The 40 year old virgin movie with Steve Carell obviously got your fingers twiddling. Welcome to the CD relationship forum where so many can be fooled by so many some of the time but not all most of the time. Cheers!

[Aylalou]

In addition to all the other posts, you need this for experience (for your internal resume).

[bxlefty23]

op- what did she say that makes you think she expects sex?

[jimboburnsy]

Originally Posted by pi'op

I've a date on Saturday, the first I've had in about 10 years. We met incidentally through mutual friends and she effectively asked me out a week ago. While flattered enough, she's now sending out rather clear signals that she expects to come back to my place to spend the night. I've not encouraged her thinking in this regard, it's just that she's clearly more on the bold side (more than I intuited originally) and attractive so I think she's use to dates going this way for her.

Obviously this makes me uneasy on a number of accounts. Part of me feels like cancelling because we're simply not on even terms with respect to sex; I'm potentially walking into a situation where I'll have to turn her down (which might offend her) or I'll following through with potentially very awkward results.

On the other hand, she is bright and ready-witted and we have some rapport. (And, amazingly, she asked me out.)

The other option, I suppose, is to tell her my "status" but this feels particularly embarrassing given her personality- perhaps with another woman of a less aggressive temperament and after a series of no expectation dates this would be possible.

While I could write more, my description outlines the contours of the matter.

Thus: cancel? date?

I call shenanigans , but an interesting question nonetheless...

Please excuse me for injecting my own beliefs into your situation, but ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? What you are doing is a violation of the natural order and I advise you to jump off the wagon immediately. You totally missed out on the prime thrusting years, but it isn't too late.

[Capt. Dan]

Remember--When youre slappin the salami to her, her screaming "OH GOD! " is a good thing! Her asking "is it in yet?" is not!