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I'm failing to understand how he was getting attached to you by "no talking about himself" Usually when people do not talk about themselves and avoid questions that means to me that they are avoiding getting attached.
So I have failed to understand your comments. Can you clarify that for me please?
Quote:
Originally Posted by katie2dc
I think a lot of it depends on making sure the intentions are clear. If I flirt with guys that are "possibilities" (someone i'm not really attracted but wouldn't mind the company) then i say i'm not looking for a serious relationship (but that doesn't guarantee sex either). If they still want to hang thats cool with me, we can take it from there. If not, then i'll see you around. If I go cold or stop calling at least you knew my intentions beforehand. If i am interested in someone, i don't say anything at all. Just hang feel each other out and I don't expect too much. I'm 23, i think most ppl in my age group will do the hot and cold thing.
I've come to terms that some ppl will be direct and tell you what they want, others are scared to (for whatever reason) and you just won't hear from them. About 2 months ago, i met a guy. He was funny, financially situated and driven. We spoke on the phone, hung out a few times and it was clear he was interested in me even after i gave him the usual warning not to get attached a few days after hanging out. I liked his company but went cold when i noticed he would not open up about himself. I can be a talker when i'm comfortable and i noticed that whenever i would ask him questions about himself he would make some kind of hilarious joke in an effort to avoid answering. It worked once or twice then i said F it. I stopped calling and when he asked why, i told him he was getting attached and i didn't want him to get hurt - mostly true.
It just wasn't interesting anymore. He wouldn't talk and since i had no intentions of getting serious, I cut it off. You have to think about what it is you want and also observe the actions of the other person and see if they know what they want. Sometimes the signs are all there and ppl ignore them.
hey guys, so i have a question... i met a guy who is 10 years older then me, he is brilliant, stable, fun, out there, but I don't know how to behave around him. I feel too young for him... am i being paranoid??
MissBeee, what you have to do is go to the top of the page and go back to the main page by clicking on "Relationships". Once there, you look towards the left for a bubble tht say "new thread". There you can write your question instead of crashing another thread. Good luck.
why are men hot and cold? Im guessing they are all hot for you when they're horny and once taken care of , they cool off, don't pay as much attention. what do you all make of this sort of behavior?
i agree with mathguy's post
it sounds like he just wanted a roll in the hay
yes, there are guys like that, based on my own personal experience
not all men are like that
if that's not what you want in your life, then time to screen people differently and change your own behavior
changing how you act, changes how they act
Changing how you act, doesn't really promise they won't use you for sex ( a sex addict is a sex addict), however, screening people differently can weed out the ones that just in it for a one night stand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel
i agree with mathguy's post
it sounds like he just wanted a roll in the hay
yes, there are guys like that, based on my own personal experience
not all men are like that
if that's not what you want in your life, then time to screen people differently and change your own behavior changing how you act, changes how they act
kinda wrote that on my way out the door. well the guy wouldn't open up about himself but was always asking about me and my personal life. At first i thought the same thing, that he was trying to keep his distance but then he would go out of his way to see me after work or on weekends. He was always trying to set up dates, calling more and more often etc. but the whole time, wouldn't talk about himself. When I asked him why he was so secretive he said, he didn't feel like talking about it but would tell me eventually. At that point i didn't care to find out so i just stopped answering his calls. It got annoying and seemed like drama that i don't need.
kinda wrote that on my way out the door. well the guy wouldn't open up about himself but was always asking about me and my personal life. At first i thought the same thing, that he was trying to keep his distance but then he would go out of his way to see me after work or on weekends. He was always trying to set up dates, calling more and more often etc. but the whole time, wouldn't talk about himself. When I asked him why he was so secretive he said, he didn't feel like talking about it but would tell me eventually. At that point i didn't care to find out so i just stopped answering his calls. It got annoying and seemed like drama that i don't need.
He sounds like he was hiding something. Maybe a wife.
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