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Well, without reading that dissertation, I'll say this.
Most men who cannot find a woman because they are self-described "nice guys" really are that way because they are...what's the word..."boring." In other words, they are interested in nothing beyond their narrow little lives, they've never learned to make basic conversation, and too timid to actually show signs of a beating heart, let alone a personality. The term "nice guy" just happens to be self-congratulatory.
You know what women want? 90% don't want a bad boy. They want a man who loves life. A man who isn't all about the job or his little hobbies. A man who sucks the marrow out of life, rather than treat it like something that's inherently dangerous. A man who gets out and tries new things. A man who walks into rooms unafraid, because he likes who he is and feels that he is someone worth talking to. A man who is interesting to talk to, and doesn't hold her up on a pedestal, because while women want to be adored, they hate to be worshipped.
That's what women want. And that's why living, breathing, interesting men get women. And why men who read books on How To Pick Up Women are alone on their Saturday nights.
The fact that so-called Bad Boys share some of these characteristics just happens to complicate matters.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rlrl
**what if it's just not in your character to be like that? what if you just don't have the enthusiasm or drive to muster up an enthusiasm (or fake it) for life
The only reason for not having enthusiasm I see as clinical (depression or other illness). Enthusiasm does NOT need to be loud. A quiet reserved guy with quiet confidence is all it takes. He can be confident about himself, his abilities, about knowing who he is, - his confidence stems from knowing his value in the world.
I suppose that's why i have given up dating and even going out. Even male friendships. I always speak of dread of dating and even just socializing but i think it's because I come off as boring and don't want to admit it. No more or less than that. Tho to be fair there are several people i know who clearly do not think i am boring and they also think i just may come off that way because i take a great deal of trust of someone before i will change my colors. Whether it be someone at the job or even here in my building my internal attitude is always negative and pessimistic, tho i try very hard to conceal that.
but it was mentioned that boring nice guys only are involved with their jobs and their narrow interests, but the fact is it could be worse--what about guys who don't work or are antisocial personalities whose only interests are bad acts?
I suppose that's why i have given up dating and even going out. Even male friendships. I always speak of dread of dating and even just socializing but i think it's because I come off as boring and don't want to admit it. No more or less than that. Tho to be fair there are several people i know who clearly do not think i am boring and they also think i just may come off that way because i take a great deal of trust of someone before i will change my colors. Whether it be someone at the job or even here in my building my internal attitude is always negative and pessimistic, tho i try very hard to conceal that.
but it was mentioned that boring nice guys only are involved with their jobs and their narrow interests, but the fact is it could be worse--what about guys who don't work or are antisocial personalities whose only interests are bad acts?
You mean like TVandSportsGuy, Victorian Punk, Craig123 (or whatever the hell his name is), Jonathan LB, Samston, or any of the numerous other dysfunctional posters on C-D?
You mean like TVandSportsGuy, Victorian Punk, Craig123 (or whatever the hell his name is), Jonathan LB, Samston, or any of the numerous other dysfunctional posters on C-D?
You mean like TVandSportsGuy, Victorian Punk, Craig123 (or whatever the hell his name is), Jonathan LB, Samston, or any of the numerous other dysfunctional posters on C-D?
Well There are 2 Girls who are sexually attracted to me at my job so I must be doing smething right. Maybe my hair is laying the right way-lol
The only reason for not having enthusiasm I see as clinical (depression or other illness). Enthusiasm does NOT need to be loud. A quiet reserved guy with quiet confidence is all it takes. He can be confident about himself, his abilities, about knowing who he is, - his confidence stems from knowing his value in the world.
Why does everything boil down to depression? Sometimes good old laziness and a refusal to step out of one's comfort zone is to blame.
So, like ..... you wanna go out on a date or something?
LOL, Chinese, a Movie, and A Nice Walk
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well
