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Old 07-04-2009, 02:04 AM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,229 posts, read 16,914,980 times
Reputation: 6641

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My boyfriend has been pushing me to become friendly with his cousin's girlfriend. She seems like a nice girl and if she wasn't dating his cousin I would probably hang out with her.

This was always a sticky issue for me because my boyfriend has had several friends who were stuck in playa mode and would rotate girls like a Ferris Wheel. So I never became close to any of them because how can I be a real friend if I'm not telling you "Sorry, you're just the Tuesday, Wednesday chick. he had somebody else over here last night" There were other times my boyfriend would tell me something and I couldn't go tell them because it was something I really wasn't supposed to know in the first place.

And then one year I had a birthday party and invited one of the girlfriend's I'd become close to, not knowing they had broken up. She showed up with another guy and it almost ruined the party.

So I'm a little hesitant about becoming friend's with this girl and he says I'm being silly....any feedback?
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Old 07-04-2009, 02:20 AM
 
11,593 posts, read 12,105,145 times
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What does he gain from buddying you up? Does he get a commission or something?
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Old 07-04-2009, 02:41 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,229 posts, read 16,914,980 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by temptation001 View Post
What does he gain from buddying you up? Does he get a commission or something?
I think that the girlfriend has an issue with the amount of time her bf spends hanging out, so I'm assuming that they think if she's hanging out with me she'll stop nagging him. That's my take on it anyway - he says he just thought we would get along
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Old 07-04-2009, 02:45 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,226 posts, read 15,089,002 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by natalayjones View Post
My boyfriend has been pushing me to become friendly with his cousin's girlfriend. She seems like a nice girl and if she wasn't dating his cousin I would probably hang out with her.

This was always a sticky issue for me because my boyfriend has had several friends who were stuck in playa mode and would rotate girls like a Ferris Wheel. So I never became close to any of them because how can I be a real friend if I'm not telling you "Sorry, you're just the Tuesday, Wednesday chick. he had somebody else over here last night" There were other times my boyfriend would tell me something and I couldn't go tell them because it was something I really wasn't supposed to know in the first place.

And then one year I had a birthday party and invited one of the girlfriend's I'd become close to, not knowing they had broken up. She showed up with another guy and it almost ruined the party.

So I'm a little hesitant about becoming friend's with this girl and he says I'm being silly....any feedback?
You mentioned his friends were players but is his cousin is a player?
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Old 07-04-2009, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,229 posts, read 16,914,980 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
You mentioned his friends were players but is his cousin is a player?
I don't really know his cousin that well. He was over a lot though during the NBA thingy that was going on last month and now they have this hour-long football championships on the 360 but other than that I've never really spent any time with him. But his girl would call, 4 and 5 times - sometimes back to back, to see when he was coming home. I just don't have energy right now to be her distraction.
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Old 07-04-2009, 09:51 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
283 posts, read 683,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by natalayjones View Post
I think that the girlfriend has an issue with the amount of time her bf spends hanging out, so I'm assuming that they think if she's hanging out with me she'll stop nagging him. That's my take on it anyway - he says he just thought we would get along
My husband tried this when we were dating, and finally gave up. Once his friends began to get married, I took more of an interest in getting to know their wives because I figured they would stick around for awhile, where his single friends were just jumping from girl to girl and I could never keep up with who was still dating this one or that. But, I have yet to get really close to any of the wives. I am great at being "cordial", though, and that is all he asks of me anymore. But, I hate being used as a distraction so he and his friends have more time to do their little boy things.
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Old 07-05-2009, 12:36 AM
 
11,593 posts, read 12,105,145 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by natalayjones View Post
I don't really know his cousin that well. He was over a lot though during the NBA thingy that was going on last month and now they have this hour-long football championships on the 360 but other than that I've never really spent any time with him. But his girl would call, 4 and 5 times - sometimes back to back, to see when he was coming home. I just don't have energy right now to be her distraction.


Sounds like hes trying to kill 2 birds with one stone.
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Old 07-05-2009, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,229 posts, read 16,914,980 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeninmt View Post
But, I hate being used as a distraction so he and his friends have more time to do their little boy things.
I think that's what it really boils down to. They figure if I keep her busy she won't care that they're engaged in some 16 hour male bonding thing
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Old 07-05-2009, 05:54 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,226 posts, read 15,089,002 times
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I dunno, if you really think he's just using you to get her off his cousin's back, there's a lot more to be concerned about than babysitting.

Men want their bonding time and there is nothing wrong with that. If she is one of those gals who can't give him time alone without blowing up his phone, I'd want to stay away too. But I'd be angry if my guy wanted to dump her on me just to help his cousin out. Cousin needs to be a man and put her in her place or kick her to the curb. She's not your problem.
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Old 07-05-2009, 06:12 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,229 posts, read 16,914,980 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
But I'd be angry if my guy wanted to dump her on me just to help his cousin out.
I think the two of them are on some little kid stuff. You know how when two little girls try to hook their single parents up so they can be sisters and play all day? I think my bf thinks if I become super close to this girl, then he and his cousin can play all day, because he does go home after she's called a couple of times.

I agree with you though, she's not my problem; I already have a baby I'm not about to try to entertain a grown woman. LOL I asked him why she doesn't have any friends of her own and he said "because she never goes anywhere without Chris" yeaaaa okay that situation sounds like one I wanna get mixed up in.
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