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Well arent you contradicting yourself? You said your ex planned out the divorce without you having a clue. Apparently she knew exactly what her next move was.
I was just stupid plain and simple. I don't blame her. I should have known better. --I chose not to see the signs. I made the mistake at taking her at her word.---when I later questioned her bout it, she simply said--"I meant what I said when I said it" and that summed it up.
Are you trying to say that when women filed for only 28 percent of divorces it was because they were left with no choice, had to find a way out of a bad situation, and all these years later when women file for 70 percent of divorces -- it's the exact, same thing? Everything else changed for marriage and society, but NOT this?!?
Are you saying that previously women filed 28% of the time and currently 70%? I have not found any legit statistice on this, can you give me a link?
Im not sure I am reading your post right, but if the % are correct, I do believe women probably didnt file as much in the past due to the reasons you gave. If men were filing at a higher percentage I would guess most men were leaving for a different woman. Things were much harder for a divorced woman and they would more often accept things as they were. Where today women dont accept a bad marriage and dont hesitate to file. That is the difference. It seems the same today as far as men usually file only if they have found another woman.
Women have the reputation of being hard to figure, and mysterious.---It's just because they themselves don't have a clue what they will do next. Call it what you will.
As 2mares pointed out above, you've just contradicted yourself in the same thread. First, you say women have an advantage in divorce because they can plan all of their moves in advance. Now you say they don't have a clue what they will do next. Sounds like the only person who doesn't have women figured out is you. What I see is a person who thinks he understands women, but he really doesn't. So he claims they don't know themselves that well, but somehow, he being a mind reader, knows them better. Or maybe you just tell yourself that to feel superior.
Among the reasons offered for why women file more often than men, the most plausible ones are:
- Women are more financially independent and don't need to stay in a bad marriage to support themselves.
- There's less stigma attached to divorce. In the past, if you had kids and divorced your husband, you were branded. People would judge you to be a lousy wife and stay away from you. Now, women with kids are dating, even remarrying. So there's less risk in getting a divorce.
- Women expect more of their partners and are less willing to overlook certain things. In the past, you could've had a husband who treated you like a second-class citizen, took you for granted, and acted like he was the king of the castle. Girls were raised to believe this was acceptable. But times have changed and more and more women are expecting and demanding better treatment from their partners.
Are you saying that previously women filed 28% of the time and currently 70%? I have not found any legit statistice on this, can you give me a link?
Im not sure I am reading your post right, but if the % are correct, I do believe women probably didnt file as much in the past due to the reasons you gave. If men were filing at a higher percentage I would guess most men were leaving for a different woman. Things were much harder for a divorced woman and they would more often accept things as they were. Where today women dont accept a bad marriage and dont hesitate to file. That is the difference. It seems the same today as far as men usually file only if they have found another woman.
Hmm... Prejudicial bias there, maybe just a smidge?
I'll look around for some stats to back it up.
In the meantime, are you saying 70 percent of men are the cheaters and/or abusers (trying to cover the bases here) in marriage and that's the reason for this sort of disparity today, even discounting any percentage stats from forty years ago?
When one side wants it all because her attorney says she could get it, no matter how great his attorney is = he loses because of how it's rigged here in NJ (and I imagine in other states as well) even though the law(s) say otherwise. Mediation or not he loses especially in the Occupied Kangaroo Divorce Courts of Corrupt New Jersey.
This is why my choice of never marrying, co-habiting with a female and or producing offspring.
I'm only discussing so this is NOT personal towards anyone here.
You are wise in your decision. I dont know about laws in other states, but you either agree to demands, negociate or it goes before a judge. Most divorces dont go to trial. As I stated judges are unpredictable and that is the point at which most will get screwed.
Hmm... Prejudicial bias there, maybe just a smidge?
I'll look around for some stats to back it up.
In the meantime, are you saying 70 percent of men are the cheaters and/or abusers (trying to cover the bases here) in marriage and that's the reason for this sort of disparity today, even discounting any percentage stats from forty years ago?
Does that make sense to you, really?
I dont think I am being biased, it just the way it seems to me. Im talking about 40+ years ago. I dont know the stats so I may very well be wrong. Just based on situations of previous generations I know of indirectly, gossip, and heaven forbid old TV programs, women stayed married even in situations of adultry and abuse. Men only left their families because of another woman.
No I dont believe 70% of men are cheaters, more like 50%, LOL. I do believe women cheat as much as men, but I dont really think cheating is the #1 factor in divorce.
I will say my stats are WAY off according to the statistic sources I've found so far (US Census).
I'm running calculations now and will post, but it seems that female petitions for divorce have, at least since 1900, heavily outweighed male petitions for divorce. By what percentages are what I'm calculating.
Now I need to find stats on REASONS behind petitions.
I will say my stats are WAY off according to the statistic sources I've found so far (US Census).
I'm running calculations now and will post, but it seems that female petitions for divorce have, at least since 1900, heavily outweighed male petitions for divorce. By what percentages are what I'm calculating.
Now I need to find stats on REASONS behind petitions.
Have you checked the CDC website? They usually maintain marriage/divorce stats but I'm not sure they will have exactly what you're looking for.
I personally don't know any men who have ever taken custody during a divorce.
Nor do I know any women who've ever had to pay alimony or child support.
I personally don't know any men who have ever taken custody during a divorce. A lot of men do NOT want the baggage of children...they complicate their social life if they have them every day AND nights...They've never had to get the kids up and off for school, cook and clean for them, etc.
Nor do I know any women who've ever had to pay alimony or child support.I know SEVERAL women who pay child support! Not alimony, but child support....and have it taken out of their paychecks so that it is always paid.
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