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Old 06-26-2009, 08:42 AM
Location: Heading Northwest In Nevada
8,938 posts, read 20,360,557 times
Reputation: 5638


I've heard more and more about couples who live apart (two different homes) because of jobs. This NEVER use to happen years ago!
True situations from here in Jax, FL:

We have a neighbor in the apt. complex who is 30 + is sharing an apt. with her mom because her husband is living/working in the same State, but on the southern end of it. She told us that he will be there for another year at least, but he does try come to see her a couple of times a month for a weekend.

Another lady here, has an apt. across from ours and her husband lives/works in the State above us. She told us that he makes much better money there than here. Their living situation does seem to bother her when we ask how he is doing.

Yesterday my wife and a young lady were talking at my wife's job and the young lady told her that her husband is living/working in Indiana. She moved here to Jacksonville and was waiting for him to come down. She talked to him the other day and he told her he that he wasn't going to move down here and didn't want her coming up there (to see him)! Well, well, well, so just what happened here (my wife wondered, but didn't say anything to the girl).

So, my question is: Is the economy breaking couples up or what the "H" is happening??? I understand marrying someone in the military who might be gone for some months, but this is different. Wife and I do come from the "old school" of thought and marriage (we are 60/61 yrs old) and just WOULDN'T live apart for any reason.
So "enlighten" us on what's going on and.......have you done this or would you do this??????
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Old 06-26-2009, 08:48 AM
Location: NW Montana
283 posts, read 738,296 times
Reputation: 262
It's not just the young doing this. My father-in-law and his wife live on opposite sides of the country! He has a HVAC business here in Montana and she has a dance school in West Virginia. When they met, and eventually married, neither wanted to give up their businesses. They are both workaholics and apparently living 1500+ miles away works for them. This has been going on for 6-7 years now. When he reaches retirement age in the next couple years, he plans on moving there permanently. Just hope their newfound togetherness doesn't destroy their marriage.
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Old 06-26-2009, 09:35 AM
37,593 posts, read 45,950,883 times
Reputation: 57142
A good friend of mine married last summer. She has 2 pre-teen boys, he has a teen-aged daughter. They live in two different cities, about 20 min apart, and have decided to do this until his daughter is out of school - they don't want to uproot the kids out of their surroundings. It works for them - and frankly, she loves it. I think I might enjoy it too. I haven't noticed it as a "trend" though - celebrities have been doing this forever. But it does make sense that the economy would create more of these types of arrangements.
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Old 07-12-2009, 11:03 PM
1 posts, read 21,602 times
Reputation: 13
Default Reason and Heart

I am currently embarking (no pun intended) on a journey such as the one you question. My boyfriend and I met at graduate school in England, and we are both engineers with similar values and aspirations regarding our careers, potential contribution to our respective professional fields, and ideas of a lifestyle together that encompasses our passion for sustainability. What's more, we are deeply in love and have every intention of getting married next year.

The reason behind our current situation of living 3.5 hours apart is that we have found well-paying jobs that are perfectly in line with our ideals, and our distance apart is significantly less than living in different countries. With equal salaries, happiness with our jobs, and endless love, there is no reason to change at this point. Ultimately, and hopefully in the next couple of years, we can move to the same city and find equally fulfilling jobs, in which one person has not compromised his or her talent or potential in order to be with the one (s)he loves. This economy does not help our situation, but it certainly tests our commitment before and after we are married.
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Old 07-12-2009, 11:06 PM
13,784 posts, read 26,244,003 times
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I have never heard of this! I know people who travel for their jobs during the week and return home on the weekends but living apart.
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Old 07-12-2009, 11:09 PM
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 41,025,535 times
Reputation: 13472
I think it's a terrific arrangement and one I'd like to have for myself!
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Old 07-12-2009, 11:10 PM
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,134,698 times
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Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
I think I might enjoy it too.
I believe I might as well!

The economy has put a strain on many people... If you can't find a job where you live, what can you do...
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Old 07-12-2009, 11:10 PM
13,784 posts, read 26,244,003 times
Reputation: 7445
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
I think it's a terrific arrangement and one I'd like to have for myself!
I forgot about your case...well, I can see it then
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Old 07-12-2009, 11:59 PM
Location: Arkansas
2,383 posts, read 6,056,542 times
Reputation: 1141
I would not do this unless I had to. My hubby has the opportunity to move a lot with his job so if he were to ever take a job in a new state, say while our daughter was a senior in high school or something, I would not move. I would wait for her to finish and then move to be with him. I can see how or why some people might do this. I wouldn't want that type of set-up to be permanent, but I can understand it.
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Old 08-10-2009, 09:37 AM
Location: 53010
6 posts, read 37,920 times
Reputation: 16
Default we are moving to Florida without daddy for a year

We are thinking of doing this for about a year. I am moving to Sarasota, Florida, my home town, because I can not stand the winters etc, and he is staying here for a while while we save money. he will then come down after me proving that this was the right thing. We are excited about this and are doing it cause we have suffered hardship here and I am losing my house that I love and after long talks and consideration, he is letting me move back first to be happy. I have been home sick for years and the winters are so hard on me. I have visited Florda every year since we have moved to Wisconsin{12 years} and go on long stints with the kids and we are fine with the separation then. We have been married 15 years, have two little kids and the separation is not ideal but we are not afraid of it either. I can not predict the future of our relationship, but feel we would be fine. It is just not in us to end in divorce. Granted I would rather he move down with us, but the condition is for me to do a trial run to make sure it is the right thing before he gives up his career and he likes the weather in Wisconsin. He is only doing this crazy plan for me. So yea couples do this and it can work, I hope!!!!
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