42 year old male virgin in an interpersonal quandry

[LaoTzuMindFu]

Originally Posted by pi'op

I've a date on Saturday, the first I've had in about 10 years. We met incidentally through mutual friends and she effectively asked me out a week ago. While flattered enough, she's now sending out rather clear signals that she expects to come back to my place to spend the night. I've not encouraged her thinking in this regard, it's just that she's clearly more on the bold side (more than I intuited originally) and attractive so I think she's use to dates going this way for her.

Obviously this makes me uneasy on a number of accounts. Part of me feels like cancelling because we're simply not on even terms with respect to sex; I'm potentially walking into a situation where I'll have to turn her down (which might offend her) or I'll following through with potentially very awkward results.

On the other hand, she is bright and ready-witted and we have some rapport. (And, amazingly, she asked me out.)

The other option, I suppose, is to tell her my "status" but this feels particularly embarrassing given her personality- perhaps with another woman of a less aggressive temperament and after a series of no expectation dates this would be possible.

While I could write more, my description outlines the contours of the matter.

Thus: cancel? date?

Best advice I could find is here from Mooj:


YouTube - Advice From Mooj

[doss1]

Originally Posted by broadbill

For the love of pete....go on that date!

Chances are you've built up sex to be a much bigger deal than it really is....Despite everything we are read/hear/see about sex, its not that big of a deal. Really.

Aint that the truth. At the end of the day, I still fee like life is missing something. I sure get a much bigger thrill flying a biplane or backpacking in Yellowstone on a crisp and cold morning. I dunno, that's just me though. Society puts too much pressure on people today. I know, some people will say, "but you haven't had good sex!" and I will say, "no, you haven't lived!" Sex eventually falters as one gets older --it's no longer will be enjoyable. But the pursuit of life and meaning is so much more. There's much much much more to life. I can't believe all the energy and time people put into the monotonous cycle of trying to bunk the opposite sex..every thread in here is about sex. Free your mind from it and people come to you. As I said in another thread, creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.

Anyways, off my soap box.

[kevinaw2]

I am appalled at some of the ignorant statements made. For the record. I am a 43 year old male virgin. Never dated,never kissed,etc. Is it frustrating? Sometimes. But that's life. The idea that not having had sex is unnatural is somehow unacceptable is just bizarre. As for seeing a prostitute? What sane,healthy & self respecting man would pay for sex? Not only is it highly risky, it really is exploitive of women too. So get over it. In the end it's no one's business anyway.

[AsymptoticFaery]

Originally Posted by sanrene

May I ask what/who you are waiting for?

I do have my doubts if this is even a legit story. Sorry, but a 42 year old male virgin?

As for the legitimacy of this original post? I have no idea.

But addressed generally, you guys would be surprised. Not very common but not the rarest thing on earth either.

Unless someone is very religious, I personally don't understand waiting for so long to not have done -anything- sexual. I don't think one should just go out and have sex with anyone just to have it as sexual experience should be meaningful if that is what one intends for it to be, but in the span of over 20 years, it's not very difficult to at least have experienced some things so that one can get acquainted with their sexuality development further...have a better understanding of how they operate and feel sexually which is part of self-exploration and awareness. There are many thing that can be done other than intercourse along the way.

[wallstreeterww]

Originally Posted by John McClane

It is possible for a man to be a 42 year old virgin if he is ugly and can not afford the services of a prostitute because he works at a minimum wage job.

Most guys who are below average in looks and do not have a high paying job, do not really have an active sex life anyways unless they are settling for very ugly women.

Thats a very shallow response and its very typical from men in our country these days. I have never had any problems with women and when I was on national tv talking about virginity I had many responses from women (especially female virgins ), but the point im making about your statement is now that ive seen how shallow and extrensic men are I actually feel sorry for alot of women these days. I certainly hope your statement doesnt represent all or most of my gender today. If it does then maybe we should reproduce lol. No wonder why more women are turning into lesbians lol.

[thatguy1]

Originally Posted by tamajane

Cancel. This is a disaster waiting to happen.

What, you want the OP to remain a virgin for life? Jeez....
Go on the ****ing date. Have a few drinks, be honest with her, then let her have it...for all of 30 seconds lol.