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The fact that you describe me as having a woman's voice shows how insecure you are. There's nothing male or female about the opinions I've offered. What I argue for is mutual respect. Maybe in your mind, labeling me as having a woman's voice is a slam. Thankfully, my self-esteem is healthy enough to withstand such "locker room" put-downs. And I don't worry how many people here agree or disagree with me.
Of course me telling you that you are a womans voice isnt a put down. It just is. You are a woman's voice. Women say the same thing you do. I certainly dont hear men complaining that they are two minute men, or selfish in bed, or have fragile egos. You speak for women, and that should be a source of pride for you if you are going to do it. Some would even say it is a noble cause.
I personally feel that there is nothing wrong with being the male voice of women. Unless you think there is. Again, it just is.
My perspective is rather simple. Men don't usually file for divorce, they cheat. Men have no problem having separate relationships with different women. Men add women while woman swap out for a better man. Woman usually can only deal with two men. The one she is leaving and the one she is going towards. A woman with anywhere from 1-100 men tends to do little to reproductive capacity. The other way around can give rise to a platoon.
My perspective is rather simple. Men don't usually file for divorce, they cheat. Men have no problem having separate relationships with different women. Men add women while woman swap out for a better man. Woman usually can only deal with two men. The one she is leaving and the one she is going towards. A woman with anywhere from 1-100 men tends to do little to reproductive capacity. The other way around can give rise to a platoon.
Thriving young would have a better chance with multiple potentials, rather than scarce donars.
]I wrote the last paragraph years ago in a thread about polygamy, but find it to be very suitable for this thread as well. We have got to fix our sexual relationships with our spouses, but if it is an agreed upon decision to not have sex then go for it. People are doing what they want to do in their marriages and this is exactly why I did not become a Counselor for married folk!! The institution of marriage is quite embarrassing and if we were living by the words of the blueprint created by the Master then marriages would not be based on societies rules, but based on what the Creator said they should be. I will post other responses to this same topic later.
I agree that women will divorce primarily because she is not in need of a man. Most women will take the hard fall and not worry about their egos, unlike the man. His marriage, house, children, job, are usually his identity. Most times women will rebuild themselves very nicely after a divorce too. GOD said that the man needed a woman. A woman needs a man to have children with, but not a man to identify who she is. A man carries a woman has part of his identification in the world. He made Eve for Adam, not Adam for Eve.
There are many marriages in our country that are sexless marriages. This type of marriage is not biblical, yet we practice it and if you are not with any health condition that prevents you from engaging in an intimate relationship with your spouse-then why are we not being submissive to one another? Health conditions or mental blocks from wanting to engage in sex can be fixed too, but many choose to just complain about how they are not attracted, yet they want their spouse to remain faithful. How unfair and selfish is this act? Could physical attraction no longer exist? Do we work so hard that we do not have any energy left to engage in a healthy physical relationship with our mate? Are the children preventing you from showing physical love to your mate because of their needs? So what are these types of marriages based on? Economics, friendship, children, commitment to the wedding vows, etc. Yet these excuses are justified and prevail in heterosexual marriages. I am sure it works for many couples who have a shared understanding about their non-participation in having a sexual relationship. What about those that do not? Justified excuses for sexless marriages could be that the spouse is suffering from mental, emotional, or physical abusive behaviors or acts by their mate, but this situation must be addressed by counseling or divorce.
Thriving young would have a better chance with multiple potentials, rather than scarce donars.
Hi Braunwyn,
Yeah but its a far weaker process I think. Though sperm actually do battle it out I recall a woman saying. She was in med school. I should get around to verify that. Other animals do have what are known as plugs.
Yeah but its a far weaker process I think. Though sperm actually do battle it out I recall a woman saying. She was in med school. I should get around to verify that. Other animals do have what are known as plugs.
I'm not speaking of sperm, but of physical presence. Humans, unlike many animals, have a very long youth period. It takes us years to become self-sufficient. The more potential/possible fathers in the picture for one child (while not knowing who's the actual donar) would provide more protection for survival. OTOH, simple donars will leave off spring vulnerable.
I'm not speaking of sperm, but of physical presence. Humans, unlike many animals, have a very long youth period. It takes us years to become self-sufficient. The more potential/possible fathers in the picture for one child (while not knowing who's the actual donar) would provide more protection for survival. OTOH, simple donars will leave off spring vulnerable.
Hi Braunwyn,
Its the opposite effect. Most males will not invest in an offspring that is not certainly theirs. I cannot think of where your example exists in nature. The closest would be brothers such as cheetahs who don't mind sharing the mating but don't hang around to raise any young. That is why female promiscuity lowers a woman's status. Its always low investment strategy with multiple males with comparatively low status females. Men don't put the offspring of a prostitute through college.
Its the opposite effect. Most males will not invest in an offspring that is not certainly theirs. I cannot think of where your example exists in nature. The closest would be brothers such as cheetahs who don't mind sharing the mating but don't hang around to raise any young. That is why female promiscuity lowers a woman's status. Its always low investment strategy with multiple males with comparatively low status females. Men don't put the offspring of a prostitute through college.
Donars don't put anybody through college (last I knew). Donars don't hang around long enought to even get an idea if the seed caught.They would never know. It makes more sense to stick around if survival is what matters.
Right YOU have determined that withholding sex doesnt qualify as being inconsiderate. That is your own double standard. You are essentially defining what is inconsiderate and what isnt. When the reality is that ANYTIME a partner is unwilling to compromise they are inconsiderate(whether withholding sex, or being selfish in bed). If one partner withholding sex, or refusing to please their partner is not inconsiderate, then it wouldnt be inconsiderate if their husband or wife is selfish in bed. There is no way that the logic behind one doesnt precede the other.
And your movie analogy is a poor one. Relationships are more than sex and movies. Some things will require his compromise and some things will require hers. You are only advocating that one party compromise in the interest of being considerate. THAT is selfish.
So anytime a partner is unwilling to compromise, they're being inconsiderate? Did it ever occur to you that there are some things that, by their very nature, you can't compromise on? You can compromise on movies, but you can't compromise on sex. Suppose my wife wants to have an open relationship and I don't? How do we compromise? If you can't compromise on something, then the solution is obvious. Don't do anything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by solytaire
Im speaking on behalf of fairness and compromise within relationships. Your narrowminded juvenile outlook has precluded you from arguing in the interest of equality. I personally would never demand that my partner have sex with me if she was sick, ill, or tired etc. Thats because I would be CONSIDERATE AND COMPROMISE my own urges for hers.. I am saying that there are times that she would be required to do the same. Period. 100/100. And if she cant also be considerate and compromise at times, then there is no point in expecting me to constantly forgo my own desires.
How noble of you? You're willing to skip a night of sex cause your wife is tired. That's not compromising. That's just being understanding of your partner's wishes. The fact that you view that as a compromise is very telling. If I want to go out to dinner and my wife doesn't and then I agree to stay home, I don't view that as a compromise.
Quote:
Originally Posted by solytaire
On the other hand, if my wife is selfless enough to understand my urges or please me when I asked her to, I would certainly be considerate enough to please her and/or understand when she doesnt want to have sex. If each partner is considerate of the other, then neither should feel slighted.
Your notion of compromise astounds me. So in exchange for having sex when you're in the mood, you're willing to not have it when she's tired? And that's your idea of consideration? LOL. And women complain that all the good men are taken.
Quote:
Originally Posted by solytaire
Free will is a pretty simple concept. But its also a UNIVERSAL concept. What is her free will, is also his free will. Withholding sex is obviously inconsiderate if your partner wants to have sex. You havent explained how it is anymore inconsiderate for a man to be selfish in bed than it is for a woman who selfishly does not have sex with her husband.
As soon as you can explain this imbalance in how you make provisions for "free will" and/or stop pouting like a manchild and equally apply your own standards of consideration in a partnership, you'll have a fair outlook on sex. Otherwise your parochial bellyaching about how inconsiderate men are in bed, is only confounded by your failure to apply the same expectation of consideration to his spouse.
Free is a very simple concept, one which you seem to be unable to grasp. Her free will is also his free will? Since when is free will a symmetric concept? Your problem is that you keep equating the act of doing something with the act of not doing something. Your partner having sex with you even when she's not in the mood is NOT the same thing as you forgoing sex when she's tired, but somehow you think they are. So you can refer to me as a manchild or whatever insults you think bolster your argument, but it only reflects on you.
Of course me telling you that you are a womans voice isnt a put down. It just is. You are a woman's voice. Women say the same thing you do. I certainly dont hear men complaining that they are two minute men, or selfish in bed, or have fragile egos. You speak for women, and that should be a source of pride for you if you are going to do it. Some would even say it is a noble cause.
I personally feel that there is nothing wrong with being the male voice of women. Unless you think there is. Again, it just is.
Oh, so expressing views that happen to agree with what women say means I have a woman's voice? That's rich. I'm not seeking to speak for one gender or the other. What I am trying to do, however, is see things from a third-person viewpoint. The bottom line is that there are men who are 2-minute men. There are man who are selfish in bed. And there are men with fragile egos. Does that describe all men? No. But pointing out that such men exist isn't expressing a woman's voice. It's expressing an objective, gender-neutral voice.
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