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Old 05-17-2012, 12:48 PM
 
3,588 posts, read 5,726,959 times
Reputation: 4791

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beautifulbrwnbabydoll View Post
I have been trying to set my good friend up with a guy that I know. He is a really nice guy, He is good looking with a terrific body, he does not have children, he does not do drugs, and he has a job and college experience. The only thing is that right now he lives with his mom. He moved in with his mom to save some money and he is working towards moving out.

So I told her all of this, and she said it was o.k. for him to call her, and he called her the day before yesterday. When I talked to her about him today, I asked her was she going to call him back, and she said she was, but I could tell in her voice that she really didn't want to. To make a long story short, I asked her why she didn't want to call him, and she said that it's cause he lives with his mom...and basically he is beneath her.

I was really upset with her about this, and i wonder how many women think like this! If it were me and I saw that they guy had goals and was working toward something I would give him a shot. She won't even give the guy the time of day based on one temporary situation. IMO, it's a shame and I am starting to feel sorry for some of the guys out here that can't even get a chance to be with someone unless they are totally perfect. She is a total B#$%h!!
Isn't the name calling a little premature? There's nothing wrong with a woman being cautious towards a situation like that. I would count it as a red flag. There is a slight chance he is a mama's boy and men like that can't figure out how to make relationships work because mama is right there, sabotaging everything so she can keep him for herself. So don't try to pretend this doesn't happen because based on what I've read on C-D it absolutely does.
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Old 05-17-2012, 02:16 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,022 posts, read 2,272,736 times
Reputation: 2168
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
No, I wouldn't. I happen to think guys should move out much sooner than women. By 20-21 years old they should be living on their own. A lot of the men on here are selling some good stories, about how they make 6 figures yet still live at home. yeah sure ::rolls eyes:: I don't know any adult who has that much money who wouldn't want to live on their own and enjoy their freedom. Nobody wants to date a momma's boy
How do you figure some kids can move out when they either are at home going to college because they can only afford a school close or they just can not plain afford to move out. We are living in a time when rents are high wages low and you expect them out by 20-21? Wow you are not living in reality.
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Old 05-17-2012, 02:31 PM
 
900 posts, read 1,701,756 times
Reputation: 489
I wouldn't have a problem with it , depends why. Everyone is entitled to thier dealbreakers.
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Old 05-17-2012, 02:45 PM
 
566 posts, read 958,067 times
Reputation: 545
To be fair, women who conclude that they would never date a guy who still lives at home are dumb. Every situation is different and everyones circumstances are different. Me personally, I no longer rush to conclusions if someone (over the age of, say, 25) tells me they still live at home because I've encountered a few guys, all in the 28-33 age range, who still lived at home. One was taking care of a dying parent, another had just graduated from a top 50 law school and was looking for work (this was around when the economy tanked), and the other was attending medical school and wanted to save money (as opposed to paying for rent/utilities).

Just goes to show that immediate conclusions should never be made.
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Old 05-17-2012, 02:48 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,288 posts, read 87,391,501 times
Reputation: 55562
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
I have looked into this topic and I have come to the conclusion that moving away from the people that love you the most is a North American middle/upper middle class mindset which largely evolved from the industrial age where people left the farms in search of work in the city. As a matter of fact, this is going on in China right now where thousands of young Chinese people are leaving the countryside to make a living (if you want to call it that) making shoes, cell phones and other appliances for the rest of the world. China is going through one of the largest migrations ever.


Anyhow, what Americans fail to realize is that life would be much easier and wealth would be more easily obtained if whole family/community would work together to support each other instead of the vicious cycle where each generation pays thousands of dollars for common knowledge and thousands more for a home that largely remains unoccupied because they are working.



Trust me, it's no coincidence that "the powers that be" have instilled into the masses the belief that young children need to leave home at 18 because if that were not the case the economy would be much smaller as nobody would be buying the appliances for the apartment, the military would have a much harder time recruiting, and corporations would have a much harder time finding young workers to exploit.


the OP is would u date a man that lives w his mother.
then the book--- 1168 pages of utter baloney, atlas shrugged; got thrown in.
its a book diefying industrialists and engineers recommended to me by an engineer i dearly love. it also demonizes blue collar people and gov workers.
i choked on it bek in am in group #2.
what does the unemployed kidult sponging off his parents have to do with a gal looking for a solid mate unless she is looking for mom and pop to set another plate at the table.
?????
time to kick the birds out of the nest they can fly and know how to get food. lets take another look at american parenting shall we?
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Old 05-17-2012, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Midwest
2,953 posts, read 5,118,729 times
Reputation: 1972
Quote:
Originally Posted by matt1984 View Post
How do you figure some kids can move out when they either are at home going to college because they can only afford a school close or they just can not plain afford to move out. We are living in a time when rents are high wages low and you expect them out by 20-21? Wow you are not living in reality.
live on campus. dorm rooms. And a part time job. A man that is 21+ should be independent and living on his own. That's why there are so many guys out there right now who don't even have basic things like an apartment, car, or job. Can't even afford to buy a box of condoms if they want to get laid.
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Old 05-17-2012, 03:14 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,022 posts, read 2,272,736 times
Reputation: 2168
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
live on campus. dorm rooms. And a part time job. A man that is 21+ should be independent and living on his own. That's why there are so many guys out there right now who don't even have basic things like an apartment, car, or job. Can't even afford to buy a box of condoms if they want to get laid.

Living in dorms is expensive and what if you are going to community college how you gonna afford an apartment and college tuition? So you know all these guys out there and why they do not have these things right? Why at 21 should they be independent? Why that age? Just because you believe people should be on their own at 21 does not mean it is right for everyone.
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Old 05-17-2012, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
live on campus. dorm rooms. And a part time job. A man that is 21+ should be independent and living on his own. That's why there are so many guys out there right now who don't even have basic things like an apartment, car, or job. Can't even afford to buy a box of condoms if they want to get laid.
Most community colleges don't have dorms (at least none that I've seen in Virginia or Kentucky) and good luck paying rent among other things on a part-time salary (if you can get a job.)
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Old 05-17-2012, 05:20 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,200 posts, read 18,370,760 times
Reputation: 6655
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
live on campus. dorm rooms. And a part time job. A man that is 21+ should be independent and living on his own. That's why there are so many guys out there right now who don't even have basic things like an apartment, car, or job. Can't even afford to buy a box of condoms if they want to get laid.
So you'd rather have a man who struggles to make it and probably screws up his credit in the process rather than deal with a guy who lived with his mom?

My bf was 27 and living with his parents AND grandma when I met him. They'd turned his apts into condos so he'd lost his place. Rentals are extremely high around here. He had a year and a half of grad school and his parents didn't want him to get off focus. So he moved back home, he's graduates this December and he's saved quite a bit of money and is looking into buying a duplex.

When we wanted some privacy we went out of town or checked into hotels. Its not like we sleep in the bed with his parents.
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Old 05-17-2012, 07:27 PM
 
Location: PA
2,113 posts, read 2,405,303 times
Reputation: 5471
There's a difference between "a man living with his mother" and "a man who has his mother living with him". The first one doesn't appeal to me at all. The second I can handle, depending on the mother-son relationship.

I know that every situation is different, but the two times that I did have long-term relationships with guys that still lived at home, both times it was a total "failure to launch" situation. The first guy is 38, still lives at home with his parents, with a kid or two. Not too long ago, he happened to be at one of my hang-out spots, bragging to someone how good he has it because he has no bills or responsibilities. The other one is 35, did move out, but has his mother come over to help him with domestic chores. I think it's important for me to bring up that both mothers have health problems, yet these adult sons still expect help. No way am I raising a grown man.

Even a situation where a son is at home to save money - well, look, life isn't supposed to be easy. I have been living on my own for the past 18 years. Yes, I've made sacrifices, but I've learned resilience, delayed gratification, and financial management along the way. I would want someone that shares my values, because I will not settle for less than an equal partnership, two people working together for the same goals.
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