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Old 07-15-2009, 01:22 PM
 
3,393 posts, read 5,256,635 times
Reputation: 3031

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[quote=anpanhead;9488917]I'm a guy in my 20's and I used used to be a graphic designer and artist. I relocated to a new city and had troubles getting back into the industry so I worked a menial job that was based on my interests. During the time I worked there I met a woman who was slightly younger and an amazing artist that was coming up in the art scene. We talked about working on a project together but ended up sleeping together. When we first started seeing eachother we both had an agreement that we didnt want a relationship. As time went on though I became emotionally attached and fell in love with her. I guess the nights of watching movies together and cuddling on the couch got to me. I spend the night at her place a couple days a week but she tells me she doesnt have time for a relationship because she wants to focus on her art. quote]

ummm ok. she just told you the deal. nevermind the excuse, the bottom line is, she isn't interested. either be friends withOUT benefits or walk away completely.
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Old 07-15-2009, 05:52 PM
 
Location: Tampa (by way of Omaha)
14,561 posts, read 22,969,491 times
Reputation: 10355
Quote:
Originally Posted by chacho_keva View Post
What a woman! You must respect her wishes completely! She knows exactly what she wants from a logical perspective. You seem not to have the same where-with-all she is gifted with. Get out of her way mon! If you don't get out of her way now...you will be trampled later! Your choice.

Take it like a mon, mon! And realize that she is a stout-hearted and focused woman! You are lacking in that department.

Did you really have to type with an accent?
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Old 07-16-2009, 06:50 PM
 
Location: FIN
888 posts, read 1,585,592 times
Reputation: 811
When i served in the military, there was this girl who always came by for "coffee" when i had a weekend off. She actually didn't mind that there was this woman sergeant in my brigade, who she knew i also banged on a regular basis. I didn't want any serious relations to anyone, since i never knew when i was gonna be home again. I guess i didn't make that clear enough for everybody. After our "relationship" ended, i found out that she was just very attracted to me, and did it just to stay close. But what ever. Based on my experiences, i would say that there is no such thing as a friendship with benefits, either one always wants at least a little more.
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Old 07-16-2009, 06:53 PM
 
Location: Some place very cold
5,501 posts, read 22,394,777 times
Reputation: 4353
I've never been able to do the casual sex thing.
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Old 07-16-2009, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Pawnee Nation
7,525 posts, read 16,920,093 times
Reputation: 7110
Friends with benefits? It can work if you do a few things. 1) Continue on with your life. find a woman you can make a future with. 2) Let HER be the one to say when the benefits are available. 3) turn her down once in a while. Let her know you aren't hanging out waiting for the phone to ring. 4) When you do find someone you can make a future with, cut it off right then unless your true love is in to threesomes........if that happens come back and I will give you some more "rules of the road."
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Old 07-16-2009, 10:33 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,002 posts, read 18,567,339 times
Reputation: 12357
FWB's can work if both people are married and neither wants to leave their spouses
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Old 07-16-2009, 10:37 PM
 
3,219 posts, read 6,561,607 times
Reputation: 1852
Quote:
Originally Posted by MonaLisaVito View Post
FWB's can work if both people are married and neither wants to leave their spouses
May I add: Or thinking about anyone else.

Great Post MLV!
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:11 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,002 posts, read 18,567,339 times
Reputation: 12357
Quote:
Originally Posted by njguy View Post
May I add: Or thinking about anyone else.

Great Post MLV!
http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/d... (broken link)
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:49 PM
 
1,322 posts, read 2,407,509 times
Reputation: 1473
Quote:
Originally Posted by anpanhead View Post
I'm a guy in my 20's and I used used to be a graphic designer and artist. I relocated to a new city and had troubles getting back into the industry so I worked a menial job that was based on my interests. During the time I worked there I met a woman who was slightly younger and an amazing artist that was coming up in the art scene. We talked about working on a project together but ended up sleeping together. When we first started seeing eachother we both had an agreement that we didnt want a relationship. As time went on though I became emotionally attached and fell in love with her. I guess the nights of watching movies together and cuddling on the couch got to me. I spend the night at her place a couple days a week but she tells me she doesnt have time for a relationship because she wants to focus on her art. I do too thats my overall goal in life as well. i just wish we could do this together. What as a man should I do?
Man, here's the thing.. First, she said she didn't want a relationship. And now, well, she says she still doesn't want a relationship. At what point in time has she EVER said that she did?

Forgive me for being a bastard, but, well, hell, that's just how I am.

Don't get me wrong, I feel for ya. I mean, unrequited love is always the hardest to bear - been there, done that, got the t-shirt - but the simple fact is is that she told you from the start.

So now what do ya do? Well, here's my opinion: Smile, realize that - guess what - she doesn't want a relationship, and move on. My friend, one day you'll find someone that will make you feel like you've never felt before - and you'll make that person feel the same. But, before you meet that person you have to realize that real love takes time and trust. To me, it sounds like you really don't know a lot about this girl, and if you stop and think about it, maybe you'll realize that.

Man, I wish you the best of luck.

Gotta run, got boats to build...
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