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When I was younger, I thought that because women tend to talk more than men, they're more open. But some women are very good at talking a lot, but not really saying anything. I've met women who could talk endlessly but at the end of the conversation, I didn't feel like I really knew them any better.
And that's why I think it's good to get out of the traditional dating scenarios and/or party/bar social scene.
Another scheme that works well is to go camping. That is usually another make or break method.
That's why I always found a "road trip" was perfect for breaking down relationships into their real parts. Hard to hide yourself in a car with someone day after day.
I use road trips as a method for shaking out a woman's bad habits and getting a grasp of who they really are and it works like a charm.
As men we tend to wear a lot more on our sleeve but women are subversive and sneaky so it takes more work to sort them out as to their true selves.
I've recommended it to others and it's been a real help for them as it has made or broken the relationship.
Put her behind the wheel. Its difficult to drive and keep your "story" straight at the same time. Up to that point, I was suspicious but it was in this situation when she finally admitted that she was in debt by an amount that exceeded my net worth! (and I owned my house and she made more than me - very scary but her spending was completely out of control)
This is a common problem with remortgaging. Its absolutely amazing what some people can spend and its not just women either.
The theory behind this "play the game" douchery is really more simple than some people try to make it out to be.
It's simply men wising up on how to attract shallow, insecure, and/or dumb women. This bogus "self-help" is actually pretty successful, though not for the reasons these guys think it is; they tend to be shallow, insecure, and/or dumb themselves, so it's really just a breakthrough for compatible people to find each other. It's a mating dance.
If that's what someone needs... well, bully for them, if it works. I tend to be attracted to the kind of woman that immediately sees through these shenanigans, so I never saw any use for it (just smile and nod when one of these chuckleheads insists that it always works, and women who don't respond just aren't desirable enough for them anyway).
The theory behind this "play the game" douchery is really more simple than some people try to make it out to be.
It's simply men wising up on how to attract shallow, insecure, and/or dumb women. This bogus "self-help" is actually pretty successful, though not for the reasons these guys think it is; they tend to be shallow, insecure, and/or dumb themselves, so it's really just a breakthrough for compatible people to find each other. It's a mating dance.
If that's what someone needs... well, bully for them, if it works. I tend to be attracted to the kind of woman that immediately sees through these shenanigans, so I never saw any use for it (just smile and nod when one of these chuckleheads insists that it always works, and women who don't respond just aren't desirable enough for them anyway).
Another person who doesn't get it. There is not a single thing in this post that is correct.
The theory behind this "play the game" douchery is really more simple than some people try to make it out to be.
It's simply men wising up on how to attract shallow, insecure, and/or dumb women. This bogus "self-help" is actually pretty successful, though not for the reasons these guys think it is; they tend to be shallow, insecure, and/or dumb themselves, so it's really just a breakthrough for compatible people to find each other. It's a mating dance.
If that's what someone needs... well, bully for them, if it works. I tend to be attracted to the kind of woman that immediately sees through these shenanigans, so I never saw any use for it (just smile and nod when one of these chuckleheads insists that it always works, and women who don't respond just aren't desirable enough for them anyway).
I agree 100%. The kind of women this technique works on aren't worth the time. I have more respect for the woman who can see through these men.
If you are after a serious and long term relationship you are better off being yourself.
At the end of the day, in time the person who you are will come out. Its commonly a case of short term pain for long term gain. You are only wasting each others time if you aren't upfront and yourself.
It's about improving yourself! It's about learning skills!
If someone was learning karate, would you ever accuse him of "being someone he's not?" (someone who knows karate)
If a fat guy tries goes to gym to lose weight, would you ever accuse him of "being someone he's not?" (someone's who's fit)
Why is learning to be more adept in dealing with women any different? How is learning how to create that spark, dealing with her test, conversational techniques different from learning any other skill?
Ummmm....we're reading the title to this thread, which is: Why "Just Be Yourself" is the worst dating advice someone can give. So I don't think we're the ones with a learning disability.
What's there to not understand? Having been around the block a few times, I can tell you that reciting a bunch of cheesy, rehearsed pickup lines from some lame-ass pickup artist is not being yourself. And it won't get you laid by any woman with any judgment. Is that really what you want? I mean, heck, why not just go on craigslist and troll for hookers if that's all you want?
If you are after a serious and long term relationship you are better off being yourself.
At the end of the day, in time the person who you are will come out. Its commonly a case of short term pain for long term gain. You are only wasting each others time if you aren't upfront and yourself.
A more casual relationship is different.....
Casual is all about looks and the obvious in a guy. If he can't cut it in this game (and most cannot) its time to hang up your spurs.
To be a winner in a long term relationship, you must both accept each other for being themselves. Often, the real winners are those who avoid the institution!
The real issue with divorce (and unhappy marriages that don't go through divorce) is that they didn't really get to know the other person. Reality sets in fast and women in particular, find that a dream guy before marriage becomes hard to take after 5 years and 2 kids.
And he then says: "I didn't change but she sure did." That was her reaction to his inability to rise to the additional burdens of married life.
Ummmm....we're reading the title to this thread, which is: Why "Just Be Yourself" is the worst dating advice someone can give. So I don't think we're the ones with a learning disability.
Then why are you talking about cheesy pick up lines when the article made no such mention?
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