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Old 09-18-2016, 03:22 PM
 
5,721 posts, read 5,282,632 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by green_mariner View Post
What if you're 30?

I won't date women who have 3 ex-husbands and 5 kids. I don't want to deal with kids right now. I'm child free and I'm content like that. One reason I won't date women with children. Maybe in a few years I'll be okay with it and only under certain conditions(widower, husband cheated/beat her).

I'm not a rich man. I'm not broke, but I can't afford a mansion either.

Can you elaborate by "my own demographic"?
I don't know where you live but you should still be good to go at 30 that's a great age. I would not actively go older though unless you spot a unicorn. Stick with women in their 20's that still care about true and/or simple romance. If you're single, never married, no kids, healthy, no debt, very average income equating to middle class or working class, that's your demographic.

If that's still your demographic in 10 years you're in big trouble in the US in most parts of the country. That's the problem that older men in higher cost of living areas run into. Statistically, sure there's tons of single women that fit that mold but they're most likely looking for a guy with a pad in Soho.

Quote:
Originally Posted by green_mariner View Post
Marrying down, and dating down. I have heard of cases where some educated women are dating men who are basically losers. I'm not talking about the construction workers and contractors that you mention. Those are good, hardworking men. I'm talking about the hood rats and fools with no job in addition to having no education, who will live off of their women. There has been an uptick in that.
The former would be women with a broken picker there's no hope for them, just let them drown that's why I advise you to stick with women in their 20's. At your age you find the ones you don't want to drown and haven't yet. At my age, you let them drown, and don't bother with them if they already did. Refuse to settle for the leftovers or try and white knight them.

The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result. At 40 they're most likely not going to change.

I contend that in the US there's a huge uptick in women that overlook the good hardworking men but I think that is fueled partially by the women you referred to that date losers. They seem to have hard time differentiating between men that are losers, and good men that work hard but aren't rich. Not rich and have a Ph.D.? You're lumped into the loser category just because her friend went slumming with a meth head. They overcompensate.

Last edited by wanderlust76; 09-18-2016 at 03:44 PM..
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Old 09-18-2016, 03:25 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 8,301,111 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Humans are quite a varied bunch in their preferences, motivations, and individual psychologies. For as many that may fit into a box you design, there will be as many who fall outside the box.
Exactly.

These made up statistics, and the claim that "most women" blah, blah always make me chuckle because they come from people who will never, ever accept that they are plainly and simply wrong.
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Old 09-18-2016, 03:31 PM
 
62,306 posts, read 53,333,914 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by armsman View Post


Bolded 1: I've found that women are more apt to approach me if I'm out and feeling a certain way (have a good vibe, am being social, etc). They will also be more willing to approach you if you are very good-looking.

Bolded 2: I believe that this is your part of your problem (I have a similar problem so I understand).

Bolded 3: I have a few theories about this. My first is that women are inundated with so many dating opportunities that they don't need any help. My second is that feminism has taught women that they don't need a man. So they are embarrassed to be asking for one. There's a good chance that both theories are partially right.
I'm not ugly by any means, but I'm no Tyson Beckford or Will Smith either. People do frequently comment that I look young in the face. I'm 30 and some people think I'm 23 or 24. When I was in my early 20s, there were some people who commented that I looked 15 or 16.

I can't help that I'm short. Nothing I can do about that. I've been shorter than average my whole life. Throughout elementary school I was the shortest kid in the class. I never reached 5 ft tall until the very end of 8th grade.

I would not doubt that feminism has played a role. There is that "I don't need a man" mentality. However, it seems to manifest itself differently depending on cultural/economic factors. I've noticed with educated career women, that manifests itself with perennially being single. With women immersed in the hood rat dynamic, it manifests itself in mooching the system and with putting someone on child support. It is "I don't need a man, but I need his money".

Among alot of single women, there are the career women who are content to be without a man. There are the single women with children out of wedlock. There are single women who are divorced and never remarried(some who have children, some who don't).

Quote:
Your issue is not your socioeconomic status. It is your height. Most women will not give you a break in this regard. This is why you've been struggling.
As mentioned before, nothing I can do about that. Here is what is weird. My father is 5'11", my brother is 5'10", and I am 5'5". My brother had no problem getting women. I was frequently turned down. I was told point blank in high school by a girl that I was too short. I was told point blank by a woman in college that I was too short for her(of course she was 5'9", so I kind of understood that). However, most women who had no interest in me never mentioned my height as a factor, so I wonder if height was a factor for those women not approaching me.

One thing that angers me to no end is that men who are short get told they're crazy for complaining about this issue. Men who are overweight have no problem getting girlfriends. Men who are hood rats have no problem getting girlfriends. This is the thing. A man can stop being a hood rat if he wants to. A man can lose weight by eating healthier and getting exercise. There is nothing a man can do about his height, as his height is not behavior related. On facebook, I can find plenty of "short girl" memes, but no "short guy" memes.
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Old 09-18-2016, 03:56 PM
 
91 posts, read 56,078 times
Reputation: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by green_mariner View Post
I'm not ugly by any means, but I'm no Tyson Beckford or Will Smith either. People do frequently comment that I look young in the face. I'm 30 and some people think I'm 23 or 24. When I was in my early 20s, there were some people who commented that I looked 15 or 16.

I can't help that I'm short. Nothing I can do about that. I've been shorter than average my whole life. Throughout elementary school I was the shortest kid in the class. I never reached 5 ft tall until the very end of 8th grade.
I understand that you can't help it, but also understand that this does not matter to women. They will not look at you and say "Wow, he's cute and nice and has a good job. I'm attracted to him. He's short, but that's not his fault so I will give him a chance". Most women don't think this way. Either you have it or you don't and everything else is irrelevant.

Quote:
I would not doubt that feminism has played a role. There is that "I don't need a man" mentality. However, it seems to manifest itself differently depending on cultural/economic factors. I've noticed with educated career women, that manifests itself with perennially being single. With women immersed in the hood rat dynamic, it manifests itself in mooching the system and with putting someone on child support. It is "I don't need a man, but I need his money".
The thing is hood rat women tend to be on the stupid side. I have encountered many of them. They will try to manipulate you, but, if you are smart, you will easily be able to see their manipulation tactics, as they will be obvious. This is something that I've noticed with some women in third world countries as well.

More intelligent women can also be better manipulators. Keep that in mind.

Quote:
Among alot of single women, there are the career women who are content to be without a man. There are the single women with children out of wedlock. There are single women who are divorced and never remarried(some who have children, some who don't).
Unfortunately, single motherhood is accepted and embraced by our current society. This does not bode well for average and unattractive men since women can either have babies with good-looking men or give their kids superior genetics through sperm donation and then either live off of the government or become career women.

As usual, we are at a disadvantage here as men, as we really cannot do the same thing without a lot of money.

Quote:
As mentioned before, nothing I can do about that. Here is what is weird. My father is 5'11", my brother is 5'10", and I am 5'5". My brother had no problem getting women. I was frequently turned down. I was told point blank in high school by a girl that I was too short. I was told point blank by a woman in college that I was too short for her(of course she was 5'9", so I kind of understood that). However, most women who had no interest in me never mentioned my height as a factor, so I wonder if height was a factor for those women not approaching me.
Your height is most definitely a factor in women not approaching you. I'm also short. I have never been rejected outwardly for my height (by tall women or otherwise), but I'm sure it's happened multiple times without me knowing. In fact, I suspect that it's the primary reason that I'm ever rejected and that I've had to work harder than most men for the same thing.

In general, in western society, short men are discriminated against in dating and we will have to work harder to get and keep women.

Quote:
One thing that angers me to no end is that men who are short get told they're crazy for complaining about this issue. Men who are overweight have no problem getting girlfriends. Men who are hood rats have no problem getting girlfriends. This is the thing. A man can stop being a hood rat if he wants to. A man can lose weight by eating healthier and getting exercise. There is nothing a man can do about his height, as his height is not behavior related. On facebook, I can find plenty of "short girl" memes, but no "short guy" memes.
Yup. I'm sure we'll get a timeout on this forum for even discussing it. It's a form of censorship.

Most people will say something like "It's not really happening. I know this one short guy that never had any problem with anything ever (that I ever saw). So you probably don't have a problem." or "Life isn't fair. Deal with it."

Yeah, easy for them to say.
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Old 09-18-2016, 03:57 PM
 
62,306 posts, read 53,333,914 times
Reputation: 18750
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76 View Post
I don't know where you live but you should still be good to go at 30 that's a great age. I would not actively go older though unless you spot a unicorn. Stick with women in their 20's that still care about true and/or simple romance. If you're single, never married, no kids, healthy, no debt, very average income equating to middle class or working class, that's your demographic.

If that's still your demographic in 10 years you're in big trouble in the US in most parts of the country. That's the problem that older men in higher cost of living areas run into. Statistically, sure there's tons of single women that fit that mold but they're most likely looking for a guy with a pad in Soho.
I live in the suburbs of Atlanta. Where I live, most 30 year-old women that I know are married, without or without kids, or are engaged to be married. In my case, I prefer a woman to be at least 27. If she's 30 that is very good.

I am single, never married, never had sex in my life, I am in shape(although I do have some back issues). Sadly, I have student debt to deal with. My income is around $40,000 annually. I am middle class.

Rents are rising in many places all over the Atlanta area. Places where they are cheap, it is either too far from my workplace, or in the ghettos. Atlanta has its own version of SoHo, Buckhead. A bachelor pad in Buckhead, it isn't cheap.

Quote:
The former would be women with a broken picker there's no hope for them, just let them drown that's why I advise you to stick with women in their 20's. At your age you find the ones you don't want to drown and haven't yet. At my age, you let them drown, and don't bother with them if they already did. Refuse to settle for the leftovers or try and white knight them.
Atlanta proper has 80,000 more single women than single men. A sizable part of that single female cohort in my age range is quite broken and many have the "hood rat" in them. I don't bother with that. I don't "white knight". I don't date women with children. I don't date women with a promiscuous past. And even some women in their 20s are damaged. Georgia has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the USA. Metro Atlanta has one of the fastest growing rates of HIV in the nation.

Quote:
The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result. At 40 they're most likely not going to change
One cannot fix stupid. And I don't want to deal with stupid.

Quote:
I contest in the US there's a huge uptick in women that overlook the good hardworking men but I think that is fueled partially by the women you referred to that date losers. They seem to have hard time differentiating between men that are losers, and good men that work hard but aren't rich. Not rich and have a Ph.D.? You're lumped into the loser category just because her friend went slumming with a meth head. They overcompensate.
If some women can't tell the difference between a hard working man who happens to not be rich, and a hood rat/piece of trash, then they aren't worth dating in the first place.
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Old 09-18-2016, 04:06 PM
 
91 posts, read 56,078 times
Reputation: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76 View Post
I don't know where you live but you should still be good to go at 30 that's a great age. I would not actively go older though unless you spot a unicorn. Stick with women in their 20's that still care about true and/or simple romance. If you're single, never married, no kids, healthy, no debt, very average income equating to middle class or working class, that's your demographic.
Agreed to a degree. Again, that poster will struggle regardless due to physical issues discussed previously.

Also, I would recommend not going below 25 (23 at the absolute minimum), for the most part. Anyone lower will have ridiculous looks requirements and an unrealistic view of the world.

Quote:
If that's still your demographic in 10 years you're in big trouble in the US in most parts of the country. That's the problem that older men in higher cost of living areas run into. Statistically, sure there's tons of single women that fit that mold but they're most likely looking for a guy with a pad in Soho.
Yup. Once you hit 40 or so, you either better be rich, be okay with dating women your age (and, therefore, not having children), or be willing to go overseas.

Quote:
The former would be women with a broken picker there's no hope for them, just let them drown that's why I advise you to stick with women in their 20's. At your age you find the ones you don't want to drown and haven't yet. At my age, you let them drown, and don't bother with them if they already did. Refuse to settle for the leftovers or try and white knight them.
100% correct. I'm sure you had to struggle to establish yourself with the odds stacked against you. I'm established at age 29. Sure, some people helped me. Most people kicked me when I was down. These women likely cruised through life and made many bad decisions along the way. Those decisions have caught up to them. If you want to hook up with them, that's fine, but don't go down with the ship, captain.

In the end, it's a cold world. Women (in a dating sense) will not care about you when you are down. So you should not care about them when they are down (unless they are friends or family...or someone you are already dating that has proven themselves).

Quote:
The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result. At 40 they're most likely not going to change.

I contend that in the US there's a huge uptick in women that overlook the good hardworking men but I think that is fueled partially by the women you referred to that date losers. They seem to have hard time differentiating between men that are losers, and good men that work hard but aren't rich. Not rich and have a Ph.D.? You're lumped into the loser category just because her friend went slumming with a meth head. They overcompensate.
This is because many women focus solely on looks or how the guy makes them feel. Most do not focus on practical matters until it's too late.
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Old 09-18-2016, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Bronx
16,217 posts, read 21,134,437 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by armsman View Post
As I stated in my post, exceptions do exist. Sure one 5 foot man with an elementary school education was able to find someone that's highly educated. If you took 100 men in the same situation, how many do you think would have a similar story. My guess would be that he's the only one.

It CAN happen, for sure, but that outcome is highly unlikely.

Also, from my experience, most women seem to "prefer" very similar things in men.


I have an acquaintance of mines. He is from San Francisco. He moved to NYC for career purposes. He said San Francisco sucks for getting women. He is short around 5'5. He gets women all the time here in Manhattan. He is not tall, but he is a bit quirky, and he is very good looking in the face. I told him, NYC is good for short men. The height thing is more prevalent in picket fenced suburban America. I have a coworker, who has an adult twenty something son. His son is short, and he too gets plenty of women. However these women these men meet are all short. I'm tall 6'2. Over the years I realized that short women are not attracted to tall, proportioned man that is chubby, so not I right off all women below 5'8. It sucks bending down, and it looks creepy talking into the ear of a short woman.
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Old 09-18-2016, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Bronx
16,217 posts, read 21,134,437 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Women "marrying down" is a nation-wide phenom, and has been a growing trend for awhile now. It was reported in the media years ago. I met several long-term married couples like that back in the 90's and early 2000's; all the men were construction workers or contractors. The women were in a variety of fields, being the main breadwinners.
Of course it is. However it never happened in big city places such as DC and NYC where its rare and where women do not settle for less. Its starting to happen now. I remember reading about a career woman who is a lawyer who has an husband. The career woman also has a kid from an outside relationship. What she liked about her husband is that he can pick up her kid from school for a certain time since her husband as regular 40 hour work week. So their is no need to pay for childcare services. And at the same time she can have dinner at the table when she comes home during after hours. If she married a man of equal caliber, she would have to pay for childcare services, and pay to eat out during the average work week.
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Old 09-18-2016, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Bronx
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If I was a woman that is either born in the Northeastern big cities like DC or NYC, or moved there for a career and looking for an husband. First local women. I would not look for a man that is physically good looking. Lots of physically good looking men cheat. Local women all I know is they want a good looking good man, (that's a needle in an haystack in itself). Good men up in the Northeast cities do not want to put up with women and her offspring from previous relationships. . If I was these women they should move to the South where men are bit more Christian and don't put much of an emphasis on her past compared to the good men who live in the North. For career women, they should simply move to Denver, Phoenix, San Diego, San Jose and such places for a Husband. NYC does not have an abundance of educated career men, and are reluctant to settle due to an abundance of educated women. I remember when I was reading a book, such women did not mind if their boyfriend cheated because the women knew of his value.
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Old 09-18-2016, 05:02 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 8,301,111 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronxguyanese View Post
Of course it is. However it never happened in big city places such as DC and NYC where its rare and where women do not settle for less. Its starting to happen now. I remember reading about a career woman who is a lawyer who has an husband. The career woman also has a kid from an outside relationship. What she liked about her husband is that he can pick up her kid from school for a certain time since her husband as regular 40 hour work week. So their is no need to pay for childcare services. And at the same time she can have dinner at the table when she comes home during after hours. If she married a man of equal caliber, she would have to pay for childcare services, and pay to eat out during the average work week.
Wow, the practicality of that relationship is sending my heart spinning.

I always laugh at the idea of "calibre". That someone is a lawyer or doctor doesn't make them any better than anyone else on the planet. That people actually feed into this tripe always makes me shake my head. And to read things like this thread, where it's actually put forth that "most" people feel this way? Again, a never-ending source of amusement for me.

And to claim that things like this "never happen in NYC"? Even more laughable.

Of course, I could list the many "white collar" people I know in the greater NYC area who have partnered-up with people who would be classified as "blue collar", but that would just spoil this man-bro love fest that's going on.

Keep at it gentlemen. I do need a laugh this afternoon.
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