Females. . .hypothetical situation - do you go out with him? (girl, husband)
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Since then, I give people a chance and reserve judgment!
Just because someone decides that you are not right for them, that is not "judging" you. The OP asked a question of us, and since we each have our own lives and situations, it's logical that we will have differing thoughts on what we would do.
Our responses are based on our own lives and situations. Your response is based on yours.
I don't think it shallow to want to date someone that has a similar attractiveness or smarts level, or being close to our equal financially. And I've never been in a desperate situation of loneliness where I needed to compromise my dating standards in order to find companionship.
Maybe this guy will find a nice lady at his trailer park to date.
I don't think it shallow to want to date someone that has a similar attractiveness or smarts level, or being close to our equal financially. And I've never been in a desperate situation of loneliness where I needed to compromise my dating standards in order to find companionship.
It's really not shallow. Men do it all the time in other ways. Just take a look at the thread about 'why fat singles don't try harder to be skinnier.' Men want to be attracted to their potential partner and have them be a size that is just right for them to be attracted - generally, women want security. So while many men will not even consider dating a woman who is 40+ pounds overweight. . . it's all the sudden horrible that women will not think about dating a man who makes 40K+ less than her??!?!
Double standard. That woman who is 40lbs over has as much potential to LOSE her weight as a man who makes 40K less than a woman to make MORE money in the future. So while I am "really charmed over" by all the talk of how love does not have a dollar sign and so forth, that's great talk in a perfect world, isn't it? Harlequin novels, maybe. . . A man that makes far less than a woman, can be taken that he is lazy and has reached his max potential. . . just the very same as a man sees an overweight woman being lazy and reaching hers! SAME thing, people. Now of course, we all know that it's untrue. . .a person can lose weight and a person can make more money. . . it's all about the motivation and desire. Either or - overweight or the man a woman sees as making far less than her. . both are unhealthy. Albeit the overweight has health risks - and a woman can see some unhealthy risks in the man who doesn't make much. Mental health risks from stress and anxiety - and could be physical health risks from being unable one day to not afford health care.
Fit/in shape people become accustomed to a certain lifestyle of activities that they enjoy that most overweight people do not get to enjoy (running, mountain climbing, water skiing, etc.) and these men in most cases want a woman who does not hide herself in her bathing suit with a baggy shirt. . . and the very same goes for those who have inclined incomes that those with lesser incomes do not get to enjoy. Women do not want to carry the burden for men. And hey - there are many men out there too who that want a woman who is financially stable with an inclining income, so this is not exactly gender based! But let's keep it focused on the women right now toward men. . .
Since when is it OK for in shape/fit people to put their foot down firmly that they will not accept someone into a romantic relationship based on weight (which can be lost) and it's not OK for women to want a man with a good, stable/inclining income (and for her not wanting to wait around months or years for that good income to come along and rough it til then)?!?!
BOTH have many risks and unhealthy circumstances for a relationship.
Last edited by JeepGirl118; 07-18-2009 at 07:44 PM..
He sounds sweet. Let him, and take him out on that date. Afterwards, insist with a capital I that you will pay next time and you won't let him bankrupt himself for your sake.
He sounds sweet. Let him, and take him out on that date. Afterwards, insist with a capital I that you will pay next time and you won't let him bankrupt himself for your sake.
The situation was NOT me. And you missed the end result posted earlier, silly.
Who cares how much a guy makes, or if he lives in a trailer or an apt! He works, and he's trying.
Frankly, many of us these days have to live paycheck to paycheck, we dont have the option of making a lot in these hard times. What would make us better than the next person? But in a way, Id feel intimidated if someone makes a kazillion more than me because I wouldnt want it to be used as leverage. Someone who knows what its like to be 'ghetto' might be easier to talk to, lol, you can speak their language. But again, its not about how little they might make or how they live, as long as theyre working and arent total slobs!
(Nothing intended to those who do well, but many out there seem to feel a person who does well is a better person which is sad. )
Who cares how much a guy makes, or if he lives in a trailer or an apt! He works, and he's trying.
Frankly, many of us these days have to live paycheck to paycheck, we dont have the option of making a lot in these hard times. What would make us better than the next person? But in a way, Id feel intimidated if someone makes a kazillion more than me because I wouldnt want it to be used as leverage. Someone who knows what its like to be 'ghetto' might be easier to talk to, lol, you can speak their language. But again, its not about how little they might make or how they live, as long as theyre working and arent total slobs!
(Nothing intended to those who do well, but many out there seem to feel a person who does well is a better person which is sad. )
I'm not interested in dating any man that is living in a trailer. I'm not dating any Walmart clerks either. It's not just that I have better dating choices, but frankly I have nothing in common with a man that lives in such a menial fashion. And with the added information that he has an arrest record and was under house arrest for a period of time, I do feel like a better person than he is.
As far as I am concerned, people may start out as equal at birth, but what they end up doing with their lives does affect how much respect I have for them. And I have very little respect for this particular man living in his trailer and living week to week. That's great that he seems like a nice sweet guy, but so are children and con artists. Any chronic "bad luck" this man may have had is only due to his lack of commonsense and poor life choices. I might consider being this man's casual friend and occasional lunch counter buddy, but never in a million years could he be my close friend and certainly not my romantic partner, not this man that wears short childrens shorts and flip flops on a date.
Yes, everyone deserves romantic love and a s/o, but he needs to find a woman that's more on his level.
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by all the talk of how love does not have a dollar sign and so forth, that's great talk in a perfect world, isn't it? Harlequin novels, maybe. . . A man that makes far less than a woman, can be taken that he is lazy and has reached his max potential. . . just the very same as a man sees an overweight woman being lazy and reaching hers! SAME thing, people. Now of course, we all know that it's untrue. . .a person can lose weight and a person can make more money. . . it's all about the motivation and desire. Either or - overweight or the man a woman sees as making far less than her. . both are unhealthy. Albeit the overweight has health risks - and a woman can see some unhealthy risks in the man who doesn't make much. Mental health risks from stress and anxiety - and could be physical health risks from being unable one day to not afford health care. 
Nice, sweet guys are hard to find!
