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Old 06-22-2009, 04:44 PM
 
Location: CITY OF ANGELS AND CONSTANT DANGER
5,408 posts, read 12,625,358 times
Reputation: 2269

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it depends on circumstances.

is he living their to save money (as is the case)? is he living their to care for an elderly parent? does he only live their temp?

living with folks isnt so much a problem. it is common in some cultures to be family oriented. others dont think the same way.

if she thinks he is "beneath her" then shes just sounds obnoxious and uppity. let her find someone who she thinks will make her happy. but she can very well lose out on a great guy due to her own irrational prejudices. this guy is being financiall responsible for crying out loud!!!

her loss
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Old 06-22-2009, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Bay Area
111 posts, read 315,620 times
Reputation: 142
I bet there is more to it then just living with his mom and being "beneath her" ...... sometimes what we see as a perfect match might not be so b/c the attraction might not be there between the 2
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Old 06-22-2009, 04:47 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,493,955 times
Reputation: 9174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beautifulbrwnbabydoll View Post
Well they are both in their mid twenties, so they are still rather young. I just think she should at least give him a chance, and find out what he really wants and what his goals are. But she won't even do that! I just think that it totally wrong!
It does seem pretty closed minded. At that age, I'd take advantage of every opportunity to maximize my future potential.
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Old 06-22-2009, 04:50 PM
 
44 posts, read 248,157 times
Reputation: 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyPOV View Post
I bet there is more to it then just living with his mom and being "beneath her" ...... sometimes what we see as a perfect match might not be so b/c the attraction might not be there between the 2

Well, they have already seen each other before, and they both liked what they saw, so that's not it. I think she wants him to be more established. She wants hm to be able to bring something to the table.
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Old 06-22-2009, 04:51 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,951,692 times
Reputation: 9417
I dated a guy who lived with his parents and he turned out to be my one true love. Everything after him was fillers. I'm so glad I gave him a chance. He was a blind date and was the most awesome guy I've ever known. He lived with his parents and drove an old station wagon to save money for college and he had plenty of money of his own from working to get his own place and nice car but I thought he had his head on straight for taking advantage of the living situation to carve out his future. Some women just don't have very good vision or foresight. Boohoo for her.
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Old 06-22-2009, 04:53 PM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
15,603 posts, read 39,662,151 times
Reputation: 14881
She wants wants wants...gimmie gimmie gimmie. And yet...she won't give him the time of day. I hope he wins the power ball, buys his Mom a new house, and finds a lady that isn't so materialistic.
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Old 06-22-2009, 05:11 PM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,007 posts, read 63,335,877 times
Reputation: 92514
It does depend upon the circumstances and the age and stage of life of the people involved. Maybe your girlfriend asked the right questions and correctly discerned that the guy is a loser, or maybe she is being unfair.
First of all, the best judge of the way a man is going to treat you is the relationship he has with his mother. Does he love and respect her, while not being dependent upon her financially?
Has he been fully independent in the past, but just lives with Mom because she needs help caring for herself, or because she has plenty of room and he enjoys her company?
Are you just offended because you recommended this guy and your friend just won't put your judgement before her's?
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Old 06-22-2009, 05:43 PM
 
6,351 posts, read 9,948,561 times
Reputation: 3490
People, we are in a very bad recession. Allot of very skilled, hard working people are out of work right now. Come on, if this was 1999, when the economy was taking off like a rocket, I could see, but if someone is having a rough time and has to move in with their parents for awhile, that's another story and I don't see why you would blame someone for that...
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Old 06-23-2009, 12:19 AM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,200 posts, read 18,315,816 times
Reputation: 6655
In my age group, it's common for a lot of guys to still live at home. I don't really have a problem with this unless they are planning on just staying at home. I think it just makes more sense to stay at home and save money than to pay an obscene amount of rent for an apartment when you're parents live in the same city. If I could have done it over, I'd still be living at home.
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Old 06-23-2009, 12:38 AM
 
4,868 posts, read 8,388,990 times
Reputation: 3161
I think as long as its temporary, there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not a guy, but I've been pretty much on my own since I was 17 and due to the economy, I had to leave my apartment in Pheonix and come home to Tucson and live with mom to find a job. I'm still binded to my lease for another month, but I'm staying put until I have put enough money away to leave again. I realize men are more open to women living at home than women are to men living at home, but I'm just at home temporarily and it seems like so is your friend.

I think your other friend is mean for not even giving him a chance based on whatever may have caused him to end up back home to save up so he can be on his own once again. I could see not wanting to give him a chance if he had no near future plans to move out on his own, because I wouldn't want to get involved with a guy who had no plans to leave home. It makes him look Dependant on others and I don't want a guy like that. but if this guy is making plans to better himself and his future so he doesn't have to stay at home, then he's actually being smart and independant. that is a nice trait to have in a partner, I think!
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