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Old 07-24-2009, 08:06 AM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
8,886 posts, read 20,273,305 times
Reputation: 5619

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First of all........there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with marriage!! However, what can make a marriage bad are those that want to marry, but after getting married find out that it's really NOT there thing. Same description goes with having kids. Before even "thinking" about marriage, the couple should really have a sit-down talk about having kids, how much they are different in their interests/hobbies and how much difference their personalities are. This ALL should be discussed before marriage, but sure isn't that much (if at all).
If a person is "marriage minded", that should be brought up to the partner sometime before the big question is put out there. People should first of all date people who have "traits" they like! Don't like smoking, swearing, drinking or other habits, including porn.......DON'T pick someone like that to date or marry!! Age in dating/marriage can play a big part. It really doesn't take a PHd to figure any of this out!!
At age 60 & 61, wife and I are from the same generation. Music likes have been somewhat different, but we now like each others music. Neither of us smoke and drink very little. Have a lot of the same interests....fishing and boating are two of them. We got married 8 yrs ago, knew each other for a year and KNEW we were meant for each other.
One thing is FACT.......marriage is not for everyone and the ones who don't believe in/like marriage MOST DEFINITELY should NEVER get married!! But, in a dating (or live-together situation) just make sure both people have the same feelings about marriage......definitely yes in the future, or definitely no.
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Old 07-24-2009, 08:15 AM
 
27,251 posts, read 27,315,672 times
Reputation: 45769
There really is nothing wrong with marriage, agreed, but sometimes its the approach one takes to getting there that might hinder the possibilities.
Some too, by choice, stay single all their lives because they dont want the responsibilities of kids, alimony, and loyalty. I happen to have lived with a guy like that over a decade ago, hes never been married and has no kids (that he knows of), hoping I would he his 'one' but he was a player, and thats why I left him. To this day, he still is single, almost 60, and loves the freedom of no commitment.
For some, its a choice, for others, well, I cant say.......
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Old 07-24-2009, 08:23 AM
 
21,923 posts, read 19,052,687 times
Reputation: 18044
Quote:
Originally Posted by AliceT View Post
I disagree. I found out early on that good looking men were generally full of themselves. I have always sought the least attractive man for dating or friendship. but that's just me.
i have to agree with AliceT's wisdom here
in my experience men who preen about their appearance, clothes, muscle definition are way too vain and arrogant to be good company, much less engage in anything beyond superficial.

i don't set out to choose less attractive men for dating or friendship,
but the men I fall for tend to be, well as one friend describes it, she says i see beauty in people who others might not consider attractive.

Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 07-24-2009 at 08:31 AM..
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Old 07-24-2009, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Orlando
8,176 posts, read 18,485,646 times
Reputation: 49864
I actually have a cousin like this.

He's about 45, never been married but always looking.

Let's do his appearance 1st....these are things he CAN do something about.
These things have also been brought to his attention by some other well meaning cousins.....

Clothing...always looks like he took his clothes out of the laundry basket.
He has a washer, dryer, iron and even hangers. He doesn't use them.

His hair. While clean most of the time, it looks like his clothes. Our other cousin is a hairdresser and has offered to help him constantly.

His teeth. He didn't take care of them and now has bits and pieces left. He has the $$ to fix them but doesn't.


Ok personality....he's like a groupie....always wanting to hang out with the "cool" bunch. Then proceeds to get drunk and stupid just to show that he can keep up. (What he doesn't notice is that he's the only one drinking heavily)

He can't carry on the simplest of conversations. Everything is political. God that gets so boring even for family members, can you imagine alone with him on a date?

Even with all of the above, he really is a nice guy and I think if he quit trying so hard in some ways and harder in others he'd be a good catch.

All of these things have been brought to his attention the nicest way possible but to no avail. I'm guessing he'll never marry or marry real late in life.
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Old 07-24-2009, 11:13 AM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,601,631 times
Reputation: 7711
Quote:
Originally Posted by AliceT View Post
I once wondered why some people never married, especially after finding out that they wanted to be married. Once I got to know them, it was clear why they were still single. Anyone else know such a person? How do you tell them what faults you can see as plain as day?
Speaking as someone who's never been married but would like to be someday, I don't see anything majorly wrong with me that would make me a bad husband. When people ask why I'm not married, I have a very simple answer. I just haven't met the right girl yet. I'd rather be single the rest of my life than end up married to the wrong person. When I meet someone else who's also never been married, I don't do what so many people do and infer there's something wrong with them. But I have met some people where it's fairly obvious why they're still single. Looks, personality, etc. And then there are people you look at and wonder why any sane person ever decided to marry them.
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Old 07-24-2009, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Gary, WV & Springfield, ME
5,826 posts, read 9,582,336 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
And then there are people you look at and wonder why any sane person ever decided to marry them.
I can answer that - because he fell in love with me. Nobody else has to know how or why
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Old 07-24-2009, 06:32 PM
 
4,837 posts, read 8,836,089 times
Reputation: 3026
Quote:
Originally Posted by AliceT View Post
I disagree. I found out early on that good looking men were generally full of themselves. I have always sought the least attractive man for dating or friendship. but that's just me.
I agree but I'm biased.
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Old 07-24-2009, 06:56 PM
 
3,219 posts, read 6,563,495 times
Reputation: 1852
I'm already Married To My Freedom and what's mine is mine, is mine is mine away from many female leetche$ awaiting to spend it and or giving them a meal at a 5 star establishment for starters.

Marriage?? Do many females know what it means??

Ohhhh Yes, that means the ceremony, the reception/party that runs into HUGE BUCK$ which SHE is the center of attention - the groom (may as well be a broom) is there someplace who cares.

What am I saying?: That many females want to get married but don't want to BE married - there's a difference.

Approx., 70 - 75% of females initiate divorce, I wonder why and don't tell me it's all the Man's fault either although he gets the shaft from the judgment in divorce court.

I know, it's the dillusional feelings of "changing the rules" that takes place within a female and overprocessing as well as yearning drama. And OH YES, some have the need to cash out and trade up.

Many females wanted feminism now you're on your own.

MGTOW BABY!
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Old 07-24-2009, 07:21 PM
 
Location: Arizona, The American Southwest
54,477 posts, read 33,781,453 times
Reputation: 91672
Quote:
Originally Posted by AliceT
I once wondered why some people never married, especially after finding out that they wanted to be married. Once I got to know them, it was clear why they were still single. Anyone else know such a person? How do you tell them what faults you can see as plain as day?
Interesting topic.. Do I know such a person? Hmmmm.. let me think.. for a few minutes...

Seriously, I've never been married and probably because I've always devoted myself to just one woman, and never paid attention to anything else. I've never been a so-called "player", or cheater, and that's a good trait, but I guess that doesn't always work.

In my younger days, I never had any problems finding somebody, the problem was finding somebody who wanted to get married. I've only been in 5 serious relationships, from high school days, up until just 6 and a half years ago, and only 2 had good potentials, but still no marriage, and since the last relationship I've had the worst luck, it must be age or something. I'm 52 now, and at this point, any woman with the good traits that I'm looking for is either already taken, or not interested for one reason or another. I guess that's another form of so-called "mid-life crisis"..

I mentioned this before but I'll mention it again. I am a type I diabetic (insulin dependent) and somehow it makes potential mates think that it's as horrible as the plague, which is not. Diabetes is only a condition, not a disease, as some think. I met a couple of gals through an introduction service I joined in October of 2007 and I thought things were going pretty good. But not long after the introduction, when I told them that I am a diabetic, and they saw me take insulin shots, they lost interest. It didn't take rocket science to figure out that something about taking shots scared them, and they didn't want to be involved or married to somebody with such a condition. So needless to say, it's one reason why I've never been married, even though the condition has not affected me in any way.

One last item, I guess the next step, I'll have to stand outside and hold a sign.. maybe that'll work..

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Old 07-24-2009, 10:12 PM
 
1,492 posts, read 7,697,449 times
Reputation: 1452
Quote:
Originally Posted by AliceT View Post
I once wondered why some people never married, especially after finding out that they wanted to be married. Once I got to know them, it was clear why they were still single. Anyone else know such a person? How do you tell them what faults you can see as plain as day?

Faults? Hmmm, I wouldn't mind marriage to the right person but luckily I've not ever met a man I wanted to date let alone marry.

Sure I have faults, that's what makes me human.
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