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Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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If you've been with someone for, say, ten years and you've both been celebate--yes, even with each other--how can it be considered cheating on them if you sleep with somone else, say, once? Or can it? Purely hypothetical situation so don't get a knot in your skivvies.
I think it depends on the fact that if you vowed monogamy to the person. If that person was being monogamous and you promised to be the same then I consider it cheating. If you aren't in a serious relationship then it isn't cheating at all.
Unless there's valid reasoning or otherwise something good for it going much beyond that, it wouldn't be cheating in my case, it would be leaving.
And 10 years? Seriously? If your still agreeing to being monogamous after that long a time, it's cheating regardless, although you'd both need to be on some serious meds or otherwise have some majorly flawed reasoning going for that even hypothetically to happen.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by killer2021
I think it depends on the fact that if you vowed monogamy to the person. If that person was being monogamous and you promised to be the same then I consider it cheating. If you aren't in a serious relationship then it isn't cheating at all.
But presumptuously, if monogamous words were never spoken?
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Waynec613
10 days without it, and we're talking.
Unless there's valid reasoning or otherwise something good for it going much beyond that, it wouldn't be cheating in my case, it would be leaving.
And 10 years? Seriously? If your still agreeing to being monogamous after that long a time, it's cheating regardless, although you'd both need to be on some serious meds or otherwise have some majorly flawed reasoning going for that even hypothetically to happen.
I liked just the 'And 10 years? Seriously? Oi!' much better. LOL My thoughts, exactly.
If you've been with someone for, say, ten years and you've both been celebate--yes, even with each other--how can it be considered cheating on them if you sleep with somone else, say, once? Or can it? Purely hypothetical situation so don't get a knot in your skivvies.
Honestly, I'm having trouble visualizing this type of relationship. Are both these hypothetical people older, as in collecting social security? Or are they in some kind of weird cult? Or does one or both parties have some sort of serious disability? Let's not even talk about cheating for a second. Let's first define the nature of this relationship.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,945,126 times
Reputation: 9417
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCobb
Honestly, I'm having trouble visualizing this type of relationship. Are both these hypothetical people older, as in collecting social security? Or are they in some kind of weird cult? Or does one or both parties have some sort of serious disability? Let's not even talk about cheating for a second. Let's first define the nature of this relationship.
LMAO Some things are stranger than fiction, for sure. None of the above. This is stuff Hollywood movies are made of, I assure you. And make no mistake, there's no shortage of sex scenes. LOL
I personally think it would be cheating because most people's wedding vows included the phrase "for better or worse." Because there are no qualifiers on that, that really means everything. Now some things like domestic abuse and child molestation are not to be endured no matter what vows were made, but if the reason for a person's celibacy is the that their partner was injured in an accident or is taking some kind of medication that makes them lose interest or be unable to perform sexually ... well, that's the chance you both take when you marry someone. If there is a medical or psychological reason for the partner not wanting sex, you owe it to him/her to get professional help to try to overcome it and if it can't be overcome, then you need to have a serious discussion about it if it's beyond your limits to deal with it, not going sneaking around behind their back. Yes, that is definitely not an easy road to travel, but life doesn't come with guarantees.
When you think about it though, where does a person who is intent on cheating draw the line when looking for ways to justify it? One guy could say his wife doesn't like sex, but what about the wife who just thinks her husband is lousy in bed and he doesn't satisfy her? Does she have a "right" to cheat? What about the person whose spouse gained a lot of weight or lost his hair so that she no longer finds him sexually attractive? Or how about the guy whose wife has stretch marks so bad from her pregnancies that he doesn't find her sexually appealing anymore? Marriage is not supposed to be a "what can you do for me" type of deal. It's a lot more than two people just getting to have their "day" and then running off into the sunset. It's a commitment to each other and to the marriage itself.
If you've been with someone for, say, ten years and you've both been celebate--yes, even with each other--how can it be considered cheating on them if you sleep with somone else, say, once? Or can it? Purely hypothetical situation so don't get a knot in your skivvies.
That's not monogamy, that's celibacy.
Another person doesn't have the right to demand or expect a vow of celibacy from you.
That would be a vow you made with yourself, for yourself.
If you broke it, the only one you would be "cheating on" would be yourself.
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