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This is one of the IRRESPONSIBLE THINGS I HAVE EVER READ! How can you tell a 17 yo to go get drunk.
Sweetheart DO NOT listen to this GARBAGE! I had the same problems when I started high school. I had attended private school and public school is a whole new animal. I can only imagine how much worse it is in a small town.
Guys your age are vey immature and have their minds on two things: sex and college.
It sounds to me like your private school experience has made you more mature than the guys in your school and they don't know how to handle it. That's why you attract older men. They sense a combination of maturity and naivete, which is every father's nightmare. The good news is when you get to college, you'll find the more mature guys (your age) who will appreciate you and your more mature outlook on life.
In the meantime, you'll probably do better if you were interested in the smarter boys in school. The computer, science chess crew. Those are the future millionaires, btw. And they clean up very nicely in their 20's. The captains of the football rarely end up as anything more than the high school gym teacher with stories of his glory days.
Best of luck.
Well excuse me, Ms. Holier than thou. It's high school. Lighten up. I'm not suggesting she drink till she pukes or gets behind the wheel. Just have a good time and loosen the inhibitions a little. This girl seems awful anxious. A little alcohol can fix that. Sit around by the fire and enjoy where you are at in life. You're only young once. Embrace where you are because there isn't a rewind button. Yes, college kicks the crap out of high school, but while you are there, you might as well have a good time. Dazed and Confused. You should try watching it.
I thought the same thing. Pengirl40, you sound quite level-headed and I'm guessing that you really have it together. Clearly you're capable of a reasonable evaluation of yourself, your context, and those around you. Guys in high school are notoriously immature and, yes, they may just be ones to go for the Barbie look (because that's what everyone around them thinks is attractive and thus it's all they truly know). Don't forget, too, that many guys in high school are hopelessly shy and awkward. There may be a guy or two who have noticed you but could not muster the courage to express an interest (and you may never know who such guys are...or you may learn about their secret crush on you a couple of decades from now at your 20 year reunion).
Why do you attract older men? First, do not underestimate your sex appeal as a young woman. You're no kid anymore. Men in their 30's and 40's may seem old to you, but they're still young enough to be very horny and certainly have their interest piqued by an attractive young woman (especially if, as is often the case, she looks older than 17). Heck, the 72 year old Prime Minister of Italy is currently embroiled in a scandal involving an 18 year old gal. (See: BBC NEWS | Europe | Defiant Berlusconi calm amid storm) Keep in mind, too, that older guys are much more likely to have interests in more diverse appearances than just the Barbie look.
What should you do? Well, I certainly think it would appropriate for you to approach a guy that perhaps you have had your eye on and express an interest in getting to know him (don't always wait for the guy to make the first move). I might also encourage you to think outside of the high school walls -- though school is obviously the social center of your life, there may be other opportunities for you. And just keep in mind that the sad fact is that you simply may not find a suitable guy at Hillbilly High and just bide your time until you go to Big State University, where you will find a much greater diversity (and number) of suitable men.
No 17 yo should be drinking, period and it's irresposivle for you to advise her to drink. "It's high school" is not only an invalid reason to drink, it's the number one reason for her not to. The last reason a person of ANY age should drink is to "loosen the inhibitions". That voice of reason is there for a reason, to keep a person safe and out of trouble.
I feel sorry for a person who has to drink to have a good time. I have fun and enjoy life without having to drink. I did it while I was in high school, college and even while working in the music industry. So yes it is VERY possible to have a good time without drinking.
Don't get me wrong, I have a glass of wine from time to time, but I don't have it to have a good time, I have it while I'm having a good time. There's a difference. She'll be 21 soon and plenty of time to drink...for the right reasons.
Why do you attract older men? First, do not underestimate your sex appeal as a young woman. You're no kid anymore. Men in their 30's and 40's may seem old to you, but they're still young enough to be very horny and certainly have their interest piqued by an attractive young woman (especially if, as is often the case, she looks older than 17).
What should you do? Well, I certainly think it would appropriate for you to approach a guy that perhaps you have had your eye on and express an interest in getting to know him (don't always wait for the guy to make the first move). I might also encourage you to think outside of the high school walls -- though school is obviously the social center of your life, there may be other opportunities for you. And just keep in mind that the sad fact is that you simply may not find a suitable guy at Hillbilly High and just bide your time until you go to Big State University, where you will find a much greater diversity (and number) of suitable men.
This is certainly true. Although I will say from friends that did this in high schook, being 17 yrs old and dating someone in their 30's would be a HUGE mistake. Their interest in you would be mainly sexual, not in your well-being, ie; how you did on finals and certainly not considering the impact that kind of relationship could have on the life of a teenager as opposed to someone older.
Last edited by floridadreamer; 06-07-2009 at 10:18 AM..
Although I will say from friends that did this in high schook, being 17 yrs old and dating someone in their 30's would be a HUGE mistake. Their interest in you would be mainly sexual, not in your well-being, ie; how you did on finals and certainly not considering the impact that kind of relationship would have on the life of a teenager as opposed to someone older.
I agree. She should wait until she's at least 20 to have a torrid sexual affair with an older guy in his 30's or 40's.
1. I think I should say that I'm not an avid drinker by any means, but I have and still do drink occasionally but it's not a routine and it's not in a dangerous environment but rather with friends per se.
2. I'm a very confident person EXCEPT when it comes to any guy that I might have a snippet of an attraction to. If there's zero attraction, then I'm good to go. If there's just a little, I can't help but become a little cold because I don't really know what to do or say.
3. I've met my fair share of college guys and they don't really pay much attention to me either?
1. I think I should say that I'm not an avid drinker by any means, but I have and still do drink occasionally but it's not a routine and it's not in a dangerous environment but rather with friends per se.
2. I'm a very confident person EXCEPT when it comes to any guy that I might have a snippet of an attraction to. If there's zero attraction, then I'm good to go. If there's just a little, I can't help but become a little cold because I don't really know what to do or say.
3. I've met my fair share of college guys and they don't really pay much attention to me either?
No college guy that is a nice guy want much to do with a highschooler.
You are like a baby to them.( No matter what you look like.) I would be VERY cautious of anyone that age that was interested in you. And FYI date rape drugs are easy to hide in drinks. Your friends may not always be watching your cup or you for that matter. I would be extremely cautious in taking such a light tone on this. Plus as an mature adult you should not be getting anyone over 21 in trouble so you can have a drink. They will pay the price for that just as much as you would. Its your life...but just think about that.
1. I think I should say that I'm not an avid drinker by any means, but I have and still do drink occasionally but it's not a routine and it's not in a dangerous environment but rather with friends per se.
No big deal. I find the sermonizing about U.S. teen drinking to be somewhat tedious. The problem with teen drinking is, generally speaking, a lack of moderation and the proclivity to do dangerous things while drunk. Too many teens get WAY too drunk and too many get behind the wheel of a car. Folks of all ages do these things too, but the data bear it out unmistakably: teens do it more. (hence, laws against youth drinking). Avoid these problems and its just really no big deal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pengirl40
2. I'm a very confident person EXCEPT when it comes to any guy that I might have a snippet of an attraction to. If there's zero attraction, then I'm good to go. If there's just a little, I can't help but become a little cold because I don't really know what to do or say.
Being nervous is perfectly normal and understandable; being cold is a HUGE turn off. If you turn icy then you will repel guys and quickly become known as being "bitchy" or "mean." I would urge you to NOT be cold and aloof.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pengirl40
3. I've met my fair share of college guys and they don't really pay much attention to me either?
Why would they? You're still in high school; college guys dating high school gals is generally not done much. If you are moderately attractive and attend a typical large, diverse university, I am very confident that you will likely find a number of men on campus who would find you attractive (and vice versa). You should beware, however, that a lot of college guys can be pretty immature, too...but I don't think it's as bad as high school.
BTW, what kind of relationship are you interested in? A full blown boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? Just casual "seeing each other"/"just hanging out"? Moderator cut: .. That matters a lot too, of course.
Last edited by Keeper; 06-07-2009 at 04:49 PM..
Reason: let's leave sex out of it especially with a minor
Sure. A person posted an anonymous question in a public forum and I provided an anonymous answer. Lighten up, Francis.
Do-wah-diddy...
Ya, dat's right, I got the Stripes reference. Spent most of 3rd grade mimicking it even though it came out I think when I was 4.
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