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I don't see NPD, but more of a drama queen. IMO you watch too many soap operas & act out what you see happening there. I think low self esteem is also an issue.
A lot of these so called "entertainers" love attention but at least they get to go on stage & validate themselves. Your problem is that you dont have that stage IMO. Can you sing? Take an acting class etc.
The false pregnancy test, I know plenty of women who have faked a pregnancy just to gauge a man & see his reaction in as much as I know plenty who fake headaches etc to avoid sex.
I'm not Dr. Phil but I highly doubt you have NPD.
From what I can see, you are full of drama & if you use that tool wisely, it can be to your advantage!
I've been reading these boards for weeks and I've finally decided to join and to share my thoughts about this. To get straight to the point, I'm pretty sure I'm a narcissist. I've thought this for some time now but seeing this subject pop up in so many threads here recently has encouraged me to post this.
I'm a 21 year old female art student in England. I suffered from depression from the age of 13, I'm a recovered anorexic and I've suffered from social anxiety from the age of 18 (at which point i isolated myself and didnt leave the house for over a year).
Now that that's out of the way, I've always had a sense that I was unique, special, "above" the people who tormented me through my school years. I used to sit at home and dream of meeting them again in ten years time and watch them squirm as I walked in better than them, above them, superior to them. It doesn't seem so unusual.. of course plenty of people fantasize about these things right?
But as i grew older, this need to be the best became an obsession. I had to be perfect, I had to look better, act better, sound better, know more, be more talented etc.. Which lead to alot of disappointment and self hatred on my part.
During my late teens I started to have this sense of being the best.. I DESERVED to win the college awards, and when I didn't I cried FIX! Surely it was a fix, no? I mean, there's no way I couldn't have won. It tortured me, and filled me with anger that someone could be crowned better than me. That's the thing, when i absolutely KNEW I should have won or be graded better, it hit me like a ton of bricks because i felt that *I* deserved it.
Now I have a boyfriend and I'm starting to see patterns in the way I treat him. Sometimes, and as awful as this sounds, I have considered that the reason I am with him is because he is not as good looking as me. And that by him being "below" me, he will admire me and be grateful to have me as his girlfriend. I felt as if no other female would find him attractive. The funny thing is, when I did notice that females like him, it almost caused me a mental breakdown. I felt completely lost, i realized that he IS desirable, and it killed me. How dare he be desirable, I thought. But deep down I do love him.. it's just, these thoughts of him not getting anyone else made me feel safe. it made me feel that he wont stray.
And I do things.. I don't know why i do them. I play mind games with him. One day I make it the most wonderful day for him, I treat him like a king, I give him everything, i shower him in attention and kisses... Then the next day.... I take it away LIKE THAT. GONE. And he's left wondering what happened. But do you know what he does? Out of fear or losing me and of never having a wonderful day like that again, he comes crawling back to me, sweet talking me, clinging to me, promising me the world, doing anything i want him to do...
And with that, I know I have him. Mine. I do it because it makes me feel safe. And with it, I get a sense of pride knowing that I can wrap him around my finger. I hate to admit it because i know i'm an awful person but I can't help it, it's the truth.
Another thing is, I make big dramas up when i talk to people in person. I told my lecture that a family member was ill, when I said it I knew it was wrong but the sympathy and attention I got made me feel liked, respected.
I lie and tell my boyfriend that guys hit on me, i also gave him a fake pregnancy scare just to see his reaction. I wanted the dramatics..
I'm so confused about everything. I know it's not normal but I feel like without all these awful things I do, I'm just a scared pathetic person...
ArtistGirl, I see no issues in you, except that towards the end, the pregnancy scare and stuff was a bit too much.
You have a certain egotist complex. It's a good thing, except that you should learn when to control it and how. It needs its limits.
I have highlighted some parts where I see an exact parallel to my attitude during my school and college.
Noone tormented me in school though, but I had a sense of superiority complex over my peers. It led to a lot of disappointment in college. Because one should back such expectations with actual performance. I did, but I didn't score 150%
After all these years, megalomania hasn't really left me. It's even intensified. But I have learnt to control it. You can control it Just don't indulge in too much of narcissism.
So, from one megalomaniac to another - set some limits and for God's sake - "DONOT see a shrink". They only complicate the problem. I'm serious.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Hmmm One of the first things a psychiatrist would want to know is if your parents were/are alcoholics. Children (grown or not) of alcoholic parents seem to have to have high drama in their lives and if they don't, they often create it, conciously or not.
'Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. They believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.'
Frankly, these are the only dates I seem to get anymore!"
I have studied psychology and I can promise you that you are a therapist dream. You have self examined yourself to the point that you can be helped. You've done the hard part! Congradulations, Good for you. Getting people to see and acknowledge their problems is usually the big uphill climb that takes the longest.
Being ready and willing to work on those problems is the other big hurdle. If your doctor is of any worth, s/he will join us in congradulating you on the progress you've made with self reflection. Best of Luck.
NPD traits are pretty common. I wouldn't worry about it. A therapist cannot fix you since most of them have NPD traits anyway. You can figure out what you would like to improve and work on in your own time.
If you want to be more patient then start acting more patient.
If you think your Boyfriend could be more attractive then lend him a helping hand and be part of the solution. A big part of this is putting it into action. It isn't going to magically change by just sitting in a therapists office.
The list goes on and on.
A therapist can't do anything for you despite what others might tell you. Just do your own research. Change your behaviors or attitude on your own free will.
Yeah it does sound like you have a lot of symptoms of NPD. (Narcisstic personality disorder) The one difference is that most people with NPD would never consider that they could have it, because of course they are "perfect." But everything else sounds pretty right on. Maybe you should make a counseling appointment.
I doubt someone with NPD would post here. They don't care how their behavior affects others. We are all bit players on their stage of life. As "hired help" we are always failing do out job of complimenting them on their obvious superiority and need to be put in our place.
People with NPD have a real crisis of confidence when their "obvious superiority" starts to fade. Bring on the Prozac, divorce lawyers and analysts.
NPD traits are very common, that's why you said you seem to always be dating those types......
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck
I doubt someone with NPD would post here. They don't care how their behavior affects others. We are all bit players on their stage of life. As "hired help" we are always failing do out job of complimenting them on their obvious superiority and need to be put in our place.
People with NPD have a real crisis of confidence when their "obvious superiority" starts to fade. Bring on the Prozac, divorce lawyers and analysts.
I have to respectfully disagree with Artsy. A GOOD therapist can help you. Your issues are too deep to tackle completely on your own. If you find a god therapist, you will benefit from the assist and guidance they can provide.
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy
NPD traits are pretty common. I wouldn't worry about it. A therapist cannot fix you. You can figure out what you would like to improve and work on it on your own time.
If you want to be more patient then start acting more patient.
If you think your Boyfriend could be more attractive then lend him a helping hand and be part of the solution.
The list goes on and on.
A therapist can't do anything for you despite what others might tell you. Just do your own research. Change your behaviors or attitude on your own free will.
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Just don't indulge in too much of narcissism. 
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