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HAHA! Sorry, there was no avoiding that laughter... (laughing with you, not at you)
Yes its a sign of hardcore crush..overanalysing every move..but its getting better now....although there's always a temptation to be on the darkside of the moon
Yes its a sign of hardcore crush..overanalysing every move..but its getting better now....although there's always a temptation to be on the darkside of the moon
Who knows? Maybe she's the bright side of the moon but doesn't have the will to leave her current BF.
You certainly can't wait around for that though! If you find out she's suddenly single, ask her out.
Who knows? Maybe she's the bright side of the moon but doesn't have the will to leave her current BF.
You certainly can't wait around for that though! If you find out she's suddenly single, ask her out.
Being in the crush is the dark side of the moon, not her. She's a real, nice, sweet girl...her BF is a lucky bastard!!!! Thats why I pursued her for like 2 months but yep..no time to wait around. I'll just continue what we currently have..and move on..
Another thing I would like to ask is there obviously is a point where some girls get pissed off and will stop talking to you or ignore you...apparently I didn't know she had a bf and she thought I knew she had a bf because first time I asked her out she says she has a bf...but i thought she was lying as she never mentioned a bf in our conversations. Now I look back..I was practically pushing her to cheat with her BF to come for coffee with me and I was pushing here almost every week. But she still always talked nicely to me...not even a hint of frustration, Is this a sign of a very nice person? I'm just trying to understand the female psyche and their point of view here.
Females will flirt, whether or not they have a boyfriend. I'd just back off. You don't want to start any issues, especially if she lives with her bf. Just take it as a grain of salt, and if she wants to go out with you as friends or whatever, let her come to you.
I've had a situation like this. I don't know if your case is the same though. I did have a guy friend that I really liked (strictly as a friend), loved to spend time with him, he was funny, smart. But as I said before I saw him strictly as a friend.
When I realized that he may have a crush on me I simply started feeling awkward when I met the person, he started being more silent, I asked him if he was ignoring me (which translated into 'I know you have a crush on me, I'd still like to be friends but your silence lets me know it might be hurtful to you' in my case.). I do mention that I have a boyfriend till I think it's crystal clear that I only want a friendship with this person.
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Now I look back..I was practically pushing her to cheat with her BF to come for coffee with me and I was pushing here almost every week. But she still always talked nicely to me...not even a hint of frustration
I did that too, with my friend. Because I didn't see it as a push to cheat. Once I said we're just friends, that's what we are, you won't change my mind. And since I care about you as a friend, I'll try treating you like one, despite you apparently hitting on me (besides, unless you clearly tell me you want more, i'll take all your flirty jokes just as a sign of you being a funny and playful friend).Once I've decided you're my friend coffee will just be coffee. The difference between you (a guy) going to a coffee with me, or a girlfriend of mine, is absolutely none.
That's just the way I think though. From what I've noticed most females really are flirty and do ocassionally develop crushes on their guy friends.
Well so far she has always been nice to me. She's never been mean to me. I never stretched it and tried to extend friendship by calling her...but face to face, she's been very nice to me so far. No exceptions.
She's just nice. Being nice is not necessarily an invitation to date her. It does not make her a target. The first time she said the word "Boyfriend" you should have taken note. The second time she said it, she was sending you a message.
Now, on the flip side, maybe she's ambivalent about her boyfriend at this point and just wanted to try you on for size. Since she's pretty much rebuffed you at this point, you might want to cool your heels and see if she breaks up with him in her own way. If she does, she'll pretty much signal her interest in an unmistakable way.
Well that probably is as close to my situation as it could get. We end up talking to each other, often just crap talk and me making crap jokes and sometimes real conversations but she's enjoys the crap talk.
-->Well since she said its OK to go for coffee as friends, I actually assumed we were going for coffee as friends but apparently she knows i like her and so she says its not fair on her BF if she goes for coffee with me. So she's thinking all those coffee invitations were invitations for date. I swear I didn't realize this till last week.
--> Did your friend ever officially ask you to go out or he just made passes @ you. I never made passes @ her. I never complemented her too much. Only thing I did was ask her out and invitation for coffee..and I made lot of effort to be around her and asked her lot of things and opened up my mind to her.
--> Only difference in your situation and mine is, I was not trying to ignore her and she said I was ignoring her. She was walking towards me from behind. I have always ignored her from that position ever since I have known her. Maybe she's now getting conscious and really aware that I like her. Ok couple of days ago I did try to ignore her just to try it out...she was in a hurry as it was time for her to leave for evening school and said "sorry...i have a couple of tests and i haven't read", I was actually not trying to ignore her but all i was trying to do is see if she initiates the conversation. It was awkward even for me, I don't think i can be like this..but that is truly the first and the only moment of awkwardness that has been between us. And if i want I could eliminate it.
-->I believe, we are still building our friendship..and I'll have to be the driver if i want it to carry on. If I just sit back and relax, she won't be able to initiate this on her own maybe because of the awkwardness or whatever it is between us right now. However whenever I do carry the conversation, she does totally take part in it. Well I'm willing to put our awkwardness behind if she wants to continue with friendship...I even told her to introduce me to her single girl friends instead of her best guy friend she was gonna introduce me to. She just made fun of it. But we definitely are not @ Best friends level or even good friends level but I believe she wants to become some sort of friend since she accepted the invitation for dinner, stayed later when all other colleagues left and helped us clean the dishes and mess after the event inspite of knowing that I like her. Anyways I am not trying to become her BFF. At this time, we are still getting to know each other and don't know a lot about each other.
--> I don't know what her intentions are about me. Since she has a BF and lives with him, its a fair assumption that she's not even in a mindset to grow a crush on anyone unless I have been totally too charming for her. I doubt if that would happen. I'm an average looking guy with good sense of humor and often talk crazy and silly. I know my humor lot of times gets quite a few girls going but I don't know if its the case here. I wish i could read her mind.
-->Is there a way I could ask her what her intentions are? --> My efforts to continue friendship with her ..do have these motivations.
--> 1) First I wanna stay in touch just in case something happens in future and try my best and see if she starts liking me other way but am definitely not planning to depend on her. Also by becoming a friend, I wanna find out if she really is that nice of a person, the kind of girl I think she's. If she's then i might pursue her more if i don't find any other nice girl by the time she becomes single
--> 2) She's a nice girl so I'm thinking she knows other nice and single girls like her.
-->3) I'm really honestly looking to expand my social circle. I'm new to the city although i might have to leave soon , I have been for a long time in my life been awkward with girls and i wanna grab every opportunity to get more female friends. If she's a real friend, she should not have any problems introducing me to her other female friends and become best friends with them who in return will introduce me to more female friends of theirs if things work out. That is why I'm the one pushing for extending the friendship fast. I guess I need to make sure that she knows I have no evil intentions on my mind so I'm planning to have a clear conversation with her about this when i get a chance to clear out any awkwardness in the air.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serafinez
I've had a situation like this. I don't know if your case is the same though. I did have a guy friend that I really liked (strictly as a friend), loved to spend time with him, he was funny, smart. But as I said before I saw him strictly as a friend.
When I realized that he may have a crush on me I simply started feeling awkward when I met the person, he started being more silent, I asked him if he was ignoring me (which translated into 'I know you have a crush on me, I'd still like to be friends but your silence lets me know it might be hurtful to you' in my case.). I do mention that I have a boyfriend till I think it's crystal clear that I only want a friendship with this person.
I did that too, with my friend. Because I didn't see it as a push to cheat. Once I said we're just friends, that's what we are, you won't change my mind. And since I care about you as a friend, I'll try treating you like one, despite you apparently hitting on me (besides, unless you clearly tell me you want more, i'll take all your flirty jokes just as a sign of you being a funny and playful friend).Once I've decided you're my friend coffee will just be coffee. The difference between you (a guy) going to a coffee with me, or a girlfriend of mine, is absolutely none.
That's just the way I think though. From what I've noticed most females really are flirty and do ocassionally develop crushes on their guy friends.
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, I have been for a long time in my life been awkward with girls and i wanna grab every opportunity to get more female friends. If she's a real friend, she should not have any problems introducing me to her other female friends and become best friends with them who in return will introduce me to more female friends of theirs if things work out. That is why I'm the one pushing for extending the friendship fast. I guess I need to make sure that she knows I have no evil intentions on my mind so I'm planning to have a clear conversation with her about this when i get a chance to clear out any awkwardness in the air. 
