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Old 06-07-2009, 08:03 AM
 
Location: United Kingdom
8 posts, read 25,057 times
Reputation: 12

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My own situaton with my ex, he was allowed freedom from age 6 he hated his baby brother used to beat him up, his dad left soon as baby brother was born went off with much younger woman. His mother carried the chip to this day, but let my ex and his younger brother do just as they pleased, get into trouble, she'd lie to get them out of it, they would go to parties and drink and be with different girls, the younger brother was Alcholic from mid teens and diabetic from 18. My ex had string of girls none of them stuck with him and he thinks being with prostitutes, only found that out a few years ago, is something to be proud of. He had the same attitude towards women, only good for one thing and treat them like s...t the rest of the time and that includes beating them, humiliating them, putting them through miscarriages etc etc. I was so in love with him in the beginning, did not see the signs, never been told about Domestic Violence but got myself and my son out of the situation and we have been living safe and normal for the past almost 9 months now.

You are right, the nice, good guys are out there and you do find them when you least expect it so I hope to find one in the near future.
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Old 06-07-2009, 09:04 AM
 
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,852 posts, read 10,451,396 times
Reputation: 6670
Quote:
Originally Posted by Interpol76 View Post
Very, and i do mean VERY few men do these things. The fact of the matter is a good portion of women are attracted to guys that do these things. Thus, these sort of guys get recycled over and over again while the honest, loyal guys get to sit and watch.
Good answer! It's interesting that there's also been several threads along the lines of "why are some women attracted to "bad boys"?, etc.

In any case, responsibility cuts both ways, so if we keep "buying lemons" or always getting in "wrecks", maybe it's not really about the "car".
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Old 06-07-2009, 02:25 PM
 
283 posts, read 934,111 times
Reputation: 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by mateo45 View Post
Why? Probably the same reasons some women do bad stuff to men.... selfishness, greed, anger, dependency, fear, whatever. Neither gender has the corner on good or evil, though they might have different ways of expressing those things.
this is what I was thinking, maybe it's a people issue, not a men issue. Women cheat too, being a woman, I can only speak for women, and for myself. I cheated on my 2nd boyfriend with my first because I didn't feel important enough to my 2nd boyfriend. This was just a justification and I know it is a BS excuse. Lie, definately, people lie to cover things up- cheating, excessive drinking, gambling, they lie so they don't have to take responsibility for what they've done. Hit, luckily, I don't have experience with that one.
Not take care of/ pay for thier kids..........this is also beyond my experience. Maybe , regardless of what the situation is with the baby's momma, a man should find a way to get money to her, something......... I don't know, Id , for 1 (not to hyjack the thread) be interested to know more about why men do not pay for thier kids, what do you guys think- or is the answer to all these questions that people do what they want to do?
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Old 06-07-2009, 02:36 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,539,444 times
Reputation: 9174
I don't think you're going to get a loser to actually admit to being a loser. They'll justify it any way they can.
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Old 06-07-2009, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Delaware...Oi
1,293 posts, read 3,188,910 times
Reputation: 547
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
I don't think you're going to get a loser to actually admit to being a loser. They'll justify it any way they can.
That's Mr. Loser thankyousoverymuch, now gimme yer chocolate! You never share, geez.
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Old 06-08-2009, 09:17 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,539,444 times
Reputation: 9174
Quote:
Originally Posted by waynec613 View Post
that's mr. Loser thankyousoverymuch, now gimme yer chocolate! You never share, geez.:d
lol.
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Old 06-08-2009, 09:25 AM
 
Location: New Milford, NJ
1,452 posts, read 3,170,374 times
Reputation: 1016
Quote:
Originally Posted by migee View Post
This is the correct answer.

And, it goes for both men and women.

We are not in a society in which there are forced relationships. People here simply pick the wrong person. They base their choices on looks, money, or other material things, simply not recognizing danger signals.
Well, I agree it is definitely picking the wrong person here (ummm...yeah, hi), but it's not always based on looks/money/material things. I thought my ex had it together, it took me several years to find out he didn't, and as far as why he left, plain and simple he's selfish. Some people are, period. He wanted to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted and the consequences be damned, because he never experienced them anyway, I did as I was picking up the pieces of his mistakes!! He wanted to have 24/7 freedom, but you're a parent 24/7, he never understood that. It's not when it's convenient for you. So that's one thing I can think of for the OP, selfishness?? Immaturity??
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Old 06-08-2009, 09:27 AM
 
Location: New Milford, NJ
1,452 posts, read 3,170,374 times
Reputation: 1016
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimbers64 View Post
My own situaton with my ex, he was allowed freedom from age 6 he hated his baby brother used to beat him up, his dad left soon as baby brother was born went off with much younger woman. His mother carried the chip to this day, but let my ex and his younger brother do just as they pleased, get into trouble, she'd lie to get them out of it, they would go to parties and drink and be with different girls, the younger brother was Alcholic from mid teens and diabetic from 18. My ex had string of girls none of them stuck with him and he thinks being with prostitutes, only found that out a few years ago, is something to be proud of. He had the same attitude towards women, only good for one thing and treat them like s...t the rest of the time and that includes beating them, humiliating them, putting them through miscarriages etc etc. I was so in love with him in the beginning, did not see the signs, never been told about Domestic Violence but got myself and my son out of the situation and we have been living safe and normal for the past almost 9 months now.

You are right, the nice, good guys are out there and you do find them when you least expect it so I hope to find one in the near future.
I'm sorry you went through that and sooo glad you got out...and I hope you do find a nice guy!!! You and your son deserve better!! Best of luck to you!!
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Old 06-08-2009, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,639,854 times
Reputation: 11084
Quote:
Originally Posted by Latrice McCullough View Post
I want a HONEST answer to why men do the things they do to women?
Cheat, lie, hit, walk out, don't take care of children, etc....
I want to hear from the man out there that knows he has done all or some of those things. Why? Of course some women do it too. But I want to hear from MEN ONLY. Honest and STRAIGHT UP.
They aren't men?
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Old 06-08-2009, 02:41 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,301 posts, read 2,109,658 times
Reputation: 749
Cheat - A lot of men can separate sex and intimacy. They sometimes see something they like and just go for it. It's not that they don't like/love you, but man, was that *insert your preference here* hot.

Lie - Usually to stay out of trouble. That and they don't want to give you ammo for future arguments that you'll still use against them in, say, a year from now.

Hit - Scumbags. Plain and simple.

Walk out - Might not know how to break up with you any other way. It's not like talking about it will probably go over well. You'll still likely end up thinking he's a jerk.

Children - Same answer for hitting.
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