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Just wondering what others experiences are with friendships that have gone sour. We were staying at my partners childhood friends house this week from an invitation the freind had extended for us to do so. We had not spent time with this friend since her wedding last September which my partner was maid of honor and I was a brides maid. We moved in November and this was our first visit back. We landed on Wednesday and went to the friends house. My partner and her friend went out to dinner while I turned in early to bed. The next morning we left around 4am, having told the friend this already, for our nephews graduation from high school. We returned around 8pm and went to bed with no contact with the friend or her husband. The friend was not home and we were not sure about the huband. The husband had been hiding since we arrived, the friend stated he was over stressed due to a new job on Monday, we said we understood and tried to stay out of the way.
Friday morning we stayed a little longer in the morning and had coffee with the friend before leaving for the day. We again came back to their house around 9pm and went to bed. The friend was out for the evening and we again did not know where the husband was. No eating of their food, no use of anything other than the room we were sleeping in and the guest bathroom.
Sat. morning we had an appointment so we were up early, but not before the friend and her husband. We drank a cup of coffee and left. The friend had a vet appointment that day and we called many times to check in and see if she needed anything. We also had dinner plans for Saturday night with this friend and another friend from high school. We called before getting back to the house to again offer anything we could pick up for our friend. Once back at the house the husband disappeared again, the friend stated she was staying home with her dog, and we could go to dinner without her. We offered to bring some dinner for her or to eat at the house and order in. She declined politely and we left.
We returned to the house an hour or so later, again calling before returning to ask if we could bring anything for her. At this point she informed my partner that her husbands stress had escalated and would we mind staying somewhere else. It was 8pm so a bit of a surprise. We agreed to leave and drove back to the house. Once inside we went upstairs to get our luggage.
There was a knock on the door, it was the husband, we thought he was stopping to apologize for being so distant and somewhat rude. WOW, we were surprised when he laid into us saying he was shocked at how much we were taking advantage of his wifes hospitality by staying at their house. We responded with, the wife had invited us and why would we think it was an imposition being we spent most of our time away from the house and had mainly slept there. He was yelling we had eaten their food and used their stuff. I reminded him we had eaten nothing other than shared coffee with his wife. I told im his irish cream had been empty so we had already picked up a new bottle for them and put it in the frig. He began demanding answers as to why we did not call and ask his permission to stay at their house now that they are married. We responded with the fact that we do not really know him and why would we assume there was an issue when his wife had asked us to stay. He attempted to digress from there with insults and physically antagonistic behavior. The wife was nowhere to be found until our luggage was all outside, she heard from my partner what happened and apologized timidly. We immediatley called a cab and went to a hotel. The friend has not called since.
Here is the question, Would you still try and salvage this friendship?
The husband guy's scary. Your friend's probably wed"locked" with this guy.
So you can save the friend and ruin the husband
This is the reason I will never go to anyone's house to stay, unless if it's my Dad's, I mean, my house where my mother still lives.
Even if I visit people, it lasts not more than 30 minutes. I also politely decline everything they offer, from coffee to refreshments. I don't want anyone to say they fed me.
You never know, friends can be weird. And it's embarrassing to have someone tell you you ate their food without permission. What a cockroach this bugger is
Maybe he was expecting you guys to find him and submit yourselves to his house authority. Some guys have cheap ego which comes out in the wrongmost places.
This guy sounds like a complete jerk..but don't blame it on your friend until you discuss it with her and she does something about it. He's a wacko for sure. Let her know EVERYTHING.
wow.... Well we have friends over who stay all the time and we go and spend time at our friend's places as well...we try not to be a big pain as much as we can but it doesn't seem as though you were... I think your friend is in a troubled marraige, esp since her husband seems really weird. He might have asked her to kick you guys out and not meet her other friends etc... i know some ppl are control freaks like that.... If she is a good friend you shd try to reach out to her and let her know that you are around if she needs to talk to someone about anything. You shd be prepared for her getting defensive but still I would not cut ties with her simply because of the husband
OP, the answer is NO, DO NOT salvage this friendship at least dont be the front runner, if your friend or his spouse comes back with a real good apology and also a way to rebuild the freindship or lost respect, then only take it slow...
I have a good one for ya, I've had the same BF for 28 years (I'm 32 yo), he was having his first child. So prior to that him and his fiance had a baby shower, a list was given as far as what they wanted an needed. The big gift on there was a $480 Recaro Racing seat for a baby.
I wanted to get it for him really bad, money was tight that month. Instead I bought the $250 Recaro racing seat for his newborn. I did not give it to him at the party, for it was on order so I told him lookout for the packahge. 2 weeks later never get a thank you or anything, I noticed a refund on my credit card, apparently he returned it back to the company when he found out it was not the baby seat he wanted.
1 week after that his child was born, I called knowing that week his fiance was due, and sure enough they had the baby and never called me. We were like brotheres our entire life.. After that I never called him again, it's been 1 year.,
This guy sounds like a complete jerk..but don't blame it on your friend until you discuss it with her and she does something about it. He's a wacko for sure. Let her know EVERYTHING.
True..I agree
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