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Old 05-29-2009, 11:01 AM
Location: southern california
61,284 posts, read 83,984,821 times
Reputation: 55462


contours of the matter, got the feeling you are neither 42 nor a virgin.
you dont write like a saint friend. you write like the young and hot
urban dweller you are.
signed a non turnip
still on the truck
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:03 AM
3,089 posts, read 8,263,645 times
Reputation: 2043
mmmm trolls
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:07 AM
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,262 posts, read 17,809,375 times
Reputation: 10129
If, when she shows up for the date,she says "that will be $300 up front," you know it isnt a date!
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:13 AM
Location: Norwood, MN
1,828 posts, read 3,651,933 times
Reputation: 901
My friend, you need release. That is all I need to say!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:17 AM
1,477 posts, read 2,122,934 times
Reputation: 22488
Go out on the date. During the date you should be able to get a good sense of the vibe between you two. I'm not exactly sure how she has implied that she wants to have sex with you. However, once you are on the date, and you feel that she is still expecting to have sex, you can gently let her know that sex will not be happening. Just be upfront about it.

I'm sure that since you are 42 and a virgin, you must have dealt with this kind of situation before. So, I'm actually confused that this is, as you described, "an interpersonal quandry." In particular, I'm wondering what "exactly" is making this a quandry. It just feels like something is being left out of this story.
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:18 AM
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,669 posts, read 66,990,200 times
Reputation: 26681
The 40 year old virgin movie with Steve Carell obviously got your fingers twiddling. Welcome to the CD relationship forum where so many can be fooled by so many some of the time but not all most of the time. Cheers!
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:21 AM
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,553 posts, read 6,506,202 times
Reputation: 8567
In addition to all the other posts, you need this for experience (for your internal resume).
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:31 AM
1,552 posts, read 3,059,027 times
Reputation: 1267
op- what did she say that makes you think she expects sex?
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:45 AM
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,307 posts, read 37,714,843 times
Reputation: 7175
Originally Posted by pi'op View Post

I've a date on Saturday, the first I've had in about 10 years. We met incidentally through mutual friends and she effectively asked me out a week ago. While flattered enough, she's now sending out rather clear signals that she expects to come back to my place to spend the night. I've not encouraged her thinking in this regard, it's just that she's clearly more on the bold side (more than I intuited originally) and attractive so I think she's use to dates going this way for her.

Obviously this makes me uneasy on a number of accounts. Part of me feels like cancelling because we're simply not on even terms with respect to sex; I'm potentially walking into a situation where I'll have to turn her down (which might offend her) or I'll following through with potentially very awkward results.

On the other hand, she is bright and ready-witted and we have some rapport. (And, amazingly, she asked me out.)

The other option, I suppose, is to tell her my "status" but this feels particularly embarrassing given her personality- perhaps with another woman of a less aggressive temperament and after a series of no expectation dates this would be possible.

While I could write more, my description outlines the contours of the matter.

Thus: cancel? date?
I call shenanigans , but an interesting question nonetheless...

Please excuse me for injecting my own beliefs into your situation, but ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? What you are doing is a violation of the natural order and I advise you to jump off the wagon immediately. You totally missed out on the prime thrusting years, but it isn't too late.
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:49 AM
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,262 posts, read 17,809,375 times
Reputation: 10129
Remember--When youre slappin the salami to her, her screaming "OH GOD! " is a good thing! Her asking "is it in yet?" is not!
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