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Okie dokie, so we rent the downstairs basement apt. from my guys parents. We pay fair market value..plus, they have him do TONS of things so it MORE than pays itself off.
His parents and school aged siblings live upstairs.My guy has the key (since he is repsonsible for so many things) so he generally is able to just unlock the door to his parents house upstairs and go in. IMO, his parents have two kids living with them..so it's not an invasion of privacy..and they don't seem to mind. They also have a business up there so pretty much everyone comes and goes.
Now, the thing that IRKS me..and they have done this TIME and time again after I have made it clear that I am annoyed..is that not only do they come into our apartment downstairs..they get the spare key and walk right in. They don't call...anything. And it's usually because they have to ask him a Q or give my guy something etc.
Am I wrong for being irritated? I dunno about any of you..but I like to feel comfortable walking around naked in my house. I keep telling them that they are gonna walk in on me naked one day..but their english is bad..so I don't think they get it. Also...WTF...they have done this before while my guy and I were doing the "tango" lol..in the back room! They didn't see what we were doing..but it's like..wtf? And yeah..sometimes they knock on the 2nd door (there is the main door and like a little square entryway)..but they do it AS they are coming in.
What is your take on this? Am I being unreasonable to be aggravated..just be honest. Oh, and in order to get to our apt. they have to come outside of their house..walk all the way outside to the entrance of our apartment. So it's not like they simply walk downstairs from the inside of the house upstairs.
What should I do? I tell my bf and he agrees but hasn't said anything (he was going to but .. I am wondering what is the least rude way to go about this..since it's family you know? It just really pisses me off.
Last edited by Platinum333; 06-28-2009 at 09:47 PM..
washer or dryer downstairs?
Sit them down and layout the rules...go over it with him first, i am sure he sees them like 10 times a day so if they have something for it..leave it up stairs.
I think a door chain lock is called for, if you want to walk around naked you should be able to worry free
Last edited by SouthCity09; 06-28-2009 at 09:48 PM..
If you are paying fair market value on the apartment AND your BF is expected to work, why don't you move to a place that is comparable in price and cut the strings?
Nope..there is no washer or dryer. The only thing they would need down here is to let the meter guy in, once a month, to check the electricity thingy in the closet with their tools. Honestly though..9 out of 10 times...it's never for those reasons.
Yes, I am thinking of getting a door lock..it just sucks if my guy is coming and going and he gets stuck outside too LOL. Also...I think his parents will think it's obvious that I put that there because of them. Hmmm....I just dunno if it will create tension..but it's either that or my privacy ha.
If you are paying fair market value on the apartment AND your BF is expected to work, why don't you move to a place that is comparable in price and cut the strings?
I plan on moving winter 2010. We are just in a position where we can't move right now. Well, if we absolutely had to, I am sure we could. We just moved in and I rather not create tension with my bf and his parents over what seems to be "small". Like, they will ask..why are you moving? etc.? There is no good excuse haha. Once I start college..and work as a nurse at a hospital..THEN I will have a better "reason". Which will be in 15-16 months.
And honestly...we might be saving $150 per month on rent...but the thing is...they have him doing so much stuff and helping out that it really isn't like a huge deal. $5 a day we save?...but in exchange my guy is pretty much on call to do whatever his parents call him for like 10 times a day.
Perhaps I am being rude..and this is just a cultural thing..they are hispanic. I'm a little more kept to myself..I don't like that in and out stuff and having to be all up in each others grill...idk lol...grrr
I plan on moving winter 2010. We are just in a position where we can't move right now. Well, if we absolutely had to, I am sure we could. We just moved in and I rather not create tension with my bf and his parents over what seems to be "small". Like, they will ask..why are you moving? etc.? There is no good excuse haha. Once I start college..and work as a nurse at a hospital..THEN I will have a better "reason". Which will be in 15-16 months.
And honestly...we might be saving $150 per month on rent...but the thing is...they have him doing so much stuff and helping out that it really isn't like a huge deal. $5 a day we save?...but in exchange my guy is pretty much on call to do whatever his parents call him for like 10 times a day.
Perhaps I am being rude..and this is just a cultural thing..they are hispanic. I'm a little more kept to myself..I don't like that in and out stuff and having to be all up in each others grill...idk lol...grrr
That seems like a long way off! I would ask your BF the best route to take so you do not offend his parents. At some point he needs to stop doing the extra chores and spend more time with you.
If you are not married to the people's son, my suggestion would be to move out until you get married. Then I would move very far away from these inconsiderate people. They have no respect for you and are showing it.
We have a nasty habit of expect privacy from our parents without thinking they need the same. What would you do if you lived across town? Would you just pop in without calling and walk in without knocking? If you want them to call first and/or knock you have to do the same. It doesn't matter if they have children and will more than likely be dressed. They may feel that since you think it's okay for you all to come and go into their home as you please, you are okay with them doing the same thing.
I was thinking about moving out LOL. Ugh..I told my guy this is ridiculous and that we aren't even married. I hate to make his parents sound like monsters..they aren't ..but IDK if they get the meaning of privacy...also...
...noooooo...I, 9 times out of 10...ALWAYS knock on their door. Unless they are expecting me and have called me..;and I can see the door is open..then I might walk in.
That seems like a long way off! I would ask your BF the best route to take so you do not offend his parents. At some point he needs to stop doing the extra chores and spend more time with you.
Yeah I feel bad..because I know family is all about helping each other out..but I'm pretty positive that it is WAY more convenient for them to have him here than it is the other way around.
My BIGGEST thing is...they always ask LAST minute and inconvenience him...even if it's not 100 times a week...the timing is HORRIFIC. Sweet people..but they are very disorganized and irresponsible at times and that is NOT the way my guy and I function.
Thanks for the advice
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