I was assumed to be gay by half the women I work with, WTF? (attracted, advice)
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You really can't see why a straight man (someone who is attracted to women) would be bothered if said-women were to think he was gay?
Would you ever be attracted to and want to date a gay man?
lol, Cyan, not every guy is out to get laid!
This person seems to have other reasons for not wanting women to think that he's gay, and in fact, seems to be considering letting them think that just so they won't bother him.
I've never known any woman who made it her goal to de-gay a man, so I think you're pretty safe.
There are other ways you could let them know not to bother you without letting them think you are or aren't gay. I would think just telling them that you are busy would lead to less drama and be simpler than any other methods.
That has kind of been the cause of all this drama, blowing off that one girl who constantly complains about her husband. She's the one who apparently started this notion. I think keeping my mouth shut from now on may just be a better idea. I'm really not trying to have a relationship now and these women are not the least bit my type.
That has kind of been the cause of all this drama, blowing off that one girl who constantly complains about her husband. She's the one who apparently started this notion. I think keeping my mouth shut from now on may just be a better idea. I'm really not trying to have a relationship now and these women are not the least bit my type.
I mean, if she's the type of person who started the rumor partially out of spite for you blowing her off, then, yeah, you're probably better staying away from her.
You could probably just casually mention your ex-gf or something if you want to set the record straight. No need to make an "I'm not gay" speech.
I once thought my co-worker on a job was lesbian, but I didn't feel any need to talk about it with others. I don't see why people have to gossip over stuff like this at work. So stupid....
That has kind of been the cause of all this drama, blowing off that one girl who constantly complains about her husband. She's the one who apparently started this notion. I think keeping my mouth shut from now on may just be a better idea. I'm really not trying to have a relationship now and these women are not the least bit my type.
In that case, there doesn't seem to be much harm in them believing whatever they will to about you, unless you work in an office full of troglodytes and having this rumor swirl around would damage your professional reputation.
Well....it's a win for your workplace professionalism I guess, you could always look at it that way.
It's pretty off that your sexual orientation has become such a topic of conversation and gossip and I'm pretty sure from what you've described that here it would be something that was in breach of the equal opportunities guidelines.
I'm not sure that bringing it to their attention is the way to go, they've obviously been way off base so far so any attempt to clarify might just end up in a big mess I'm thinking.
Your sexual orientation has no relevence in the work place and I'm guessing that you are either very professional at work (ie you're focused on the work so you've not given away personal details) OR you're dealing with some incredibly unprofessional people. It's probably a bit of both.
Either way I guess I'm saying you're now aware this is going on but unless you're confidant that some small hint will end it I'm not sure you would be wanting to get embroiled in some great drama and it's quite possible you're dealing with dramatic types. I say keep doing what you're doing, be professional but keep an eye and ear out and if it turns into something bigger then I'd be wanting to speak to whomever is in charge (human resources or your boss). I don't think it has anything to do with what you're wearing. So yeah, for now go about your business but be on guard.
This is really solid advice. I typically am quite wordy with my advice. But, I think Moonshadow covered all the relevant points.
I work in the IT department of a Houston oil company as a network engineer and with the exception of the Geophysics/Engineering Exploration floors, I'm generally in the presence of quite a few females old and young. Now word has gotten back to me that most women who have seen me believe that I'm gay because of the way that I dress and I keep my hair cut consistently. Turns out the chick that has everyone thinking this is a chick that saw me at a club with about 5 other females and no guys (she has also complained to me about her husband not wanting to sleep with her but i blew it off because of work that needed to be done). She assumed that since I came to the club with a group of women that I am gay which is weird, I would think it to be the opposite. Reason for me going out with this group of female companions was to celebrate me being free of an awful relationship I was in with a female from the Virgin Islands. I like to go out and have a good time dancing and the guys I hang around are all wall-flowers, I do have a gay friend that I go out with from time to time but that's just to hang out and talk, vent about work and relationship issues or just to chill.My question is should I actually bring it to their attention that I'm not gay or just go on about my business and let them assume until they see me tonguing some chick down in a nightclub somewhere?Ladies, how would you define a guys as dressing gay?Just to give you an idea of how I typically dress, I ususally wear a pair of slim/boot-cut Express jeans with an Express T-Shirt or Lacoste Polo, matching belt and a pair of Onitsuka Tigers (The colors on these shoes are sometimes wierd and I have just about all 68 pair).
First of all, you do not need to explain to ANYONE what your sexual preference is especially to someone at work who shouldn't be talking crap behind your back to begin with. Do what you feel is best for you with this gossiper at work but if it were me, I would confront her and ask her why she feels it is necessary to assume my sexual preference and what that assumption could possibly be doing for her? I'm not normally a confrontational person, however, when it is this kind of talk it upsets me and I would confront that person.
For years, I played women's amateur softball here in the town where I live. EVERYONE assumes that because you are female and play softball that you are lesbian...not always true. Yes there are some lesbian women playing softball and they are usually well educated, professional females and who cares what their sexual preference is. Then there were those of us with our pony tails, fake nails and makeup who played softball maybe not as well as the other women but we did enjoy the game. I hated the inuendos then and hate them to this day. I have stayed friends with the gay softball playing women and enjoy their open, honest and intelligent conversation...very unlike this gossiper you have at work.
Stop explaining your life away, confront this gossiper so it will stop and go out and have a blast with the women you know and your gay friend. Your life is yours and don't ever let anyone step in and try to make a mess of it with rumors and back stabbing...have fun!
That has kind of been the cause of all this drama, blowing off that one girl who constantly complains about her husband. She's the one who apparently started this notion. I think keeping my mouth shut from now on may just be a better idea. I'm really not trying to have a relationship now and these women are not the least bit my type.
You don't need to explain anything to anyone about your life...it is YOUR life not anyone elses to try to control. Look, people are going to voice an opinion on lots of things you do, how you dress, who you are with, what you say and how you say it...misery loves company and this means that people will be mean so they will feel better about theselves. I have never been a slim woman but in the same sense have never suffered for male companionship and my present husband is 10 years younger than me. Since my high school days, I have heard "I don't know what he sees in her" when I dated a gorgeous lifeguard from our local swimming pool at the park.to "Gosh you would be gorgeous if you would lose weight" and it was all B.S. then and is B.S. now. I get so fed up with people who cannot and will not leave someone alone who might be just a tad different than they are. Get on with your life and how you want to live it and yes, maybe you are right to walk away from this whole mess....AFTER you confront the woman who started it all. Be nice...but confront her. People like her need to take responsibility for their inability to be tactful.
If you wear a brand of clothing that is traditionally for women, if you own 68 pairs of the same style shoes, then in most of America you are probably going to have to deal with questions about your sexuality.
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