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Old 05-18-2012, 08:37 AM
 
156 posts, read 317,998 times
Reputation: 228

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Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
If you date a guy who is a student living at home, don't get serious until he moves out his parents' home. The problem with a guy out of college, late twenties are older is that living with a doting mother skews his view of what a relationship with a future mate is supposed to be. He's got doting momma, right there, telling him what a catch he is and how he can't trust any woman except her. A man who's been fed that garbage several years is gonna be spoiled, entitled and impossible to get along with. As I said in an earlier post, it's a RED FLAG.
For the record, everyone's situation is different. Just because this has been your experience one or two times does not mean that this is the rule for every single guy that lives with his mother or parents in general. With the terrible economy, both men and women are being forced to move back home because of either a job loss or not being able to find a job in general. Stop being so damn judgmental. One of these days it could be you forced to live at home, and that humble pie won't be tasting so good then.
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Old 05-18-2012, 08:42 AM
 
3,588 posts, read 5,726,959 times
Reputation: 4791
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soilworker1986 View Post
For the record, everyone's situation is different. Just because this has been your experience one or two times does not mean that this is the rule for every single guy that lives with his mother or parents in general. With the terrible economy, both men and women are being forced to move back home because of either a job loss or not being able to find a job in general. Stop being so damn judgmental. One of these days it could be you forced to live at home, and that humble pie won't be tasting so good then.
I'm not being judgemental, I'm being honest. Women get enough candycoating and bullsh*t out there dealing with guys, why should I add to it? Like another poster said, everybody has it tough. It's just that some people try to take the easy way out and then pat themselves on the back, calling themselves smart for doing it. And they're not.
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Old 05-18-2012, 09:12 AM
 
156 posts, read 317,998 times
Reputation: 228
Yeah ok sure

Just curious, would you say the same thing about a woman who lived with her mother or father?
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Old 05-18-2012, 09:55 AM
 
409 posts, read 497,639 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
I'm not being judgemental, I'm being honest. Women get enough candycoating and bullsh*t out there dealing with guys, why should I add to it? Like another poster said, everybody has it tough. It's just that some people try to take the easy way out and then pat themselves on the back, calling themselves smart for doing it. And they're not.
Lol.. how is taking the easy way out not smart.
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Old 05-18-2012, 10:15 AM
 
3,588 posts, read 5,726,959 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soilworker1986 View Post
Yeah ok sure

Just curious, would you say the same thing about a woman who lived with her mother or father?
If it renders her an emotional cripple, unable to deal with an adult responsbilities in a grownup intimate relationship, YES.
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Old 05-18-2012, 10:22 AM
 
3,588 posts, read 5,726,959 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ByronicCoward View Post
Lol.. how is taking the easy way out not smart.
It's kind of pitiful, actually. We have a couple generations of people, afraid of challenges, afraid of adult responsibility and a huge sense of entitlement that they should be shielded from all the storms that occur within the life of a normal adult. These same people will go and live with their parents (or "off of them" if you prefer) and then when their mother and father is old, or broke or sick will rationalize not commiting to caring for them in their old age. It's kind of disgusting. Whatever happened to standing on one's own two feet? If you had a house or a luxe appointment and you have to downsize to a studio apartment or God forbid, sell your belongings and get a furnished room until you work to improve your prospects, what's wrong with that?

It may not be as comfortable as moving in on your parents (and putting a crimp in their style after they've worked hard to raise you) but it would build a little character and that might translate into a little bit more confidence in your ability to make it on your own. Which is very attractive to the opposite sex.
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Old 05-18-2012, 11:14 AM
 
156 posts, read 317,998 times
Reputation: 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
It's kind of pitiful, actually. We have a couple generations of people, afraid of challenges, afraid of adult responsibility and a huge sense of entitlement that they should be shielded from all the storms that occur within the life of a normal adult. These same people will go and live with their parents (or "off of them" if you prefer) and then when their mother and father is old, or broke or sick will rationalize not commiting to caring for them in their old age. It's kind of disgusting. Whatever happened to standing on one's own two feet? If you had a house or a luxe appointment and you have to downsize to a studio apartment or God forbid, sell your belongings and get a furnished room until you work to improve your prospects, what's wrong with that?

It may not be as comfortable as moving in on your parents (and putting a crimp in their style after they've worked hard to raise you) but it would build a little character and that might translate into a little bit more confidence in your ability to make it on your own. Which is very attractive to the opposite sex.
Again, everyone's situation is different and different people deal with their situations in different ways. No one is saying anything's wrong with doing as you described above if they have the means to do so. But sometimes, moving back in with your parents after a job loss or divorce to help yourself get back on your feet finance-wise is the smart thing to do, and provided the parents are cool with it, the person in question is not mooching off his parents, and has no intention of making it permanent, why should they be looked down upon or care if some self-righteous internet poster tries to criticize them?
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Old 05-18-2012, 01:32 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,022 posts, read 2,272,736 times
Reputation: 2168
Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
It's kind of pitiful, actually. We have a couple generations of people, afraid of challenges, afraid of adult responsibility and a huge sense of entitlement that they should be shielded from all the storms that occur within the life of a normal adult. These same people will go and live with their parents (or "off of them" if you prefer) and then when their mother and father is old, or broke or sick will rationalize not commiting to caring for them in their old age. It's kind of disgusting. Whatever happened to standing on one's own two feet? If you had a house or a luxe appointment and you have to downsize to a studio apartment or God forbid, sell your belongings and get a furnished room until you work to improve your prospects, what's wrong with that?

It may not be as comfortable as moving in on your parents (and putting a crimp in their style after they've worked hard to raise you) but it would build a little character and that might translate into a little bit more confidence in your ability to make it on your own. Which is very attractive to the opposite sex.
Who says that people who living at home are afraid of challenges, adult responsibility or have entitlement. Way to overgeneralize! Again who said just because you live at home you are not standing on your feet just like just because you do not live with your parents does not mean you you can stand on your own two feet. It could build character and give you confidence on living on your own or it could led to living paycheck to paycheck, living in a dangerous neighborhood or being homeless. Do you not realize that the economy is bad, prices are high and wages low?
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Old 05-18-2012, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,844 posts, read 13,230,922 times
Reputation: 9247
When I met my husband he was still living with his parents. It didn't even phase me because my brother lived at home until he got married (he was in his 30's). If I was at hubby's place, his parents gave us privacy. They didn't barge in or wonder what was going on. He went out and came home whenever he pleased. Same with my brother. He had his privacy and no one stopped him from going out or anything. Before we got married, my in-laws retired and they moved out of state. That's when hubby got his own apartment. My brother moved out when he got married.

Now, if the parents are lingering around and there's zero privacy then maybe it's a problem but I wouldn't say the guy isn't dateable.
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,162 posts, read 3,364,488 times
Reputation: 2210
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soilworker1986 View Post
For the record, everyone's situation is different. Just because this has been your experience one or two times does not mean that this is the rule for every single guy that lives with his mother or parents in general. With the terrible economy, both men and women are being forced to move back home because of either a job loss or not being able to find a job in general. Stop being so damn judgmental. One of these days it could be you forced to live at home, and that humble pie won't be tasting so good then.
Statistically speaking, grown men who cohabitate with one or both parents are much more inclined to entitlistic and unaccountable behaviors.
Is it true in every single case? Of course not.
And I do not believe anyone, regardless of economic circumstance, is forced to do anything. Personal accountability is, albeit, all but lost anymore, but when I lost my job in my mid-30's, I did not run back home. I figured it out.
It was not judgmental of the poster you slammed.
The people who succeed are never the ones who quit and take the easy way out.
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