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There could be other factors, involved like what if she was married and her husband got killed in a car wreck, I mean its not her fault in a situation like that. So without really knowing...
Now if she's got these two kids each by different sperm donors, now that another story.
I'd hate to be crappy, but if I was young dude say mid 20's I'd still probably pass on the situation. I feel bad for the woman, but at that age you need to go out and live, see the world, travel, do all kinds of fun things, not have an instant family.
Sorry
I'm with you. I'd probably run for the hills even in the better scenarios. But I'd bet my bottom dollar it IS the bolded one!
... if she's mature and taking responsibility for herself and her kids, then yeah, I'd give it a shot. She could have been with someone who she thought she was going to marry, but he wasn't ready and just up and left one day.. I had a good friend that was in an abusive relationship. The man she was with beat her and raped her, told her that if she ever left him that he would kill her. Well, she was 19, with two kids.. somehow she fell for a guy that was 6 years older than her. Eventually, we talked her into getting help and getting away from that guy. He went to jail, and she went on with her life. There's a thousand other scenarios out there, each one different.
... on the other hand, if she was just gettin' jiggy with every other guy on the earth, then, er.. well.. I don't think the hills are far enough away from her.
There was some reason she didn't stay with her baby daddies. Beyond a roll in the hay and some sperm, they didn't have what she wanted. The question is what is she looking for now?
Personally, I'd run from anyone who has kids. It's just too much baggage and too hard on a relationship. I think relationships benefit from some serious alone time up front. Instant family just add water makes things very complicated. I speak from experience. At 19 I married a man with custody of two children (ages 4 and 9 at the time). I would not do that again. It placed too much strain on our relationship from the get go and we never got to go through the normal phases of a relationship. We skipped the fun part. The part where you really get to know each other and just spend time with each other. That's too valuable to skip.
Thank you for your experience.
I too married a woman with a kid. (5) What a pain. I didn't feel it was going to be that bad but it was.
You do miss all the fun stuff that married couples should enjoy. When her boy was old enough for full time school I was all giddy thinking we would have alot of time to ourselves but she made my life a living hex till she got number 2 boy.
If I were to go back in time I would have never made a move toward that sort of relationship.
As for the OP...you will always be number 3. You want that?
All anyone is doing is speculating which is pointless....
She could be kind, attractive and putting herself through college with those 2 kids and planning on changing her life around.
My answer would be to look at her as a person, and decide if you like what your see when making that choice...
I agree. Speculating isn't going to help.
When I met my wife she was finishing her 4 year college degree. She was a single mom who was never married. She was working and raising her son. I was impressed with her.
After marriage she showed her selfish side of things. Never used her degree in anyway...complained if she did have to work. It was a mess.
I am not a person to hold anything against anyone. If you were missing a leg or arm I would still consider you. However, I think you really have to dig alittle deeper. Like her family life. How was she raised. What is her parents like. Are they still married? If not, why? You know, those questions. They have a major impact on a person's life. Something I wish I would have taken a closer look at.
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Originally Posted by orangeapple I don't think it means someone is unstable or insane at all. That's overly harsh.
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Yeah, I think it does. If you can't even drink at your own wedding, that's a problem. 18 year olds just can't handle marriage. It's no coincidence that people who get married before they're 25 have very low success rates.
I agree with orangeapple.
I remember when legal drinking age was 18.
Although it isnt as common for people to marry at 18 today, it was quite the norm not so long ago. Perhaps largely because people were more mature at 18 than they are today and there was less oportunity for college and career especially for women.
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