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no! let some one say something about one of my loved ones.
i give them dirty looks and snickers back. i know its not the grown thing to do, but if an adult thinks they can talk about my family or friends like that, then i can talk about their ugliness as a person. not physical ugliness, but their shallowness and superficialness.
i love my family, fat, dark, skinny, short, cross eyed. they are my family. dont nobody talk about them like that and think its ok.
Me too; I have a girlfriend that was severely burned in a car accident and it pisses me off when people stare at her or make rude no-so-under-their-breath comments. That's the one time I play my race card Even though I've never been in a real physical fight in my entire life I can play the role like my last name is Ali. I'm sure one day someone will call my bluff and I'll get knocked the freak out but...then I'll have to find something else to do.
Aren't you the same dude starting threads about everyone staring at you and "hating" you.
I'd think you have a little more understanding.
i know people can be unkind, who does not? This does not mean it's right, but many things happen that are not right.
OP, i think she should change herself to accomodate others. help her lose weight, eat healthier, or even come up with funny comebacks to the people who stare at her. it would blow their minds apart.
I think its sad that you care what strangers think, of your own flesh and blood, and you would not have a big enough heart to stand up to their stares, and giggles. I mean, if YOU get embarrassed by it, can you imagine how it makes your sister feel...or have you even thought about that?
If your that shallow, then don`t even bother to take her out in public!
To the OP: No, I'm not embarrassed. How other people, friends, family, or strangers, dress does not reflect on me. The problem lies with you, not your sister.
One of my sisters is extremely overweight. She is close to 300 pounds and in all honesty she is just plain ugly. When she is out in public I notice that people tend to stare, giggle and are just plain rude to her. It must be terrible to be her because I can just feel the hostility. I notice that when I am with her some of the negative vibes that are directed at her because of her weight and general appearance is also directed at me. It is almost like people are saying, "what are you doing with her"So, are you embarrassed to be seen with people who are fat, frumpy and ugly?
Shame on you! This is your sister for Lord's sakes and how can you stand by and let anyone stare or poke fun at her?? How could you even allow it to happen to someone who is a friend?? I am heavy...not 300 pounds but am not thin by a long shot and worse case scenario, I am also 61 years old. I have 4 sisters, no brothers and not one of us is skinny but let anyone outside of the 5 of us say anything about any one of us and the manure will hit the fan. Why can't you take some "heat" for your sister instead of being concerned that perhaps being with her looks bad for you?
Are you so insecure about how you look that you cannot ask these gawkers what they are looking at? Don't you think that your sister would feel better about herself if you supported her and defended her when others make fun of her or stare? Not everyone has the nerve to say to someone, "what are YOU looking at"...I do and the reaction is priceless. I don't get gawked at too often and never have but when it does happen, I always ask them if I can help them with something or what are they looking at.. works wonders.
Look, big girls have feelings too and can sometimes need the support and encouragement of family to lose weight and get in shape. I have a sister who is an exercise fanatic...she isn't thin but is in great shape for a larger woman. She has always encouraged me and we have always worked together to keep our weight controllable. Why don't you try helping your sister instead of being worried that you are looking bad by being with her...I am still shaking my head over this one....
Real pretty young women will not be seen with a fat, frumpy ugly person
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes
This is such a ridiculous topic that I don't even think I can comment - except to say that I'm embarrassed for the OP for having brought this up.
Appearance discrimination is alive and well and we are judged by who we are seen with. When I go to the shopping mall and people watch I always mention to my husband when I see a pack of real pretty girls walking together how clonish they are. They all look alike. They would not be caught dead with someone who looks like my sister. It would destroy their standing and reputation.
That is what gave me the idea for the question, the observation that people will not be seen with someone who is really fat and ugly unless they are really secure with themselves or look that way to, even if they are the same sex.
I am not embarrassed to be with my grossly overweight sister who is so out of shape that she waddles when she walks and has just let her self go completely. I just mention that I constantly pick up the negative vibes that she gets and they are directed at me also for being with someone like her. Of course it is non verbal- so I can not lash back.
One of my sisters is extremely overweight. She is close to 300 pounds and in all honesty she is just plain ugly. When she is out in public I notice that people tend to stare, giggle and are just plain rude to her. It must be terrible to be her because I can just feel the hostility.
I notice that when I am with her some of the negative vibes that are directed at her because of her weight and general appearance is also directed at me. It is almost like people are saying, "what are you doing with her"
So, are you embarrassed to be seen with people who are fat, frumpy and ugly?
Fat people go through hell.
I am fat, dont care if this message board knows. I am diagnosed with problems that cause obesity. I eat just like you too. {yeah I know Im not believed} All I got to do is go to grocery store to watch all the thin people buying a cartload of crap.
You can diet your butt off, and lose 150 fricking lbs and still be treated like dirt if you are not "thin" enough. Ive lost 70 in 2 years, but I am still treated like dirt, because I havent hit the magic number!
I feel sorry for your sister. Why do you call her UGLY? Just because she is fat?
You know what is scary about this society to me, everyone is becoming CLONES. I can barely tell the difference between actresses on TV anymore, they look so much alike.
and who decided sinewy necks, and seeing every bone, was beautiful anyway?
I think this is a legitimate topic. I'm obese and sort of ugly now that I'm older. But I too am human and as a human both hardwired and raised to prefer beauty and youth, because I think part of this ageism too.
To answer the question; I'm not sure I'm embarrased to be seen with fat and ugly but sure, I'm human, I have the same tendency to want to be seen with societies perceived "winners". It wouldn't ever cross my mind to be nasty to anyone because of their looks however.
Are the people you are getting snarkniness from young? Such great parenting.
In general I'd think most beautiful, slender people might be embarrassed to be seen with someone fat and ugly. If someone has a loved one in that boat I think it makes them more sympathetic.
Lets face it, being fat is seen as a lack of will. A lack of self-discipline, lazy, slothful and a whole host of negatives. In our society its ok for everyone to be mean because its our fault we are fat. So we should pay for extra airline space etc.
You can take that logic a long way but no one does. Kid in prison - must be your fault you pay for it.
Thin which could be seen as product of age, vanity, self-absorbtion, shallow, young (lots of ageing Hollywood actors out there losing the battle with the bulge) or just genetically lucky
are not seen as faults in our society. I mean what's this "letting yourself go" thing all about anyway? I still read, pay attention to what's going on in the world, the country, try new things, have hobbies. Oh...I got old and didn't compensate by starving myself and killing myself on a treadmill.
I do wish that adults didn't feel free to let their feelings show though. I self-monitor my opinions about the stupid things I hear people talking about at the office and other places all the time.
Haven't you ever noticed that no matter how old we get sometimes its like the whole human community is still like third grade? Office cliques, church politics, NaNaNaaaNuNaNa etc. etc. etc.
I liked the post below, it was so logical and honest. I reped you!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Giesela
I think this is a legitimate topic. I'm obese and sort of ugly now that I'm older. But I too am human and as a human both hardwired and raised to prefer beauty and youth, because I think part of this ageism too.
To answer the question; I'm not sure I'm embarrased to be seen with fat and ugly but sure, I'm human, I have the same tendency to want to be seen with societies perceived "winners". It wouldn't ever cross my mind to be nasty to anyone because of their looks however.
Are the people you are getting snarkniness from young? Such great parenting.
In general I'd think most beautiful, slender people might be embarrassed to be seen with someone fat and ugly. If someone has a loved one in that boat I think it makes them more sympathetic.
Lets face it, being fat is seen as a lack of will. A lack of self-discipline, lazy, slothful and a whole host of negatives. In our society its ok for everyone to be mean because its our fault we are fat. So we should pay for extra airline space etc.
You can take that logic a long way but no one does. Kid in prison - must be your fault you pay for it.
Thin which could be seen as product of age, vanity, self-absorbtion, shallow, young (lots of ageing Hollywood actors out there losing the battle with the bulge) or just genetically lucky
are not seen as faults in our society. I mean what's this "letting yourself go" thing all about anyway? I still read, pay attention to what's going on in the world, the country, try new things, have hobbies. Oh...I got old and didn't compensate by starving myself and killing myself on a treadmill.
I do wish that adults didn't feel free to let their feelings show though. I self-monitor my opinions about the stupid things I hear people talking about at the office and other places all the time.
Haven't you ever noticed that no matter how old we get sometimes its like the whole human community is still like third grade? Office cliques, church politics, NaNaNaaaNuNaNa etc. etc. etc.
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Even though I've never been in a real physical fight in my entire life I can play the role like my last name is Ali. I'm sure one day someone will call my bluff and I'll get knocked the freak out but...then I'll have to find something else to do.
Real pretty young women will not be seen with a fat, frumpy ugly person
