What do you think of extremely outspoken and honest people as friends or lovers? (boyfriends, girls)
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Honesty is one of the pillars of a relationship. But delivery of the 'truth' requires tact. As always, what one person interprets as truth can be different from what another interprets.
What do you think of people who are honest and outspoken as potential friends or lovers?
It's good to know what friends and lovers think rather than try to read their minds. Too often, that gets you into trouble. But the potential downside of being with someone who's more open than you is that they expect you to be just as outspoken. I've experienced this. I tend to more guarded about what I share and I was with someone who never held back. She was frustrated with me and wanted me to be just as frank and open as she was. That's why I think it's better to be with someone who's at the same level of openness as you.
Too many people hid behind the "honest and outspoken" to be rude and insulting.
I don't give an opinion on personal matters unless I'm asked. Then if I know it's not something the person wants to hear I'll say it in the nicest way possible.
I don't understand people who think it's ok to just go up to someone and tell them they look/smell/sound awful. Then when they realize (sometimes) that what they said was hurtful they hide behind.....Oh I was just joking. Or...You're too sensitive....Or...I was just being honest and outspoken.
Outspokenness and honesty is very good if it has intent to inform, educate, or help you. Outspokenness needs to be tactful and sensitive. You can't go up to your friend or subordinate and say "Wow. Your breath has really smelled terrible for the last two weeks. Everyone has been complaining to me. They feel uncomfortable with the way you smell. You need to do something about it right now." and then expect people to like and respect you.
I agree with this.
I have/had a good friend who over the past few years too it upon herself to let me know explicitly how she felt about me and my personality, often pointing out flaws and other things she did not like. While some has been helpful, its mostly been hurtful and has damaged our relationship. I finally got sick of all the criticism and judgement and I no longer feel comfortable around her. She feels she had no choice but to tell me and wants to repair the friendship. Because of how she approached me (which was rude, spiteful and full of anger) I have no real desire to be close again. And if we do become friendly again, I will keep her at a distance.
Sometimes I think its best that if you can't say something nice, say nothing at all.
I had a friend that would criticize me for the exact same traits that he had. In fact I was comfortable with my traits and had no problem with them nor did I see anything wrong with my friend. So it was a real confusing and irritating situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes
I agree with this.
I have/had a good friend who over the past few years too it upon herself to let me know explicitly how she felt about me and my personality, often pointing out flaws and other things she did not like. While some has been helpful, its mostly been hurtful and has damaged our relationship. I finally got sick of all the criticism and judgement and I no longer feel comfortable around her. She feels she had no choice but to tell me and wants to repair the friendship. Because of how she approached me (which was rude, spiteful and full of anger) I have no real desire to be close again. And if we do become friendly again, I will keep her at a distance.
Sometimes I think its best that if you can't say something nice, say nothing at all.
I'm the type, I'll always say what I mean. If I don't approve of something that someone does, they'll know it. But, this has never gotten me in trouble. It's all well and good to say what's on your mind, but if you forget the other half of things - listening - you're out. People want to be heard, they want others to understand them and where they're coming from. If you just go blurt out whatever it is you want to say, without taking the time to listen to the other persons point of view, well, yeah, you're going to get in trouble.
As for the flip side and all that, well, I always admire someone who has the confidence to stand up and say what they mean to say. But again, there's a difference between talking to be heard, and communicating. There's always two sides... always.
Two sides to the coin as with most things in life, ying and yang. Sure everyone can appreciate honesty and some one being frank. But there are often times people try to be frank and wind up just being plain crude and crass. Furthermore, we have all heard the saying," the truth hurts."
If you value your own opinion that much and knowingly allow the sharp edges to injure those nearby expect fewer and fewer folks in your vicinity. Whether this is good or bad is debatable.
I like honest frank outspoken people who tell you what they think and you know where they stand and what they believe. What do you think of people who are honest and outspoken as potential friends or lovers?
I love these types of people and think they're a blessing to have in your life.
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