Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-07-2009, 12:09 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,515 posts, read 16,125,708 times
Reputation: 8079

Advertisements

As I read some of the threads it's no surprise that some of the posters on Cd are single or don't get asked out on a regular basis( at least once a year....LOL).

Sure, we all like what we like. At that's just that but when you get to a point to where you're just looking at very minor things that don't "measure up" to your so-called standards it's time to look in the mirror.


Folks, if you're talking about meeting a high quality person that's awesome, it takes time. It requires being open minded and being flexable. Stop with all of your high standards and being a nit-picker and maybe just maybe you might find yourself involved with a great person.

Some things we just will not accept. For me, it's women with children BUT beyond that that I am pretty much open to any age and any race.


My question...........are you being realistic about what it is you have to offer and what it is that you're looking for?


When I say what you have to offer I am not talking about your job title, whether you're a home owner or not and lord knows I am not talking about your "good looks". If that's what you thought, don't wonder why you're single.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-07-2009, 12:17 AM
 
Location: Delaware...Oi
1,293 posts, read 3,181,885 times
Reputation: 547
Let me just start out by saying:

*burp*

<insert indignant counter-point here>. <minor self-reflection here>. <good for goose should be good for gander point here>.

That is all...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 12:18 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,515 posts, read 16,125,708 times
Reputation: 8079
Ok.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Waynec613 View Post
Let me just start out by saying:

*burp*

<insert indignant counter-point here>. <minor self-reflection here>. <good for goose should be good for gander point here>.

That is all...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 01:07 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 87,916,249 times
Reputation: 22814
I've no problem with being single. I would be nice to have somebody who makes me tick ONLY, but it's not essential. If anything interesting comes along - great; if not - fine again. I've no need to yawn with another human being, be repulsed by another human being, or be annoyed by another human being. Same goes for non-human beings.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 01:14 AM
 
Location: Delaware...Oi
1,293 posts, read 3,181,885 times
Reputation: 547
Damn humanists! What about us wolf-shirt wearers with 150lbs extra weight, lip-moles, 12 kids, a blind-eye, 4'6, rolling around in a 'rascal', are WE not good enough?! gosh.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 01:43 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 40,914,432 times
Reputation: 13465
Quote:
Originally Posted by Waynec613 View Post
Damn humanists! What about us wolf-shirt wearers with 150lbs extra weight, lip-moles, 12 kids, a blind-eye, 4'6, rolling around in a 'rascal', are WE not good enough?! gosh.
You are TOTALLY my type, Wayne!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 02:01 AM
 
Location: Delaware...Oi
1,293 posts, read 3,181,885 times
Reputation: 547
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
You are TOTALLY my type, Wayne!
Don't tease me now, I'll back over your pinky-toe if you break my heart.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 02:55 AM
 
Location: The O.C.--Soon, ATL
670 posts, read 2,108,828 times
Reputation: 654
It's that Wolf shirt, Wayne. The ladies can't resist it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 03:45 AM
 
Location: The O.C.--Soon, ATL
670 posts, read 2,108,828 times
Reputation: 654
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron. View Post
As I read some of the threads it's no surprise that some of the posters on Cd are single or don't get asked out on a regular basis( at least once a year....LOL).

Sure, we all like what we like. At that's just that but when you get to a point to where you're just looking at very minor things that don't "measure up" to your so-called standards it's time to look in the mirror.


Folks, if you're talking about meeting a high quality person that's awesome, it takes time. It requires being open minded and being flexable. Stop with all of your high standards and being a nit-picker and maybe just maybe you might find yourself involved with a great person.

Some things we just will not accept. For me, it's women with children BUT beyond that that I am pretty much open to any age and any race.


My question...........are you being realistic about what it is you have to offer and what it is that you're looking for?


When I say what you have to offer I am not talking about your job title, whether you're a home owner or not and lord knows I am not talking about your "good looks". If that's what you thought, don't wonder why you're single.
I think about this a lot. I think I give everyone I meet an honest assessment and adjust my standards a little each time. I've thought about dating someone who I wasn't physically that attracted to, but who was a very nice, decent person. I considered at least dating him and seeing if the attraction grew. As it turned out, he decided I wasn't religious enough since I wasn't willing to guarantee I could attend his church regularly (that I had yet to even try and wasn't familiar with) and opted to try to forge a relationship with a friend he'd known for six years. I would have dated a guy that happened to be a recovering alcoholic (not an issue for me, but something some people wouldn't consider, I guess) and who had some financial issues, but he wasn't over a past relationship. I've been willing to be in a long distance relationship, at least for a while and see where it goes, but that's something not many guys will even consider, not that I blame them.

I don't have a laundry list of expectations and dealbreakers. As long as the men are basically caring, decent people and there's some chemistry there, I try not to be too picky or let little things bother me. I feel like I might miss out on someone who turns out to be really great if I don't take the time to actually get to know them. You can't find out who people are on a couple dates. I know men can't figure me out on a couple dates either, but sometimes that's all the time you get.

But most times, it's not up to me to make that decision as to whether a relationship is possible or not. I'm pretty certain I can't have children without major fertility intervention and that crosses me off the list for a lot of guys. Most of the men who have asked me out in the last six months are between 35-40 and it doesn't seem to be my age so much that's a deterrent, as the doubt I could have a child. Even men in their late 40s, early 50s, who already have kids from a previous marriage still envision having another one in a new relationship.

There's no way I can guarantee this, no matter what method I were to try, and I'd be willing to try harvesting eggs or whatever might work. It's one of the reasons I stopped dating in my thirties; it was a built in dealbreaker for a lot of men, and the rejection just got to be too painful. If I didn't want kids, it wouldn't hurt so much, but I did want to have them. Even though it's not my fault, it makes me feel bad about myself sometimes. So even if I'm openminded and fairly accepting of men and some of their flaws, the fact that I'm "defective" in this area isn't something most guys are going to overlook. So I am being realistic about what I have to offer, but it can be a harsh reality sometimes.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-07-2009, 01:54 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,489,321 times
Reputation: 9174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron. View Post
Folks, if you're talking about meeting a high quality person that's awesome, it takes time. It requires being open minded and being flexable. Stop with all of your high standards and being a nit-picker and maybe just maybe you might find yourself involved with a great person.
What would you consider high-standards and nit-picking? Just curious.

Quote:
My question...........are you being realistic about what it is you have to offer and what it is that you're looking for?
You are asking, but our answers may not be in line with yours. It is all in how you view it, yes?

To me, I am one of a dying breed. I have a lot to offer the right man; fidelity, honor, loyalty, intelligent conversation, comedy, a compassionate ear, alone time, an open mind, a clean home, great cooking and lots of "creativity". I'd say I am offering a lot more than most are capable nowadays. So, I know there is someone out there who will appreciate it.

Quote:
When I say what you have to offer I am not talking about your job title, whether you're a home owner or not and lord knows I am not talking about your "good looks". If that's what you thought, don't wonder why you're single.
I agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I've no problem with being single. I would be nice to have somebody who makes me tick ONLY, but it's not essential. If anything interesting comes along - great; if not - fine again. I've no need to yawn with another human being, be repulsed by another human being, or be annoyed by another human being. Same goes for non-human beings.
You rock. I agree 150%.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top