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Old 05-18-2012, 08:27 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,191 posts, read 107,809,412 times
Reputation: 116087

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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
No one is forced to do anything. However, if you are down on your luck, and I mean about to starve, and you are offered help by your parents I don't think you should be looked down upon for taking help that is offered to you when you are in dire straits.

I'm facing layoff from my current job and it makes zero sense to renew my lease. So my mother offered me to move back into her house temporarily. I think I'm making a reasonable decision to move back in to save money while I hunt for work in Virginia. I help her out with housework and errands, she helps me by letting me stay there which I think is a fair exchange. I don't look at my situation as a easy way out, I look at it as the best decision I can make for my circumstances.
I agree; the times being what they are, women should cut guys some slack who have to retreat to their parents' home until they find a new job. Women are having to make that choice, too, so what's the big deal? But...old stereotypes and expectations die hard. That's the rub. The man as breadwinner, economic pillar of the family, the woman's rock, Mr. Dependable. That's what you guys are up against.
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Old 06-08-2012, 12:56 PM
 
1,523 posts, read 1,953,625 times
Reputation: 2662
I know a 36yo man who lives with his mom. He is employed and is a decent, responsible guy. I'd cut him a break.
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Old 06-08-2012, 01:06 PM
 
1,922 posts, read 3,984,807 times
Reputation: 1342
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikake View Post
I know a 36yo man who lives with his mom. He is employed and is a decent, responsible guy. I'd cut him a break.
That's my current boyfriend. And in the thread I posted everyone told me to break up with him.
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Old 06-08-2012, 01:09 PM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,299,494 times
Reputation: 5372
Quote:
Originally Posted by nj21 View Post
That's my current boyfriend. And in the thread I posted everyone told me to break up with him.
Unless he is ill himself, his mother/father/brother etc are ill, he is unempolyed, etc he shouldnt be living with his parents IMO. If it's a choice and not a nesseaity its A PROBLEM.
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Old 06-08-2012, 01:14 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,448,003 times
Reputation: 9548
as a 30ish year old male and im not sure why i would want to live at home if i could provide for myself... im not sure what the point of it would be if i was not getting something from the situation like meals being made, laundry being done for me, less bills to pay etc etc

you have to be getting SOMETHING form that situation to want to be in it.

i love my mother but i could never put her through that, even if she wanted me to be there.

the only situation i could see myself letting this happen in is if i was takiing care of her and she needed to be moved into my home for the care of her to be at a satisfactory level.
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Old 06-08-2012, 01:18 PM
 
1,922 posts, read 3,984,807 times
Reputation: 1342
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Unless he is ill himself, his mother/father/brother etc are ill, he is unempolyed, etc he shouldnt be living with his parents IMO. If it's a choice and not a nesseaity its A PROBLEM.
He's not applicable to all of the above. Although he recently went on Workman's Comp for a work-related injury.

I'm starting to think he is a little off. He mentioned he has to be careful since he is accepting Workman's Comp since his company is always watching what he does.

Maybe that's why he lives at him. He is emotionally unstable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123 View Post
as a 30ish year old male and im not sure why i would want to live at home if i could provide for myself... im not sure what the point of it would be if i was not getting soemthing from the situation like meals being made or laundry being done for me.

i love my mother but i could never put her through that, even if she wanted me to be there
I wish I knew more guys like you. Most of the guys I know, even friends still live at home.
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Old 06-08-2012, 01:28 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,448,003 times
Reputation: 9548
most of the younger guys i know that still live at home have totally unrealistic expectations leading to their extended stays.

it goes from i just want to finish school to, i have too much debt and cant afford it to, i dont have the job i want yet / i cant find a job in my chossen field to, ill be lonley if i move out on my own....it starts with a fear of the unknown and continues into one excuse after they other until its just whats normal for both their familiy and their life.

they get everything they want from home and never want to leave unless the situation is picture perfect.

Last edited by rego00123; 06-08-2012 at 01:30 PM.. Reason: hotel interent is killing my ablity to post properly
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Old 06-08-2012, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Idaho
812 posts, read 736,367 times
Reputation: 1606
I feel the need to add my personal experiences to this discussion.

I am 23 years old and live with my mother in a two bedroom apartment. My father died when I was 16 years old, and she could not afford to make the payments on our house so we moved here. She does not make a lot of money(around $20,000 a year) and cannot afford the bills for this place on her own. I make a little less and pay half of the rent, plus the gas bill, insurance for both of our cars, and renters insurance. She pays the other half of the rent, plus the electric and internet bills. I also have a car payment of $175 a month.

I am steadily working towards a college degree, but at a very slow pace, I refuse to take out loans, I have too many friends sitting jobless with $70,000+ in student loan debt right now. I have been rejected for financial aid repeatedly because I am not a full-time student. If I were a full time student, I would not be able to work as much, and I am barely making enough to pay my share now. It will get a little easier next year when my car is fully paid off, but it will still be tight.

So is there something wrong with me for living with my mother? She has a boyfriend now and is only home maybe two nights a week, so at times it is like living on my own. I buy all of my own food and pay my own way in the world. I could possibly move into a smaller place on my own, but a quick internet search right now tells me that the cheapest I could hope for in my area is $595 a month for a 1 bedroom apartment. That is $7,140 a year, and I made $17,000 last year before taxes. Possibly doable once my car is paid off, and something I will no doubt look into, because I do want a place of my own.

So am i pathetic for living with my mother? Some women will no doubt think so. The way I see it, I've done the best I could with the cards I was dealt. If a woman wants to judge me without knowing the whole story, then I am better off without her in my life.
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Old 06-08-2012, 01:54 PM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,299,494 times
Reputation: 5372
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish Taco64 View Post
I feel the need to add my personal experiences to this discussion.

I am 23 years old and live with my mother in a two bedroom apartment. My father died when I was 16 years old, and she could not afford to make the payments on our house so we moved here. She does not make a lot of money(around $20,000 a year) and cannot afford the bills for this place on her own. I make a little less and pay half of the rent, plus the gas bill, insurance for both of our cars, and renters insurance. She pays the other half of the rent, plus the electric and internet bills. I also have a car payment of $175 a month.

I am steadily working towards a college degree, but at a very slow pace, I refuse to take out loans, I have too many friends sitting jobless with $70,000+ in student loan debt right now. I have been rejected for financial aid repeatedly because I am not a full-time student. If I were a full time student, I would not be able to work as much, and I am barely making enough to pay my share now. It will get a little easier next year when my car is fully paid off, but it will still be tight.

So is there something wrong with me for living with my mother? She has a boyfriend now and is only home maybe two nights a week, so at times it is like living on my own. I buy all of my own food and pay my own way in the world. I could possibly move into a smaller place on my own, but a quick internet search right now tells me that the cheapest I could hope for in my area is $595 a month for a 1 bedroom apartment. That is $7,140 a year, and I made $17,000 last year before taxes. Possibly doable once my car is paid off, and something I will no doubt look into, because I do want a place of my own.

So am i pathetic for living with my mother? Some women will no doubt think so. The way I see it, I've done the best I could with the cards I was dealt. If a woman wants to judge me without knowing the whole story, then I am better off without her in my life.
Like i Said above:

Unless he is ill himself, his mother/father/brother etc are ill, he is unempolyed, etc he shouldnt be living with his parents IMO. If it's a choice and not a nesseaity its A PROBLEM.
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Old 06-08-2012, 08:08 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Like i Said above:

Unless he is ill himself, his mother/father/brother etc are ill, he is unempolyed, etc he shouldnt be living with his parents IMO. If it's a choice and not a nesseaity its A PROBLEM.
What the h$&@ kind of choice does the guy in the quoted situation have? Let his mother starve? If anything the fact that he is willing to delay his independence to help his mother who would be in bad straits without should be a quality which most women admire, because he'd likely to the same for kids/wife etc.
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