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Old 06-24-2009, 10:23 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,200 posts, read 18,315,816 times
Reputation: 6655

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
I have looked into this topic and I have come to the conclusion that moving away from the people that love you the most is a North American middle/upper middle class mindset which largely evolved from the industrial age where people left the farms in search of work in the city. As a matter of fact, this is going on in China right now where thousands of young Chinese people are leaving the countryside to make a living (if you want to call it that) making shoes, cell phones and other appliances for the rest of the world. China is going through one of the largest migrations ever.

Anyhow, what Americans fail to realize is that life would be much easier and wealth would be more easily obtained if whole family/community would work together to support each other instead of the vicious cycle where each generation pays thousands of dollars for common knowledge and thousands more for a home that largely remains unoccupied because they are working.

Trust me, it's no coincidence that "the powers that be" have instilled into the masses the belief that young children need to leave home at 18 because if that were not the case the economy would be much smaller as nobody would be buying the appliances for the apartment, the military would have a much harder time recruiting, and corporations would have a much harder time finding young workers to exploit.
I've thought about this before. I have a Korean friend and she lived with her parents all through college and for 3 years after she graduated. She met a guy in 05 and got married in 08. When she moved out her car was paid off, her credit is great and she had a lot of money saved. Her brothers and sisters pretty much did the same thing, she has a sister whose 27 and is still at home but has a good job and I'm sure the means to be financially independent. I don't know too many American families where that happens, it's pretty much a given that you go off to college and then you're on your own. If I had to chose though I'd prefer living at home with the possibility of financial independence over living on my own and having to call home for gas money
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:10 PM
 
3,440 posts, read 8,021,069 times
Reputation: 2402
Quote:
Originally Posted by natalayjones View Post
I've thought about this before. I have a Korean friend and she lived with her parents all through college and for 3 years after she graduated. She met a guy in 05 and got married in 08. When she moved out her car was paid off, her credit is great and she had a lot of money saved. Her brothers and sisters pretty much did the same thing, she has a sister whose 27 and is still at home but has a good job and I'm sure the means to be financially independent. I don't know too many American families where that happens, it's pretty much a given that you go off to college and then you're on your own. If I had to chose though I'd prefer living at home with the possibility of financial independence over living on my own and having to call home for gas money
Yep, I know about this as I use to live in Diamond Bar, Ca which was largely a Chinese community. More or less, just like you said, the Asian family's would stick together to fortify there economic potential; however, the young Americans, some fresh out of collage, would blow a large percentage of there salary just to live in a "luxury" apartment and lease a BMW to play the part when a better idea would be to rent a room and buy a 3k Honda civic if you really need to be on your own.
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:12 PM
NCN
 
Location: NC/SC Border Patrol
21,661 posts, read 25,504,682 times
Reputation: 24343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beautifulbrwnbabydoll View Post
I have been trying to set my good friend up with a guy that I know. He is a really nice guy, He is good looking with a terrific body, he does not have children, he does not do drugs, and he has a job and college experience. The only thing is that right now he lives with his mom. He moved in with his mom to save some money and he is working towards moving out.

So I told her all of this, and she said it was o.k. for him to call her, and he called her the day before yesterday. When I talked to her about him today, I asked her was she going to call him back, and she said she was, but I could tell in her voice that she really didn't want to. To make a long story short, I asked her why she didn't want to call him, and she said that it's cause he lives with his mom...and basically he is beneath her.

I was really upset with her about this, and i wonder how many women think like this! If it were me and I saw that they guy had goals and was working toward something I would give him a shot. She won't even give the guy the time of day based on one temporary situation. IMO, it's a shame and I am starting to feel sorry for some of the guys out here that can't even get a chance to be with someone unless they are totally perfect. She is a total B#$%h!!

I would avoid him like the plague.
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:55 PM
 
Location: Northside Of Jacksonville
3,337 posts, read 7,094,294 times
Reputation: 3464
Folk act like living on your own is such a monumental achievement. Oh I got my own place, FREEDOM! Woohoo!!! *fireworks* Honestly, living on your own isn't all it's cracked up to be. Any female that can't accept a grown man living with his mother when he's trying to do better for himself doesn't need to be in a relationship. It's funny how it's acceptable for women to live at home with their parents but it's a problem for men; that's just LAME
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:11 AM
 
Location: Westchester County
1,223 posts, read 1,681,252 times
Reputation: 1235
Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthsideJacksonville View Post
Folk act like living on your own is such a monumental achievement. Oh I got my own place, FREEDOM! Woohoo!!! *fireworks* Honestly, living on your own isn't all it's cracked up to be. Any female that can't accept a grown man living with his mother when he's trying to do better for himself doesn't need to be in a relationship. It's funny how it's acceptable for women to live at home with their parents but it's a problem for men; that's just LAME

Lame yes, but that's the way it is. I know a guy who lives with his mother in order to save money, yet the women who won't give him the time of day do so based SOLELY on the fact that he lives with his mother. Forget the fact that he now has a retirement account that allows him the OPTION TO WORK when the gets to that age (50), he also has a 6-figure personal savings account. While living with his mother he pays some of her bills WITHOUT HER ASKING, sends her on trips 2x a year (where ever she wants to go) and basically treats her like a queen because he is grateful to be able to save some serious cash in this economy, so even though he treats her well he still comes out ahead.
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh but I'm ready to relocate......
727 posts, read 1,885,008 times
Reputation: 403
NO.....J/k...Really what if the man was merely assisting his Mom because she was about to lose her house?
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:31 AM
 
1,072 posts, read 2,696,534 times
Reputation: 509
Quote:
Originally Posted by natalayjones View Post
I've thought about this before. I have a Korean friend and she lived with her parents all through college and for 3 years after she graduated. She met a guy in 05 and got married in 08. When she moved out her car was paid off, her credit is great and she had a lot of money saved. Her brothers and sisters pretty much did the same thing, she has a sister whose 27 and is still at home but has a good job and I'm sure the means to be financially independent. I don't know too many American families where that happens, it's pretty much a given that you go off to college and then you're on your own. If I had to chose though I'd prefer living at home with the possibility of financial independence over living on my own and having to call home for gas money
Well, part of being an adult that still living at the folks' house, at least in lots of Asian families, unfortunately means that these adults would still "abide" by the rules of their folks' house. I said "unfortunately" because lots of parents don't change their rules as their adult kids grow up. I've known some folks, who have their adult kids living at home, still insist on their adult kids go home by 10 pm every night , even weekends. Not to mention that these adult kids would still have to put up "being grounded" over not doing "chores".

So, to some of us, living poorly but having all that freedom (that is, NOT living under the parents' thumbs) is worth it.
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Old 06-26-2009, 04:11 PM
 
Location: New Milford, NJ
1,452 posts, read 3,163,460 times
Reputation: 1015
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
over 30% of people college age live with their parents.
you could date me, i live alone, but women like younger men.
all i get is cougars pushing walkers.
Ummm...not all cougars are pushing walkers, Huck... Yeah, hi...
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Old 06-26-2009, 04:47 PM
 
Location: outer boroughs, NYC
904 posts, read 2,863,775 times
Reputation: 453
Quote:
Originally Posted by zz4guy View Post
I'd say Mr. Right needs to grow up. If he's able bodied and in his mid-late 20s there's no reason to live with his mom. Obviously he has some issues. Even if you're only making minimum wage you can find a cheap place. I did when I was 23 and couldn't imagine living with mom/dad much past that age.
Find a place on a minimum wage job? Not where I live. No way.

Anyhow - unrelated to that observation - as a 24-year-old guy in a temporary live-with-my-mom situation, I'd like to clear up something about this whole "independence" thing.

I've lived on my own in the past, and, yes, there is a certain independence that comes from living on your own, and paying your own bills, making your own food, setting your place up how you want, etc. But, in terms of "doing what you want to do," well, that really depends on your parents. Many people do have intrusive parents, it's true. But just as many don't. My mom does not make any constraints or demands on where I go, or who I'm with, or when I get home. Hell, between work, and our respective social lives and activities, I probably only see her two or three times a week. Many twentysomethings do have parents who treat them like adults, and I think this is something that is often overlooked. Before you jump to conclusions, find out a little about his relationship with his mother - as someone else said, if they get along well and respect each other, but are not attached at the hip, you may not even notice that he lives with his mom.

There are good reasons to move out (and I'll be doing so myself in a few months), but a guy in his mid-twenties who lives with his mom is not necessarily a bum, or someone with mommy issues. He may just be practical - especially in an expensive area, like New York.
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Old 06-26-2009, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Norwood, MN
1,828 posts, read 3,776,584 times
Reputation: 907
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beautifulbrwnbabydoll View Post
I have been trying to set my good friend up with a guy that I know. He is a really nice guy, He is good looking with a terrific body, he does not have children, he does not do drugs, and he has a job and college experience. The only thing is that right now he lives with his mom. He moved in with his mom to save some money and he is working towards moving out.

So I told her all of this, and she said it was o.k. for him to call her, and he called her the day before yesterday. When I talked to her about him today, I asked her was she going to call him back, and she said she was, but I could tell in her voice that she really didn't want to. To make a long story short, I asked her why she didn't want to call him, and she said that it's cause he lives with his mom...and basically he is beneath her.

I was really upset with her about this, and i wonder how many women think like this! If it were me and I saw that they guy had goals and was working toward something I would give him a shot. She won't even give the guy the time of day based on one temporary situation. IMO, it's a shame and I am starting to feel sorry for some of the guys out here that can't even get a chance to be with someone unless they are totally perfect. She is a total B#$%h!!
Thank goodness that guy didnt get mixed up with that ----.
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