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Sounds like a lot of people with trust issues and insecurity. Sheesh!
I've communicated with many ex-boyfriends via Facebook & MySpace over the past years... Communication between a Man and a Woman DOES NOT EQUAL SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE!
You say you don't trust women in rocky marriages, but do you trust YOUR husband? If so, it is a non-issue. Especially if he isn't sneaking and communicating. But if you keep making a huge deal out of nothing, he may start sneaking and communicating because your relationship may become rocky.
If you're in a relationship, and especially a marriage, you've got to be secure! You can't protect your significant other from all the 'evil' women out there!
No I don't trust him or her. I just don't want to sit around and have them courting each other. I think that even if it's purely innocent my feelings should be taken into consideration. I should be #1. I also really hate it when a woman knows a man is married and she comes on to him. Which she did. Even if he doesn't give in I don't like that she just disrespected me. Women should know their place.
I had a similar situation. My mother in law gave my husband his ex girlfriends (from high school) email (the mil kept in touch after all those years) She said her sister needed some help and my husband could possibly help out. They communicated back and forth without my knowledge. When I eventually found out I was told it was totally innocent. She was married and living in another state. The final outcome he had an affair with her, left me and our 3 kids and she left her husband. They now live together.
Do you think if your mother-in-law wouldn't of gave him the phone number your marriage would still be together? Or was there something else going on.
No I don't trust him or her. I just don't want to sit around and have them courting each other. I think that even if it's purely innocent my feelings should be taken into consideration. I should be #1. I also really hate it when a woman knows a man is married and she comes on to him. Which she did. Even if he doesn't give in I don't like that she just disrespected me. Women should know their place.
Well if she came on to him, then you have your answer right there. She cant be trusted and you need to have a conversation with your SO asking him why she is more important than you. You might not like the answer, but you need to get to the bottom of his behaviour. From what you have told us here, he is clearly not interested in keeping your marriage with him. I imagine him on the verge of walking out on you.
Do you think if your mother-in-law wouldn't of gave him the phone number your marriage would still be together? Or was there something else going on.
I had no clue there were any problems that it would have come to this. If my mother in law didn't get involved I believe we would have been together. She is an evil person. She invited the friend, who lived in MD, to her home in NJ, (where we lived) and had her spend the weekend, then went so far as to invite my husband to join in. She is a sick individual who contributed to the breakup of my marriage. I can't put the sole blame on her because he followed thru and took it to the next level. (We had just purchased a home and began rennovations, and he let me go on not knowing our marriage was in jeopardy) Between dating and marriage we were together 20 years. I met him when I was 17.
your husband is a guy. If there was a chance to get some off her, he would. Guys dont keep girls around just to be friends. They always hope there is just an outside fantasy chance they can get some one day. It may never happen, but if opertunity strikes, so will he
Get some off her???
What are you, 18?
Your entire post has to be one of the most childish, immature views of M/F relationships that I have read in my short time here.
Sounds like a lot of people with trust issues and insecurity. Sheesh!
I've communicated with many ex-boyfriends via Facebook & MySpace over the past years... Communication between a Man and a Woman DOES NOT EQUAL SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE!
Well said!
(But don't expect the insecure people with trust issues to agree with you.)
No I don't trust him or her. I just don't want to sit around and have them courting each other. I think that even if it's purely innocent my feelings should be taken into consideration. I should be #1. I also really hate it when a woman knows a man is married and she comes on to him. Which she did. Even if he doesn't give in I don't like that she just disrespected me. Women should know their place.
I'm glad you said that, and I didn't...
No, I understand your point very well. The implicit trust thing is overrated. I lean towards the belief that we are all of us vulnerable, given any number of situations, and the only reason we deny it is because as of yet we have not been in such a situation. I've recently reconnected, and just as quickly disconnected with an old love, and I did it based solely on the reason that you gave: My wife's feelings. She didn't like it, I was hurting her, and so it had to stop, and it was as simple as that.
Ah-ha...so it seemed to me as if a lot of people interjected...the OP didn't initially say that she asked him not to speak to this person, nor did she initially mention that there were prior trust issues.
This changes things, slightly.
However, the whole I'm #1 bit...Yeah, to a point. But at some point, people use that to control the actions of their significant other.
I don't want you speaking with this person, I should be #1
I don't want you hanging out with this person, I should be #1
I don't want you taking these business trips, I should be #1
When does your spouse get to be #1 and YOU become flexible to accommodate THEM?
No to "Implicit trust" ?!? Then WTF are you married?!? This wigs me out! And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high! Don't marry someone you can't trust!! Don't marry someone you can trust so long as you can control a, b, and c!!
I also really hate it when a woman knows a man is married and she comes on to him. Which she did. Even if he doesn't give in I don't like that she just disrespected me. Women should know their place.
I really hate it when a married man doesn't respect his marriage or his wife by stepping out on her. Married men should know their place.
See how easy that was to put all the blame on her and NONE on your husband?
Last edited by 2blessed2stress; 06-03-2009 at 01:04 PM..
Reason: typo
Would you be okay with your husband emailing an ex-girlfriend more than one time?
Absolutely NOT. What was his reason for emailing her? I don't buy the "just saying hello" thing.
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