Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
5,152 posts, read 8,527,286 times
Reputation: 2038
Advertisements
Why does it seem like such a big, big time challenge? For most normal people, this is like eating and breathing. WTF.
Or at least actively dating if not being in love.
I've gone 80 to 90% of my life without having both at the same time, I've had one or the other during the 80 to 90%, but not both and it's extremely sad.
With the job market the way it is, it's a double whammy, most women don't want anything to do with a man who is not working (even though at this point I still have income coming in). I'd love to have a relationship, but I'm passive as far as looking now, since I'm way more concerned about trying to find a decent job. If I was in love or had someone who gave a crap about me, my UI problems would be easier to take.
All I want to be is in love and have a job and I'm sure I would be a lot happier, is that too much to ask when most adults in the US have this?
I cannot grow old this way, it's unacceptable (without a job and love at the same time, 80 plus % of the time).
Why does it seem like such a big, big time challenge? For most normal people, this is like eating and breathing. WTF.
Or at least actively dating if not being in love.
I've gone 80 to 90% of my life without having both at the same time, I've had one or the other during the 80 to 90%, but not both and it's extremely sad.
With the job market the way it is, it's a double whammy, most women don't want anything to do with a man who is not working (even though at this point I still have income coming in). I'd love to have a relationship, but I'm passive as far as looking now, since I'm way more concerned about trying to find a decent job. If I was in love or had someone who gave a crap about me, my UI problems would be easier to take.
All I want to be is in love and have a job and I'm sure I would be a lot happier, is that too much to ask when most adults in the US have this?
I cannot grow old this way, it's unacceptable (without a job and love at the same time, 80 plus % of the time).
Here's something you apparently have yet to learn - happiness in life comes from WITHIN - not from external factors.
You are doing yourself a HUGE disservice by allowing yourself to believe that all your problems would be easy to deal with IF ONLY...
STOP IT right now or you'll never find what you really want.
Relationships are work and to find someone you want to be in one with you must first work on yourself. You have to be comfortable in your own skin. You have to know how to be alone and be okay. You have to make yourself the kind of person that another person would be interested in in the first place.
Complete yourself as a person now, don't wait around for some other person to "complete" you, because they won't - it doesn't work that way, though romance novels and movies may have given you that false impression.
What women really don't want is to deal with a needy, whiny man. We women want our men to be confident and self-assured. Set some goals, get out there and make some things happen in your professional life. No one can give you what you want except you!
Everyone can tell him to stop and not to think that way but it will NOT help. I can relate with the OP, and it is indeed a bad way of thinking as it does bring you down. Just know that you are not alone and that you should make the best out of life and try to be positive and good things will come. Work on yourself and get a good job, keep your chin up and you will be in a better position in finding love. Also do not be so hard on yourself. Also if you are too picky, you need to work on that, as nobody is perfect. Good luck and ALWAYS remember, to think positive. If you don't, you are doomed.
Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
5,152 posts, read 8,527,286 times
Reputation: 2038
Quote:
Originally Posted by ttz
Everyone can tell him to stop and not to think that way but it will NOT help. I can relate with the OP, and it is indeed a bad way of thinking as it does bring you down. Just know that you are not alone and that you should make the best out of life and try to be positive and good things will come. Work on yourself and get a good job, keep your chin up and you will be in a better position in finding love. Also do not be so hard on yourself. Also if you are too picky, you need to work on that, as nobody is perfect. Good luck and ALWAYS remember, to think positive. If you don't, you are doomed.
I'm not too picky, while I won't date anyone who is obese or can't hold a deep discussion, particulary about current events, I'm open to all sorts of races and faces.
Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
5,152 posts, read 8,527,286 times
Reputation: 2038
No one has answered my question if being in love and having a job at the same time, is a normal thing for most adults?
Those that can say be happy with you and quit bitching, have probably 80 to 90% of their life HAVE HAD both at the same time, not the other way around like me.
Try it yourself. It will get old real fast, trust me.
No one has answered my question if being in love and having a job at the same time, is a normal thing for most adults?
Those that can say be happy with you and quit bitching, have probably 80 to 90% of their life HAVE HAD both at the same time, not the other way around like me.
Try it yourself. It will get old real fast, trust me.
No, I think being in love is simply a status...a point in time thing. As in, right now, I have a pet, a good job, a relationship, good neighbors. Next year, I might not have all those things. You can't view such things as "normal" to have. They come and go - that's just part of life. Having a job, however, if you are an adult, out on your own...yes. I would say that is a normal state of affairs. However, most of us have been through an unemployment phase, so it's not all or nothing. Don't get so hung up on what is normal. Just go work on a job...the rest will come, or it won't. But you need to make your own happiness, my friend. Never depend on someone else for that.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 06-29-2009 at 06:59 PM..
Why does it seem like such a big, big time challenge? For most normal people, this is like eating and breathing. WTF.
Or at least actively dating if not being in love.
I've gone 80 to 90% of my life without having both at the same time, I've had one or the other during the 80 to 90%, but not both and it's extremely sad.
With the job market the way it is, it's a double whammy, most women don't want anything to do with a man who is not working (even though at this point I still have income coming in). I'd love to have a relationship, but I'm passive as far as looking now, since I'm way more concerned about trying to find a decent job. If I was in love or had someone who gave a crap about me, my UI problems would be easier to take.
All I want to be is in love and have a job and I'm sure I would be a lot happier, is that too much to ask when most adults in the US have this?
I cannot grow old this way, it's unacceptable (without a job and love at the same time, 80 plus % of the time).
The grass always look greener on the other side. I know people who have jobs/own there own business and are also dating/married but yet they are not has happy has you think they should be.
My advice would be to look at your life as if you are a captain of a ship and you have to navigate to your destination through sunny days as well as storms. What I mean is, in life, there will be times where you don't "feel"
well and you just haft to learn to keep plugging away at your life goals irrespective of how you feel.
I know you feel that a job and a girl will make you feel better but I don't believe it's that simple as our emotions are dictated by planetary movements, lack of exercise, food intake and a whole host of other known and unknown things.
No one has answered my question if being in love and having a job at the same time, is a normal thing for most adults?
Those that can say be happy with you and quit bitching, have probably 80 to 90% of their life HAVE HAD both at the same time, not the other way around like me.
Try it yourself. It will get old real fast, trust me.
And you haven't answered the earlier question...how old are you??
I don't have to "try it" because I'd never allow myself to be where you are. See, there are things you are doing and things you are not doing that are making you your own worse emeny. No one here has said to "quit your bitching" - we have said if you want to be in love and have a good job that is of course possible - PEOPLE DO IT EVERY DAY. But YOU have to do some things differently than you are doing them now.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
