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My advice is to make sure you do nothing that you will regreatt later. At some poit you will need to come to terms with teh divorce and still feel good about yourself.Its easy to decide to get revenge during the process but that usaully end with both coming out with little and never coming to terms long after they except the fact.
He never implied anything about revenge.
But, I do think he needs to be a little bit more selfish than he is probably used to being - because you can bet the wife is going to be a thousand times more selfish.
Location: Greater Los Angeles area (unfortunately)
177 posts, read 757,241 times
Reputation: 173
I'm the OP, here to give a little more background on the situation. So to add drama to the mix, you should all know that I'm a woman, married to another woman. We did it in CA when it was legally valid, so she IS my legal wife (we're one of those 18,000 couples protected from Prop 8). I didn't say it at the beginning because I wanted to get as many opinions as possible without bringing a whole debate into the mix. (Nor will I debate or respond to negative hate speech, so please don't waste your time or my time with that.)
Anyway, I really don't think she did this all for alimony. I make almost no money, we have been dividing expenses with her using savings (since she's going to school) and me working my two jobs, but I really do NOT make a significant amount. I don't really understand how courts typically award alimony between two women, if they do at all, but from what I've read it seems that you usually need to be married for like ten years in CA before it becomes an issue.
I am trying to make the split happen amicably, but it is just so hard for me. It's also important for me to remain on good terms because I want visitation with the dogs.
So...I am basically just trying to stop missing her so much.
I'm the OP, here to give a little more background on the situation. So to add drama to the mix, you should all know that I'm a woman, married to another woman.
Yeah, That "little" maybe conveniently omitted tidbit would've lessened the time wasted from the responders to this thread including myself.
I have no comment of what is to happen as I'm not educated enough to know what happens in same-sex couple split-up and or divorce.
Maybe someone else if they feel like responding after they responded without that "same-sex" info you finally told us now.
Location: Greater Los Angeles area (unfortunately)
177 posts, read 757,241 times
Reputation: 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by njguy
[/u][/b]
Yeah, That "little" maybe conveniently omitted tidbit would've lessened the time wasted from the responders to this thread including myself.
I wasn't conveniently omitting. I never said anything about what I was, so don't fault me for your own assumptions. I don't know why you think my situation is any less valid now, but oh well.
And "time wasted"? Isn't that ANY time you respond to a forum? Still takes the same amount of time to choose to respond to something.
I wasn't conveniently omitting. I never said anything about what I was, so don't fault me for your own assumptions. I don't know why you think my situation is any less valid now, but oh well.
And "time wasted"? Isn't that ANY time you respond to a forum? Still takes the same amount of time to choose to respond to something.
Well when someone makes a post like your opening one, one will assume that it'll be the majority type of marriage/union between a Man and a female. That marriage arrangement IS the majority in this country at least.
You can roll your eyes all you want, but that doesn't change one iota what I said.
I'm sure that they'll be others that'll agree with me.
I never said that your situation isn't or less valid, just that we we're a bit misled from the getgo.
My wife wants to divorce me. She dropped the bomb two days ago. I am overwhelmed with emotions. I just want to know something I can do when I get lonely and want to reach out to her. I have been relying on my friends and family. I just want help for when I sit at work and think about her and miss her.
My heart is torn out of my chest.
I don't really know what else to say. I just want some encouraging words...people say it will get better but I feel like it won't...
it will get better and the one thing I remember most about divorce, is it brings the worst out in people, and sometimes, you can't believe this person your divorcing, they are like strangers or someone you never knew...sometimes when you think you've lost something, you've really won a great deal more. Other doors will open, allow yourself time to grieve, and them try real hard to move on.
Location: Greater Los Angeles area (unfortunately)
177 posts, read 757,241 times
Reputation: 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rance
Just how does one determine who is the wife? Are you both considered a wife? This is all new to me.
Well, under CA law, the forms we filled out say "PARTNER A" and "PARTNER B". So I think we are just equal partners in the marriage, with no specifically designated wife. There were spots in the forms where either of us could change our name.
As far as getting over missing her...thats gonna be tough. You'll have to occupy your self with something. Hobbies, work, take a vacation, anything to distract yourself.
As far as getting over missing her...thats gonna be tough. You'll have to occupy your self with something. Hobbies, work, take a vacation, anything to distract yourself.
hobbies are great fillers physical excercise hobbies crafts music.
excellent post.
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