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Old 08-01-2009, 05:49 AM
 
Location: Some place very cold
5,501 posts, read 22,391,707 times
Reputation: 4353

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I have a friend who is in an open relationship with her husband, meaning they both sleep with other people on occasion. It works for them, and they are very comfortable together.

Some people have different ideas of fidelity. They know that they cannot commit to having sex with only one person "till death do us party." But they love each other and want to be honest.

Do you know anyone like this? Have you ever been in an open relationship?

Would love to hear your thoughts!

W.
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Old 08-01-2009, 06:10 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,512,258 times
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I wouldn't be amenable to it. I give exclusivity, I expect the same of my partner.
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Old 08-01-2009, 06:11 AM
 
Location: USA
11,169 posts, read 10,625,800 times
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I know couples that this "works for," but it's not my cup of tea. I understand the scientific dynamics that human beings are not one of the monogamous species on this Earth, however, human beings are also the most intelligent and self-controlled species and I remain.

My take on it is that if you are going to sleep with others through "consensual cheating" - why not just be unmarried. Marriage is a sanctity between man and woman. Not between man and woman and Bob, Sally, Suzy, Jeff and Gertrude at the club or party.

I have been made to try to understand the "fantasy" and "arousal" factor in this by swinging couples and how "pillow talk" just was not enough for them. .and seeing them with others heightens their desire for one another and enhances their sex life because of the "trust factor and they do it because they love one another" LOL OK - . .eh, sure, whatever - excuses, excuses. . .whatever gets you through the day.

I was actually told by a swinging couple, "sex between two is beautiful, but sex between eight is great." Despite how a swinging couple wants to justify it. . (and they do, ohhhh do they ever. . .) it's immoral, disgusting and perverted.

About maybe 8'ish years ago, I dropped a friendship with a woman who did this with her husband. They had a little swingers party at their house, had about 4-5 other couples over . . AFTER they put their 2 kids to bed. When I expressed my disgust that it was done under the roof with their children, she said to me, " It's OK! Do you know how many swingers do the same thing??" I never spoke to her again.

Gross. Just gross.
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Old 08-01-2009, 06:48 AM
 
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
11,078 posts, read 15,025,700 times
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Would you consider, have you been in, and what do you think of open relationships?

Ahhhh...in a perfect world maybe
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Old 08-01-2009, 01:25 PM
 
21,881 posts, read 19,028,526 times
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i would not ever do that myself, nor have I ever done that, I am monogamous through and through and always have been and have no desire to be anything else, and am only ever with others who are monogamous

however I have known couples in the gay community who do each have sex outside the relationship. They say it works for them. One couple (two women) has been together for 9 years in this arrangement.
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Old 08-01-2009, 01:38 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,762 posts, read 40,019,201 times
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Default Would you consider, have you been in, and what do you think of open relationships?

No. No. And never for me.

I do think that it's possible to be in a lifetime marriage and never need to cheat on ones spouse. I've know a number of senior couples where I do believe that they've been happy together their entire long marriage and never have cheated on each other.

I have no desire to share my man. I also think that having multiple partners at the same time is a great way to spread STD's. One of my boyfriend's cousins is around 21 years old and she caught herpes from her first boyfriend. Stories like that are the perfect incentive for not being sexually promiscuous, let alone cheating on a s/o.
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Old 08-01-2009, 01:45 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,890 posts, read 52,267,434 times
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Swinging is not my bag baby.


If it works for some, fine. I'm not making any morality judegements, because it's not my call, It's the big mans call.

If you believe in that sort of thing.
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Old 08-01-2009, 02:04 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,665 posts, read 69,444,658 times
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Oh Lord, reminds me of a time MANY years ago when my husband at the time and I befriended a couple. They were fun to be around and good conversationalists, albeit a bit of an odd couple as he was very skinny and she was grossly overweight. But, each to his own.

Anyway, we went over to their house early one evening for a BBQ. As the night progressed, wifey put their two children to bed and then said she was going to change into something more comfortable and went into the bedroom. A few minutes later and she called out and asked me to go in there. I left my husband and hers chatting and in I went. There she was in bra and panties sitting on the bed - a sight I really didn't need to see. She wasn't just overweight, she was HUGE and seeing her in the flesh was a ghastly sight. With hardly a preamble, she started to tell me how she and her husband "did it." I tried to throw out a noncommital "hum" and tried to change the subject but on she went and then it came out.

"We like to swing and we were wondering if you and "XXXX" would like to swing with us? We have such a good time with you and enjoy your company so much!"

What happened after that rather remains a blur but within ten minutes, my husband and I were in the car and on our way home. While wifey had been working on me in her bedroom, her hubbie had likewise proposed the same thing to my husband and his facial pallor was as sickly green as mine.

We still bumped into them occasionally over the next year or so but then fortunately left that small community.

No, never wanted to under any circumstances - just not my thing. Cheers!
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Old 08-01-2009, 02:24 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,951,888 times
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It's just not my business. Whatever works, I guess.
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Old 08-01-2009, 02:55 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,333,061 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof! View Post
I have a friend who is in an open relationship with her husband, meaning they both sleep with other people on occasion. It works for them, and they are very comfortable together.

Some people have different ideas of fidelity. They know that they cannot commit to having sex with only one person "till death do us party." But they love each other and want to be honest.

Do you know anyone like this? Have you ever been in an open relationship?

Would love to hear your thoughts!

W.
I have always wondered about "open relationships". When you say "they can sleep with other people", does that mean they tell each other they slept with someone else or planning on it?...or does that mean that it's just a mutual understanding but they don't actually go and advertise it to each other and keep their adventures to themselves?

I don't personally know anyone in the open relationship... I admit, I have wondered if I could ever be in one, and just realized that I probably wouldn't be able to pull it off. I happen to be a very temperamental jealous woman. I don't think the idea of my husband being with someone else would sit well with me....Well, unless I'm RIGHT THERE! ...nah...even that I wouldn't be able to handle...
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