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Old 05-18-2012, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,162 posts, read 3,364,488 times
Reputation: 2210

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Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
I'm not being judgemental, I'm being honest. Women get enough candycoating and bullsh*t out there dealing with guys, why should I add to it? Like another poster said, everybody has it tough. It's just that some people try to take the easy way out and then pat themselves on the back, calling themselves smart for doing it. And they're not.
Ha! I just said the same thing to this guy.
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by redvelvet709 View Post
Statistically speaking, grown men who cohabitate with one or both parents are much more inclined to entitlistic and unaccountable behaviors.
Is it true in every single case? Of course not.
And I do not believe anyone, regardless of economic circumstance, is forced to do anything. Personal accountability is, albeit, all but lost anymore, but when I lost my job in my mid-30's, I did not run back home. I figured it out.
It was not judgmental of the poster you slammed.
The people who succeed are never the ones who quit and take the easy way out.
No one is forced to do anything. However, if you are down on your luck, and I mean about to starve, and you are offered help by your parents I don't think you should be looked down upon for taking help that is offered to you when you are in dire straits.

I'm facing layoff from my current job and it makes zero sense to renew my lease. So my mother offered me to move back into her house temporarily. I think I'm making a reasonable decision to move back in to save money while I hunt for work in Virginia. I help her out with housework and errands, she helps me by letting me stay there which I think is a fair exchange. I don't look at my situation as a easy way out, I look at it as the best decision I can make for my circumstances.
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:25 PM
 
156 posts, read 317,998 times
Reputation: 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
No one is forced to do anything. However, if you are down on your luck, and I mean about to starve, and you are offered help by your parents I don't think you should be looked down upon for taking help that is offered to you when you are in dire straits.

I'm facing layoff from my current job and it makes zero sense to renew my lease. So my mother offered me to move back into her house temporarily. I think I'm making a reasonable decision to move back in to save money while I hunt for work in Virginia. I help her out with housework and errands, she helps me by letting me stay there which I think is a fair exchange. I don't look at my situation as a easy way out, I look at it as the best decision I can make for my circumstances.
^^This times a thousand.


You don't think the people that moved home after a job loss are trying to figure it out? Maybe, just maybe, they're trying to get finances in order so they can have their own place again. I don't consider that taking the easy way out or quitting. And sorry, to me it does seem pretty damn judgmental to more or less label adults living at home as being quitters or having "mommy" issues. While you're at it, show me these "statistics" that supposedly show that men who live with their parents are more prone to being entitled or unaccountable.

Last edited by Soilworker1986; 05-18-2012 at 03:28 PM..
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Old 05-18-2012, 03:30 PM
 
3,588 posts, read 5,726,959 times
Reputation: 4791
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soilworker1986 View Post
Again, everyone's situation is different and different people deal with their situations in different ways. No one is saying anything's wrong with doing as you described above if they have the means to do so. But sometimes, moving back in with your parents after a job loss or divorce to help yourself get back on your feet finance-wise is the smart thing to do, and provided the parents are cool with it, the person in question is not mooching off his parents, and has no intention of making it permanent, why should they be looked down upon or care if some self-righteous internet poster tries to criticize them?
There must be some reason you are calling me names for expressing my opinion. If you are not the person/people I describe, if you're not guilty of selfish intentions towards your parents or wrongfully imposing upon them, then, why the attack?
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Old 05-18-2012, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
There must be some reason you are calling me names for expressing my opinion. If you are not the person/people I describe, if you're not guilty of selfish intentions towards your parents or wrongfully imposing upon them, then, why the attack?
Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61
It's kind of pitiful, actually. We have a couple generations of people, afraid of challenges, afraid of adult responsibility and a huge sense of entitlement that they should be shielded from all the storms that occur within the life of a normal adult. These same people will go and live with their parents (or "off of them" if you prefer) and then when their mother and father is old, or broke or sick will rationalize not commiting to caring for them in their old age. It's kind of disgusting. Whatever happened to standing on one's own two feet? If you had a house or a luxe appointment and you have to downsize to a studio apartment or God forbid, sell your belongings and get a furnished room until you work to improve your prospects, what's wrong with that?

It may not be as comfortable as moving in on your parents (and putting a crimp in their style after they've worked hard to raise you) but it would build a little character and that might translate into a little bit more confidence in your ability to make it on your own. Which is very attractive to the opposite sex.
This would likely imply younger folks such as myself. Usually the case when someone shames a whole generation these days.
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Old 05-18-2012, 03:38 PM
 
3,588 posts, read 5,726,959 times
Reputation: 4791
Quote:
Originally Posted by matt1984 View Post
Who says that people who living at home are afraid of challenges, adult responsibility or have entitlement. Way to overgeneralize! Again who said just because you live at home you are not standing on your feet just like just because you do not live with your parents does not mean you you can stand on your own two feet. It could build character and give you confidence on living on your own or it could led to living paycheck to paycheck, living in a dangerous neighborhood or being homeless. Do you not realize that the economy is bad, prices are high and wages low?
This is not directed at people who move in with their parents, pay their fair share, do their fair share and avoid putting inconvenience and hardship on their parents. Almost all I am receiving are defensive responses, and I am just pointing out a fact for some. And if you're scuffling along, and refuse to drag your parents into the problems of your adult life, one IS in fact standing on their own two feet. I did it. I'm glad I handled it the way I did. I got more respect from my parents for it, too.
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Old 05-18-2012, 04:13 PM
 
3,588 posts, read 5,726,959 times
Reputation: 4791
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
This would likely imply younger folks such as myself. Usually the case when someone shames a whole generation these days.
If you're self sufficient, self-supporting I don't understand why someone would take it as my "shaming" If they're not doing it, there is a chance they have buddies or classmates that are doing exactly what I describe. What about young people bitter towards boomers and elders over Social Security? These young people attempt to shame their elders about the state of Social Security. And in some cases, these young people are recipients of Supplemental Security Income--it is taken DIRECTLY from the Social Security coffers.
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Old 05-18-2012, 06:13 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,191 posts, read 107,809,412 times
Reputation: 116087
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beautifulbrwnbabydoll View Post
I have been trying to set my good friend up with a guy that I know. He is a really nice guy, He is good looking with a terrific body, he does not have children, he does not do drugs, and he has a job and college experience. The only thing is that right now he lives with his mom. He moved in with his mom to save some money and he is working towards moving out.

So I told her all of this, and she said it was o.k. for him to call her, and he called her the day before yesterday. When I talked to her about him today, I asked her was she going to call him back, and she said she was, but I could tell in her voice that she really didn't want to. To make a long story short, I asked her why she didn't want to call him, and she said that it's cause he lives with his mom...and basically he is beneath her.

I was really upset with her about this, and i wonder how many women think like this! If it were me and I saw that they guy had goals and was working toward something I would give him a shot. She won't even give the guy the time of day based on one temporary situation. IMO, it's a shame and I am starting to feel sorry for some of the guys out here that can't even get a chance to be with someone unless they are totally perfect. She is a total B#$%h!!
Total honesty? If the guy were someone who's lived with his mom much of his adult life, then, no. If he's like your friend, and temporarily moved in with his mom to help reach some financial and life goals? Probably yes, depends on the guy. "Great body", haha, that's such a "guy" thing to say! Women want to know about his personality! Is he highly intelligent? Kind? Mellow, no anger issues? That sort of thing.
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Old 05-18-2012, 07:14 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,200 posts, read 18,370,760 times
Reputation: 6655
I think it's hilarious that its more admirable to struggle and scrap by rather than go to a stable situation and regroup to give yourself a better foundation. Making sound decisions based on financial circumstances is "take the easy way out" lol I guess at the end of the day when you're sitting in a roach infested apt in the middle of a shady area eating a bowl of ramen noodles you can feel proud that you're spending all your money on this hellhhole. Congrats to you!
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Old 05-18-2012, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Planet Earth, USA
1,704 posts, read 2,323,283 times
Reputation: 3492
OK, there is a difference from an adult living with BOTH parents, who came from a decent family, went to college, live in a state where houses are MORE than affordable and have mom cook, clean and wash their clothes.

THAN someone who lives with a single parent where there was a divorce, seperation or some kind of abuse going on where the parent lives with the daughter or son.

Stop being so judgemental without knowing all the circumstances. If that isn't your cup of tea then DON'T date them!
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