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The word "Confidence" when used in the dating world means very little..Its impossible to judge ones true confidence right away..its very easy to manipulate..
If someone physically looks the part is dressed well and good looking theyll usually get assigned that title wheter they are or not..
Its a way overused word..The minute soemobdy makes a post saying they dont do well with women the word confidence is thrown around 100 times as if its the magic potion to make women go from not attracted to you to attracted..
Very overused fluff cliche word in the dating world
I agree, I'm sooooooo sick and tired of hearing that f ing word, confidence.
The other day, I met up with some friends at the bar. One friend, who was a woman, got hit on by some guy when she went up to the bartender to get a drink. They seemed to really hit it off. After a while, she brought the guy back to our table to hang out with the rest of us. All the women in the group seemed to be into him. He was tall, good-looking, etc. But what I noticed most of all was that he was very confident in himself, especially on the subject of his work, investment banking. None of us work in anything like that so we knew little about the subject. So he kind of dominated the conversation. We all listened intently. Finally, I asked a question. I wasn't trying to trip him up. I just got confused by something he said. What happened next was rather amusing. My question wasn't a difficult one, but it seemed to confuse him. The more he answered, the more he contradicted himself and the more questions it raised, which he also couldn't answer. After a while, it became obvious that he wasn't an investment banker at all. Before long, he got up to go the bathroom, but he never came back to the table.
Obviously, there are plenty of guys like this. They may dress fancy to make you think they make a lot of money when they don't. They may stick their chest out and suck in their gut to make you think they're buff (those guys really make me laugh). Or like the guy I mentioned above, they pretend to be something they're not.
My question is for the women. Most women I've met say they find confidence very attractive. And guys know this, which is why most will try to act confident, even though, deep down, they're full of insecurities. They like to act like they're tough and in control. As a guy, I find it both entertaining and a little disappointing how easily some guys fool women into thinking they're confident men when they're really not. So my question is how do you handle it when you discover a guy isn't as confident as you thought? Do you just laugh it off? Has it happened to you at a point that was far too late? Does it change the way you look at other guys? Any interesting stories to share?
You just don't understand that type of business. I suspect the statement that he was into "investment banking" is just a general explanation of what he does. It can be many different types of work ranging from a hedge fund manager to a retail day trader. His appearance to contradict himself does not indicate that he is not involved in that line of work. it's really very fascinating how the market operates. It's not that he doesnt know what he's talking about, it's that you don't understand what he's talking about.
The word "Confidence" when used in the dating world means very little..Its impossible to judge ones true confidence right away..its very easy to manipulate..
If someone physically looks the part is dressed well and good looking theyll usually get assigned that title wheter they are or not..
Its a way overused word..The minute soemobdy makes a post saying they dont do well with women the word confidence is thrown around 100 times as if its the magic potion to make women go from not attracted to you to attracted..
Very overused fluff cliche word in the dating world
Great Post!
It always makes my ears bleed when I hear this term used in the dating world. I think its use serves 2 purposes.
1) Women use this term to make themselves look less superficial after rejecting a guy.
2) Gives low value men hope they can attract any women with a personality trait.
People have a habit of confusing confidence with arrogance. This is especially true in your teens and early 20's for most people, but some carry it on longer.
I don't think I'm the sort of guy that exudes confidence, but I am plenty aware of my abilities, my skills, my virtues. When I meet a girl, I don't try to "dominate" the conversation by waxing ecstatic about my job title, sports car, how much my shoes cost, etc. because that, in my opinion, is much more on the "arrogant" end of the spectrum, and is filler for a lack of things to really talk about and a sure sign that at the end of the day, they can't prop themselves up in conversation without making these things known. I'd rather see if I actually have anything in common with the woman before I start going on about such things, and because of that, I start a conversation.
The sort of woman who would be attracted to me coming in dressed to the 9's, talking about how awesome I am and how expensive everything I'm wearing is, etc. is not the sort of woman I'd be into anyway.
MLK perhaps, but I don't think of the other two as confident at all.
Ghandi spearheaded a nonviolent movement that resulted in the British leaving his country... I somehow find it hard to believe that he wouldn't be a confident individual.
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