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When did I equate murder with cheating? One is clearly a bigger offense than the other. But cheating is hardly a trivial offense and there's nothing overly self-righteous in judging someone for being unfaithful. BTW, I don't need you to explain why people cheat. We all know why they do it. Because they lack morals. If you're not happy, divorce. If you're horny, sleep with your wife or go solo. But don't claim to be dumb and weak.
Denny,
I think you pretend to know people better than you actually do.
What are your thoughts? Would you cover for a friend who cheated? Would you still be friends with them? How much are you willing to forgive your friends for and what point do you say "this is not the kind of person I feel good calling my friend"?
I don't cover for friends. We're all grown women now. Don't bring me into your BS and I won't bring you into mine.
Yes, I would still be friends with them. Me and my friends go back 25-30 years. Like I previously mentioned, as long as they don't drag me into their BS, we're cool. I may not agree with it, but we'd still be cool. Believe me, we've gone through MUCH worse.
What are your thoughts? Would you cover for a friend who cheated? Would you still be friends with them? How much are you willing to forgive your friends for and what point do you say "this is not the kind of person I feel good calling my friend"?
I would never cover for a friend who cheats on their spouse. I would actually stop being friends with someone who would do such a thing. Ive posted about it in the past on a thread were one of my friends were telling me that he had an opportunity presented to him where he could cheat on his wife with some woman and I told him "I would never speak to you again if you cheat on your wife and our friendship would come to an end".
I take great pride in surrounding myself with people who are just like me who place great importance on character and virtues. I would just not associate with or allow within my close circle of friends, someone who is of questionable character. Cheating on your spouse is a definite "no no" and is not something that a true "friend" would condone or cover for.
This is a lame argument. No matter how close I am to my friends, there are things about them I will never know. For example, I might never know that one of my friends has a weird fetish or is a closet fan of Grey's Anatomy. But people who are good friends should know enough about each other's character. I have a friend who's a lawyer. I don't know what he does at his job, but I know enough to know he's not the type of person who would break the law to win a case. You make the point that you only turn your back on a friend if they do something extreme. Well, IMO, cheating on your SO is extreme. When you make the decision to cheat, you're making the decision to hurt another person. And I'd have a hard time being friends with someone who would deliberately hurt another person in such a despicable way.
How is it lame? Because I dissected your statements with my own opinion? I'm simply stating how I feel about the topic, there is no right or wrong to be had here.
Cheating is typically not an intentional method of hurting another person. In some cases maybe, but most times it's done for reasons of temptation, vanity or loneliness. Not saying these are good reasons to cheat, but there are shades of grey here, not all cheaters are cut from the same cloth nor do they cheat for the same reasons. I could care less what moral standards you use to judge your friends, but to assume that all of us who choose to remain friends with someone who cheated are lacking some sort of moral code is wrong.
I would never cover for a friend who cheats on their spouse. I would actually stop being friends with someone who would do such a thing. Ive posted about it in the past on a thread were one of my friends were telling me that he had an opportunity presented to him where he could cheat on his wife with some woman and I told him "I would never speak to you again if you cheat on your wife and our friendship would come to an end".
I take great pride in surrounding myself with people who are just like me who place great importance on character and virtues. I would just not associate with or allow within my close circle of friends, someone who is of questionable character. Cheating on your spouse is a definite "no no" and is not something that a true "friend" would condone or cover for.
Finally someone else who understands what I'm saying. Like you, I take great pride in surrounding myself with people I'd be proud to call my friends. A lot of the previous posters have said they would never cover for a friend who cheated, but they would continue being friends with them. If I had to abandon a friendship, especially one I've had for a long time, I wouldn't do so easily. But I don't see how I could be friends with someone who I not only no longer respect, but in some ways disgusts me. It's sad that cheating has become so common that it no longer offends some people and has turned into something that people can overlook or dismiss by saying, "it's none of my business." Who you keep as friends is your business. And their behavior is a reflection on you because you're the one who chose to keep them as a friend despite knowing the kind of person they are.
How is it lame? Because I dissected your statements with my own opinion? I'm simply stating how I feel about the topic, there is no right or wrong to be had here.
Cheating is typically not an intentional method of hurting another person. In some cases maybe, but most times it's done for reasons of temptation, vanity or loneliness. Not saying these are good reasons to cheat, but there are shades of grey here, not all cheaters are cut from the same cloth nor do they cheat for the same reasons. I could care less what moral standards you use to judge your friends, but to assume that all of us who choose to remain friends with someone who cheated are lacking some sort of moral code is wrong.
Oh please. It's intentional. You don't accidentally cheat. We're all subjected to temptation. We all feel loneliness. And we all suffer from low self-worth at times. But we also have self-control and are fully capable of exercising restraint. When you finally do go through with it, you know what you're doing. And if you're doing it with the full knowledge that you're betraying another person, then you are hurting them even if that's not the primary goal.
IMO its not up to me to "forgive" a friend if he/she cheats. It is their business. Yes I would NOT encourage the behavior, but the behavior is theirs and not for me to pass judgement on.
Oh please. It's intentional. You don't accidentally cheat. We're all subjected to temptation. We all feel loneliness. And we all suffer from low self-worth at times. But we also have self-control and are fully capable of exercising restraint. When you finally do go through with it, you know what you're doing. And if you're doing it with the full knowledge that you're betraying another person, then you are hurting them even if that's not the primary goal.
I didn't say cheating was accidental. The cheating is intentional, but most of them didn't seek out another partner with the intention of hurting their SO. Regardless, I have friends who I would not drop just because they cheated on their spouse. I guess we can agree to disagree on this one since neither of us is going to change our minds on the topic.
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