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Old 07-05-2009, 12:52 PM
 
Location: far away in Europe
109 posts, read 274,026 times
Reputation: 79

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How do you keep up faith that you'll meet someone decent to grow old with ?

Even if there are days when I don't think about that at all, there are other days when I can't help but noticing how my friends are either by themselves and live isolated lives or in couples and don't go out much (no one can introduce me to anyone else).

Online has not been fruitful until now, except for plain sex offers which are not what I'm looking for. Clubs and bars address quite the same objectives, it seldom happens to find a SO there.

Currently without a job too, so again a bad point. Struggling to get a new job, but that would take care of just the money & job aspect.

On top of that, I sometimes feel like it's a test against a chronometer ... I know I'll be criticized for this by a few ladies who are strong enough to not care about time - but I am not that strong AND my eyes are wide open to the fact that there is a double standard concerning age and the standard IS THERE and that's that.

What do you tell yourself to motivate yourself to think positively and not settle for much less than you would like?
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Old 07-05-2009, 01:02 PM
 
3,219 posts, read 6,028,155 times
Reputation: 1845
Quote:
Originally Posted by crossing over View Post
How do you keep up faith that you'll meet someone decent to grow old with ?

Even if there are days when I don't think about that at all, there are other days when I can't help but noticing how my friends are either by themselves and live isolated lives or in couples and don't go out much (no one can introduce me to anyone else).

Online has not been fruitful until now, except for plain sex offers which are not what I'm looking for. Clubs and bars address quite the same objectives, it seldom happens to find a SO there.

Currently without a job too, so again a bad point. Struggling to get a new job, but that would take care of just the money & job aspect.

On top of that, I sometimes feel like it's a test against a chronometer ... I know I'll be criticized for this by a few ladies who are strong enough to not care about time - but I am not that strong AND my eyes are wide open to the fact that there is a double standard concerning age and the standard IS THERE and that's that.

What do you tell yourself to motivate yourself to think positively and not settle for much less than you would like?
We all will die alone even though some may have someone next to them when it happens.

So I try to live as best and happily as I can every day.

Also there's no guarantee that a marriage/relationship (especially these days) will last so to have companionship in ones elder years.
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Old 07-05-2009, 02:53 PM
 
943 posts, read 2,106,231 times
Reputation: 519
Yes marriage is no guarantee against a lonely old age.

even if you do not end up divorced, they can die before you do.

I'm facing my lonely old age now.
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Old 07-05-2009, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,583 posts, read 38,044,861 times
Reputation: 13361
The OP has no idea how incredibly, truly lucky he is NOT to be coupled up with somebody. Singleness ..... it just seems to be wasted on people who can't appreciate it.
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Old 07-05-2009, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,246 posts, read 92,463,477 times
Reputation: 40034
Quote:
Originally Posted by crossing over View Post
How do you keep up faith that you'll meet someone decent to grow old with ?

Even if there are days when I don't think about that at all, there are other days when I can't help but noticing how my friends are either by themselves and live isolated lives or in couples and don't go out much (no one can introduce me to anyone else).

Online has not been fruitful until now, except for plain sex offers which are not what I'm looking for. Clubs and bars address quite the same objectives, it seldom happens to find a SO there.

Currently without a job too, so again a bad point. Struggling to get a new job, but that would take care of just the money & job aspect.

On top of that, I sometimes feel like it's a test against a chronometer ... I know I'll be criticized for this by a few ladies who are strong enough to not care about time - but I am not that strong AND my eyes are wide open to the fact that there is a double standard concerning age and the standard IS THERE and that's that.

What do you tell yourself to motivate yourself to think positively and not settle for much less than you would like?

It is natural for you to feel you want a partner to grow older with - many of us want that and I want you to find it

Here's the thing, you have to try to quit worrying so much about this and get out there and live your life to the fullest. Doing THAT will give you a much higher probability of meeting someone you have things in common with, which is more likely to lead to a long term relationship.

You really have to make the effort to join more groups and take up some new hobbies okay? There are tons of activities that anyone could do that would put you in group situations. The more you do, the more you increase your chances you'll meet that special someone. Staying at home, or on the computer all the time will only lead to you spending a lot of time alone. You HAVE to get out among people
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Old 07-05-2009, 09:20 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 82,144,912 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
Singleness ..... it just seems to be wasted on people who can't appreciate it.
Well, I hope your wishes come true and can't wait to see how much you'll appreciate it!
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Old 07-05-2009, 09:23 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,583 posts, read 38,044,861 times
Reputation: 13361
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Well, I hope your wishes come true and can't wait to see how much you'll appreciate it!
If it doesn't work out for me, then I will definitely appreciate being single. It's all in how you feel about yourself.
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Old 07-05-2009, 09:24 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 82,144,912 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by twinkle toes View Post
if it doesn't work out for me, then i will definitely appreciate being single. It's all in how you feel about yourself.
ok...
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Old 07-06-2009, 04:02 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,226 posts, read 15,095,283 times
Reputation: 9127
I think so much energy is spent worrying about the future and outside opinion that the value of now is lost. If you want to find someone to grow old with, let it be because it is what you want, not what the masses dictate regarding how old is too old, or how you should spend your golden years. For now, work on what you can, and it will all fall into place later.
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Old 07-06-2009, 12:06 PM
 
943 posts, read 2,106,231 times
Reputation: 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
The OP has no idea how incredibly, truly lucky he is NOT to be coupled up with somebody. Singleness ..... it just seems to be wasted on people who can't appreciate it.
The happiest old people I have known are ones involved with community and friends.

They do volunteer work etc.

No one should depend on just one person in life, so this idea marriage will save from lonlieness too is a false misnomer.
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