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Old 07-08-2009, 03:08 AM
 
18,270 posts, read 14,396,687 times
Reputation: 12985

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He did.

After 8 months of dating and a year of knowing each other, he said we weren't compatible. He says "God Bless. Bye" Over an e-mail.

When I asked to speak to him, he said we were just not compatible and "let this be our last contact, or the one where you respond."

The breakup in itself was not the cruel part, it was the sudden way he did it and the way he did it. Without even a single explanation.

I could sit here and wonder forever what happened, but all I really know for sure is that he's not a good man. No matter what he tells himself so he can sleep soundly. People don't do that to each other. If you break up, do it decently. Speak whats on your mind. Otherwise you are just asking for some serious problems later on. The desire to hurt him, is still there, so who knows what will happen.
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Old 07-08-2009, 07:33 AM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
17,997 posts, read 9,032,016 times
Reputation: 5943
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
I get the negative/positive thing, but a gift is given in the spirit of generosity, not in expectation of something in return. Regardless, there is something very wrong with showering her with necklaces, jewelry and gift cards in just 3 months of being together, then gripe that she was cheap? Ridiculous. You'd be lucky if I remembered your birthday in that short a time span.
The gifts were for Halloween,Thanksgiving,Christmas and Valentines Day. I can't exactlty say I was expecting something in return because it was the holidays. I am the type of person who showers their SO with gifts. IMHO it was like she was going out of her way to be cheap. For Valentines Day she got me chocolates from Dollar General. She knew I couldn't have chocolate. I got her a $50 gift card to Ulta. A high end cosmetic store.
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Old 07-08-2009, 08:04 AM
ECG
 
Location: In the minds of others
42,606 posts, read 2,742,295 times
Reputation: 10416
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
I have always been curious as to why relationships don't work out and I wonder if we all break up over the same things.

Sometimes I try and ask people but I'm told the same line; "well, it just did not work out, he/she was crazy... ect, ect... ...

So my question is, during your last relationship that did not work out what exactly was the problem and who decided break off the relationship?
I did...

I broke my last relationship I had about 9 months ago, I found the guy to be to self absorbed on himself...If he can't be there for me when I need him...I do not need him at all.
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Old 07-08-2009, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
10,172 posts, read 20,742,717 times
Reputation: 19861
The biggest cause of my former relationships ending was usually due to the person's true self bubbling to the surface over the course of weeks or months. In the beginning most people are on their best behavior, hiding their flaws and trying to make a good impression. But that farce can only be kept up for so long before the real you begins to shine. That's when you start seeing things that their physical beauty cannot compensate for, and it's time to part ways.
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Old 07-08-2009, 08:12 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh's 'EAST SIDE'
2,043 posts, read 5,044,059 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post

So my question is, during your last relationship that did not work out what exactly was the problem and who decided break off the relationship?
He was too regimented for me. Never liked to do anything that might interfere with him going to bed at his STRICT bed time (11 p.m.), or anything that might cut into his time at the gym, even if it meant that he'd be a half hour off track.

He also was EXTREMELY shy and introverted around other people who weren't his friends and family. When I would invite him around MY friends and family, he would sit there and hardly initiate conversation with anyone. People would always come up to me and be like "what's wrong with him"??? He came off weird to other people.

He also would try to mold me into someone I wasn't. Like I said, in another thread, similar to this, I like to crack jokes and have fun and laugh when I start drinking alcohol. Its never to the point where I would embarrass myself or him. I know how to handle mine. He would always be counting the number of drinks I had and tell me to slow down and all of that. It just seemed like I couldn't be myself around him and I never quite felt comfortable being with him.

In the end, it didn't work out. We weren't on the same page.
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Old 07-08-2009, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,466,787 times
Reputation: 14692
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
I have always been curious as to why relationships don't work out and I wonder if we all break up over the same things.

Sometimes I try and ask people but I'm told the same line; "well, it just did not work out, he/she was crazy... ect, ect... ...

So my question is, during your last relationship that did not work out what exactly was the problem and who decided break off the relationship?
He cheated. The first time, he broke up with me to be with her then decided she was not me (That's almost identical to what my husband said hwen he came back....kind of scary...). The second time, I left. He kept trying to get back in my life but I figured I was in for a lifetime of being cheated on if I stayed with him so I wasn't buying.
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:25 AM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,616,747 times
Reputation: 7711
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
The most successful relationships are those in which each partner brings out the best in the other - if you are too alike you really can't do that.
I agree. I dated someone who was a lot like me. At first, it was great. But I quickly realized she had a lot of the same negative qualities as me. You don't want to be around someone who just reinforces the things about you that you don't like.
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:47 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,517,749 times
Reputation: 9174
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdude View Post
The gifts were for Halloween,Thanksgiving,Christmas and Valentines Day. I can't exactlty say I was expecting something in return because it was the holidays. I am the type of person who showers their SO with gifts. IMHO it was like she was going out of her way to be cheap. For Valentines Day she got me chocolates from Dollar General. She knew I couldn't have chocolate. I got her a $50 gift card to Ulta. A high end cosmetic store.
If you choose to shower your SO with gifts, that is your decision. Christmas and Valentine's Day, sure. Halloween and Thanksgiving? Come on. Don't expect someone you've been with for 12 weeks to do the same (though Halloween and VD are 5 months apart, not 3). I wouldn't do it and I'd be wondering why you were. It's been my expereince that men who spend so much so soon are insecure and feel they need to buy affection.

There could have been other issues, but your approach would be a huge problem for a lot of women. Still, there's someone for everyone, I hope you find it.
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:59 AM
 
78,014 posts, read 60,221,209 times
Reputation: 49404
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
I have always been curious as to why relationships don't work out and I wonder if we all break up over the same things.

Sometimes I try and ask people but I'm told the same line; "well, it just did not work out, he/she was crazy... ect, ect... ...

So my question is, during your last relationship that did not work out what exactly was the problem and who decided break off the relationship?
Hmmm...inability to accept that I was over my late wife, extreme jealousy (hers). She had a trail of bad relationships\choices and carried a lot of baggage from those.
Trouble balancing the amount of time we spent together.
Probably to some extent that she would create drama and I warned her that I was getting tired of it. That was the warning shot, she had major control issues and couldn't stand being dumped so she dumped me right after the warning shot. I kinda figured she would, glad she was the stronger of us to do what needed to be done, but still wasn't 100% happy with it at the time but it had to be done.

Thought about it for a week or so, realized that they were her issues and not mine (although I could have done some things better and learned from that)....started dating again and wish her the best in being happy. I still see her every couple months around town and am friendly. All told it was a great experience.
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Old 07-08-2009, 12:21 PM
 
Location: I'm around here someplace :)
3,633 posts, read 5,343,717 times
Reputation: 3980
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
I have always been curious as to why relationships don't work out and I wonder if we all break up over the same things.

Sometimes I try and ask people but I'm told the same line; "well, it just did not work out, he/she was crazy... ect, ect... ...

So my question is, during your last relationship that did not work out what exactly was the problem and who decided break off the relationship?
well, the individual liked the fact that I had a fairly good job... he also liked the fact that I used to be a sucker for those who'd go "but I have probbblems, won't you hellllp me?"
so, as basically his source of financial support & his healthcare proxy, I tolerated the bum for more than 2 years... when he decided he wanted to drink & do drugs, I left... unfortunately I came to this locale, sight-unseen, & have met nothing but "the same type" ever since...
however- when I made the resolve to not get mixed up with them anymore, that's when my nightmare really began.
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