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Old 01-12-2011, 01:45 PM
 
545 posts, read 1,552,851 times
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Thank god my mom married someone ambitious.
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Old 01-13-2011, 12:20 AM
 
736 posts, read 1,689,597 times
Reputation: 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllAboutEve View Post
If you know you are like that, than why don't you try to change? Doesn't it bother you that you are not really striving for anything?
I'm still trying to figure out what exactly it is I'm "striving" for. Didn't bother me, until I read through this thread.
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Old 01-13-2011, 12:40 AM
 
7,492 posts, read 11,782,647 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry View Post
Its funny but often women will say that if a guy is still single by a certain age, then he's a bad bet.
If you ask me, some of the best guys are the ones that stayed single.
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Old 01-13-2011, 12:42 AM
 
7,492 posts, read 11,782,647 times
Reputation: 7394
I don't know if lack of ambition would really bother me as long as the person was happy with themselves and their life and were independent. Some people don't feel the need to be overachievers or even achievers and that's okay. The problems, for me, would arise from someone's goals (or lack of goals) not meshing with mine.
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Old 01-13-2011, 02:29 AM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,485 posts, read 7,270,536 times
Reputation: 2912
Plenty of people have ambition but probably few have enough skillz to execute. I would rather have somebody with realistic goals, who represent themselves realistically, and who actually reach those goals.
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Old 01-13-2011, 02:43 AM
 
16,433 posts, read 22,118,524 times
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My wife married one...
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:39 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 2,675,163 times
Reputation: 2157
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
And what exactly did you want her to do? Reinvent the hot water?! Learn to dance tribal dances?!

What's with all this "ambition"...?! If somebody has a decent education and a decent job paying him decent money, he's fine with me. I feel the same way about myself.



I love this story and have posted it before. Granted, there is a slight difference between fishing for fun and fishing for a living (the safety net is obviously missing), but it's essentially the same. Only that the fisherman has had a nice, easy, and fulfilling life all along whereas the big-time businessman has wasted most of his in the rat race. I always get some perspective when I go down to Mexico. All it takes for poor people there to have fun is to park their trucks somewhere, play some music, drink some beers, talk, laugh, and dance. More than can be said about most of us pecking on our keyboards pursuing "goals" and "ambitions"!

I've talked about this before. It's sad for me to observe when I'm there how the nice restaurants on the beaches are full of those of us with "ambitions." They're the ones with the empty eyes, those having no conversations, and those splitting credit cards after "romantic" dinners. Would be nice if the locals who know how to have fun can afford to be there instead of these "ambitious" zombies wasting the ambience.
Every time I hear the story of the fishermen, I can't help but wonder when the fisherman last saw a dentist and if he still has teeth. It's a good story only if proper medical and dental care are available to him.
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Old 01-13-2011, 06:43 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,563,959 times
Reputation: 42767
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllAboutEve View Post
I thought of this thread after reading another on here. I've dated guys without ambition before, and being that I am the opposite, I never could understand why someone would not want to try harder in their life. After going through some very frustrating dating situations with guys like this, I could never go through it again.

So the question is, have you ever dated someone like this? How did you deal with it, and what did you learn from it?
I dated a guy who was a waffler. He wasn't unambitious, but he had no idea what to do with himself. I was in college; he dropped out, re-enrolled, changed majors, dropped classes. He hated his job, so he quit and found another, then quit and went back to the first job. He did that two or three times. He just had no direction. That wasn't much of a problem between us romantically, because I cared for him very much, but over the years we just became different people on different paths. We eventually broke up.

I still don't understand him. He got married a year or two ago, sold his condo, and spent nine months traveling the world. That was his dream and apparently hers too, so they were made for one another. I just remember his Facebook status when he returned: We're back! No jobs, no money, no place to live! And to him, that's a big adventure. (That's so not me.) I think they live in L.A., working in film and living the bohemian Burning Man art scene life.
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Old 01-13-2011, 06:48 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,099,601 times
Reputation: 73914
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllAboutEve View Post
I thought of this thread after reading another on here. I've dated guys without ambition before, and being that I am the opposite, I never could understand why someone would not want to try harder in their life. After going through some very frustrating dating situations with guys like this, I could never go through it again.

So the question is, have you ever dated someone like this? How did you deal with it, and what did you learn from it?

Yes, I have done it.

You deal with it by getting out of it and never doing it again.

Be aware, though, that what I think having ambition means may differ from what someone else thinks having ambition means...you might be with a guy who thinks he has ambition...just not enough for you.
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Old 01-13-2011, 10:03 AM
 
Location: US, California - federalist
2,794 posts, read 3,670,091 times
Reputation: 484
I am not sure I have ever met a chick who I thought was "unambitious" enough to affect a relationship. It is usually some other factor that affects the relationship more than how ambitious a person is.
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