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Old 09-18-2016, 09:20 PM
 
Location: The Valley Of No Fun
511 posts, read 358,913 times
Reputation: 418

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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76 View Post
When you're a single guy that's 40 in the US...I believe everything he says.
Hey. I'm 39. Let's not use that number until March 11th, 2017... LOL! I can't believe that age is such a big deal here. I'm in decent shape. I don't look or dress like a geezer. I'm with it and not watching '90s reruns or screaming at kids in the yard. There's plenty of ~40 year old celebrities that aren't old hats. Pretty sure my sperm still works. Pretty sure.

Last edited by Mr_Polymath; 09-18-2016 at 09:34 PM..
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Old 09-18-2016, 09:20 PM
 
Location: Bronx
16,217 posts, read 21,305,997 times
Reputation: 8289
Quote:
Originally Posted by bullandre View Post
I think you are doubting the superficial nature of people here and throughout the country. An unattractive, fat-slob, Dunkin Donuts, eating NYPD cop (or city worker) pulling down over $100,000 with his own place CAN and indeed do pretty well here in NYC when it comes to dating.

I personally do not know about all these hard and fast rules that I see you type all over the thread because I can only speak about my experience and the industries that I work directly in. The women I generally interact with wants someone who has their shxt together -- they are not looking for perfection (virtually impossible). This doesn't mean they don't value looks but overtime people become pragmatic. I think as men we are trying way too hard to impress women and then when we fail we posit a lot of nonsense about women.

I must say I do enjoy reading your posts because they are funny as hell and all over the place. I remember reading somewhere that you posted that hanging out in Union Square is the best place to meet a certain kind of woman . Haha, now just imagine me as an hard-working sanitation worker/cop/accountant/plumber or whatever doing what you suggested.


Thank you with the above post.


What hard fast rules? Its just that for women here, some need a spark, connection and chemistry. NYC is a fast pace city, and women do not take their time to get to know someone. The ladies here just dive right into a relationship. This is what I never liked. And I have came across women that said they don't find me physically or sexually attractive. Not all but some said this and it is an important top requirement. As for women having their stuff together? Yes some women do, however these women are broke as hell, and have amounted up soooooooooo much debt in the process. But you are right. As men we try to hard to impress women. Women are very pragmatic at the end of the day. What women truly want is really a hard question to breakdown. First and foremost all women are wired differently. For some women maybe attracted to looks and sex appeal like how men are. Than you have some women who are attracted to personality, smarts, academia. While women maybe attracted to men that provide security, safety or spirituality. This is the reason why I go on dates, I ask women what features do you need to have a connection with a man for attraction. I would ask spirituality, creative, does he have to be good looking/sexual attractive, or personality.
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Old 09-18-2016, 09:23 PM
 
91 posts, read 56,731 times
Reputation: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post
*shrug*

Marriage as a business arrangement. Wonderful.
That's what it was created to be. Above all, marriage is a social contract (just like all friendships and relationships). The concept of love is a fairly new and, if statistics are any indication, not a particularly effective concept.

Quote:
How sad that you feel that way about an entire group of people.
I could understand if someone tells me not to generalize women, but lawyers? Pffft. Certain types of people tend to go into law. They don't tend to be the ethical, law-abiding types (ironically). I work in health care and I've seen many careers of good health care providers ruined by these dirtbags.

Quote:
LOL, lawyers definitely haven't seriously committed to anything.
They have, but that isn't why I dislike them. You can trust a lawyer as far as you can throw them.

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Hmm, let's see. Living on the north shore of Long Island and the Upper West Side of Manhattan accounts for about 25 years of my life. I also worked in Manhattan for several years, and have many friends and family members still there.
We have similar backgrounds, but not similar experiences.

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So, no, your guess is completely wrong. Good try though.
Better to try and fail than never try at all.

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Yup, and I drown puppies on the side.

Jesus.
Wouldn't surprise me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
So, you're saying there's not an abundance of educated men in Silicon Valley? Who's running the place then, women? I hadn't heard that the place had been turned over to women, for lack of educated men.
Touche.

Quote:
OP, the marriage-as-business-arrangement thing was tried for hundreds of years. Dynasties were built on that, kingdoms enlarged, wealth accumulated, heirs produced. It's rarely worked out on the personal front, meaning that it usually results in infidelity and scandal. Is that what you're advocating?
Yes, that's what I'm advocating.

Infidelity is arguably worse than it's ever been. And divorce has been at record highs for decades. I'm not seeing how a "love" marriage is better than a practical marriage. Neither seems to work particularly well. A practical marriage would likely result in me not losing a good portion of my shat in divorce. So I support this method.

[quote=green_mariner;45529117]Not even the hood rats and trailer trash have given me a second look. Of course I don't want them anyway. Too much trouble. Correction, there was a girl who did try to approach me in high school. She was a hood rat, and seemed rather aggressive. I didn't pay her much attention, as I wasn't attracted to her. Years later, a woman at McDonalds was trying to approach me. She was alot younger than me and seemed rather trashy, in terms of her demeanor. Other than that, I don't get approached in public. And I find it ironic. I'm far from a hood rat. I've pretty much bookish. One guy came out and said "you're the whitest black guy I've ever met". I've been compared to Carlton Banks from Fresh Prince of Bel Air many times.

Hood rats are not very difficult to attract overall. And I'm white (though I did grow up in a mostly black school so I can be "ghetto" if needed).

Quote:
Finding a woman that doesn't think in terms of "He's short, I'm not giving him a chance" is hard. It happens, but it's hard to find. What gets me are the women who are around 5'1" who don't want short men. I could understand if said woman was like 5'9" or 5'10". But even women who are 5'1" will say "no one under 5'8". I've seen dating profiles on OKCupid that have said "no shorties"
It's societal-based. They want to increase their social status by having a tall man by their side.

Personally, I do very well with short women. But I have an exceptionally good-looking face (so I'm told). So I think, in some cases, that overcomes my height deficit.

Quote:
I have no interest in dating a hood rat woman. I've seen enough of The Maury Show to know never to date those kind of women. I will ignore a hood rat, flat out. I don't get near them, I don't associate with them. I don't go looking for them. They scare me.
They can be fun for just sex. Personally, I find ghetto girls to be hot on an animalistic level. I would never date one seriously though. Of course, you have to be careful so you don't become Baby Daddy #27.

Quote:
Hood rats are stupid, and they will become like anchors. When you try to catch a wave, a hood rat will hold you down. A hoot rat will mooch off of the welfare system. A hood rat will behave very petulant and in some cases, violent.
I've never had issues with violence from a woman.

Quote:
I've never been to third world countries, but I wouldn't be surprised.

I have heard of some intelligent women being manipulative. With hood rats, I can tell off the bat what they are about. With more intelligent women, I have to look for signs.
Exactly.

Quote:
And many single mothers will call themselves "queens". Many will look at single motherhood as it makes them "strong". Well, many of those single mothers got that way because they were too weak to keep their legs closed, too week to wait for the right kind of man to get married to. In many case, average men will be expected to foot the bill for the children. One way is by manipulation, tell men "you're weak for not dating a woman with children".
LOL well I guess I'm weak then. They can be "strong" on their own (and government) dime.

Quote:
One thing alot of women don't think about is while they my get the other man's "strong" genes, they will get the problem genes. They might inherit that man's stupidity.
They don't care about that. Most only think superficially so they are getting what they want. Look at how many women were throwing themselves at that hot convict guy.

Quote:
Alot of people will speak of the Napoleon complex. Few people will ever think about where that comes from. It comes from having everything stacked against us. It comes from having to deal with being told we don't measure up. We have to work harder to impress more. In the dating world this is especially so. I've been outwardly rejected when I was in high school. In college and in the adult world, height isn't mentioned, but I do sometimes think being short puts me at a disadvantage. I do sometimes think that being in western society can play a role in this.
Aggression is a personality trait that exists in many different people. Only short men are adversely labeled for it though.

And, yes, you are absolutely at a disadvantage. For me, it's strictly been in terms of dating. I've had no career issues due to my height and I currently make very good money.

Quote:
Even some short guys will try to downplay this. Rejecting shorter men might play a part in why there are alot of single women. The men everyone wants will go off the market quickly. Short men aren't wanted all that much.
Truth. And when women hear this, they opine "You're a virgin. You just don't get any girls so you're angry and bitter." This, of course, is wrong. One can do well with women and still acknowledge things for what they are.

I consider myself to be more observant than most. If people are upset about that, then so be it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bullandre View Post
I think you are doubting the superficial nature of people here and throughout the country. An unattractive, fat-slob, Dunkin Donuts, eating NYPD cop (or city worker) pulling down over $100,000 with his own place CAN and indeed do pretty well here in NYC when it comes to dating.
It's possible, but he will need to have an extraordinary personality and charisma (meaning he will need to compensate for the other things). He will likely not do well at all online.

Quote:
I personally do not know about all these hard and fast rules that I see you type all over the thread because I can only speak about my experience and the industries that I work directly in. The women I generally interact with wants someone who has their shxt together -- they are not looking for perfection (virtually impossible). This doesn't mean they don't value looks but overtime people become pragmatic. I think as men we are trying way too hard to impress women and then when we fail we posit a lot of nonsense about women.
There are no "rules", but there certainly are trends. Those are what I am commenting on.

Quote:
I must say I do enjoy reading your posts because they are funny as hell and all over the place. I remember reading somewhere that you posted that hanging out in Union Square is the best place to meet a certain kind of woman . Haha, now just imagine me as an hard-working sanitation worker/cop/accountant/plumber or whatever doing what you suggested.
LOL Union Square is definitely not the best place in NYC to pick up women. Meat Packing District is, hands down.


Quote:
Originally Posted by green_mariner View Post
I don't know how to get around the "short" factor. Can't grow 5 inches.
You can't. You will need to compensate for it.

Quote:
I would never date a 23 year old. Too many maturity issues. I'm not even comfortable with a 25 year old. I prefer at least 27. I could relate to someone of that age better.

40 is a decade away, so I have plenty of time to get rich. At this point, not having kids doesn't bother me. I am more than happy to go overseas. Don't have alot of money or time for that right now.
Good plan. I'm currently working my day job, hitting the gym hard, starting a business, and going out and meeting women. All can be done with good time management.

Quote:
In my case, it took a long time for me to get in a decent position. I was in and out of college before finally getting my degree. I dealt with a long stretch of unemployment after college. I went through alot of hard times, burned some bridges, some people let me down and betrayed me. Now I'm rebuilding my life. I'm employed, I'm in good shape. I still live with my parents (most places close to where I work are either expensive or ghetto), but I'm also helping with the bills. I don't tell most women that I live with my parents.
Probably should move out of your parent's house, but you already know that.

Quote:
I will never go down with a ship. If I can see a ship will sink, I'm not getting on it. I don't have time to deal with women with all kinds of issues like that. I won't hook up with a woman who has made nasty mistakes, such as having a bunch of children out of wedlock. Those aren't mistakes, those are horrible decisions that would sink me if I took that on.
Yeah, it's best to not get involved with that at all.

Quote:
One thing I dealt with in my unemployment issues. I never entertained the idea of dating. I stayed away. I knew the kind of women I would get being unemployed, if I could get a woman at all, would be crap. And I don't need that in my life. I've been in a position where the chips were down.

When I was 18, 19 years old, I sometimes wondered why some women went for the bad boys. The older I got, the less I asked. Practical matters need to be looked at. However, many women do not have the logic to consider that. And that comes with alot of other problems.
Yes, bad boys do way better with women. I completely revamped my personality to fit the "bad boy" mold when I got into college....and I did way better than my "nice guy" high school self.

I've found that you need to be a mix of both as you get older. For a while, I kept my "bad boy" persona, but then women over 25 didn't want to date me because they thought I was too much of an a-hole. So I try to be more on the nice side now (with a little a-hole thrown in).

Quote:
When I was younger, I was thinking that I would get my "one day". As time progressed, I went through periods where I just didn't care anymore. At this point, I'm just trying to make sense of all of the things I went through. I'm left wondering what didn't work for me. I haven't been seeking out women to date. I am a busy man and I haven't seen any women I've wanted to date, especially around my age range (27-32).
Unfortunately, as men (and especially as short men), nothing will be handed to us. We need to make things happen. If you want it, you will have to go out and get it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Polymath View Post
So, my takeaway here is I'm a piece of human filth because I:

1. Live in Phoenix, Arizona
2. Am closing in on 40
3. Am not spectacularly rich
No one is saying this. You can easily pass for under 30. I would recommend getting rid of that god forsaken beard and then going out and meeting women offline.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Stop beating yourself up, and stop tuning in to the wrong channel. You're listening to, and believing, the wrong posters.


Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76 View Post
I heard Phoenix is pretty good for men actually, maybe give it some more time. It's a growing metro with the types of jobs that women flock to and that's what you need as a guy trying to date at 40. I wager it's much much better than the rust belt metros and Marcellus Shale white pickup truck, swinging sausage invasion.
I've only been in the Phoenix metro area for a short time. I'm making a considerable effort to get out there in the upcoming weeks and months. I will let you know how this goes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Have you considered Flagstaff or Santa Fe? Maybe you need to stay in Phx for your job, IDK, but isn't Phoenix pretty conventional, maybe a little old-fashioned/traditional, while you seem like more of a progressive and somewhat unconventional kind of guy? Please correct me if I'm wrong on any of these points, it was just a thought.
Flagstaff has a far smaller population than Phoenix. I can't imagine having more success up there than here. Maybe Tucson would be a bit better for him.

And, yes, Phoenix is more conservative, which is extremely fantastic, I must say.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Polymath View Post
It's not been good for me. I haven't had a date in well over three years, and I'm not getting any younger, so I'm applying elsewhere.

I'm one of these "elusive" educated professionals that just spent three years making rather good money in a white collar corporate HQ, and romance has been proverbial Arizona tumbleweeds. The last time someone was interested in me was just after I moved back here and was unemployed and living with family. ********** backwards place. I'm out.
I haven't found a whole lot of professionals out here either yet. I've heard that it gets better in the winter time so I will let you know.

Also, you may having issues because of the beard, especially with professional women. It makes you look homeless.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ratherbcrazycatlady View Post
It's hard not to believe that you're being too picky!
Scottsdale? If you're not opposed to OLD, widen your search. On POF I have my radius at 100 miles.
Not all of Scottsdale is rich and snooty.

In any event, it looks like that poster lives in Ahwatukee (which is in Phoenix).
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Old 09-18-2016, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,759 posts, read 49,400,928 times
Reputation: 25307
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Polymath View Post
Hey. I'm 39. Let's not use that number until March 11th, 2017... LOL! I can't believe that age is such a big deal here. I'm in decent shape. I don't look or dress like a geezer. I'm with it and not watching '90s reruns or screaming at the kids in the yard. There's plenty of ~40 year old celebrities that aren't old hats. Pretty sure my sperm still works. Pretty sure.
Omg! You are so old!!!! You don't know if it works you haven't had any for 3 yrs.
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Old 09-18-2016, 09:46 PM
 
Location: The Valley Of No Fun
511 posts, read 358,913 times
Reputation: 418
Quote:
I haven't found a whole lot of professionals out here either yet. I've heard that it gets better in the winter time so I will let you know.

Also, you may having issues because of the beard, especially with professional women. It makes you look homeless.
So, only homeless people have beards now (despite them being in fashion and seeing them everywhere... including here in Phoenix)? Okay. Whatever. I see plenty of cute women with guys with beards all the time.

It's a moot point either way, the beard is fairly recent addition. I've been back here for going on four years now, most of which was without any facial hair and dating still sucked.
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Old 09-18-2016, 09:53 PM
 
63,180 posts, read 53,967,836 times
Reputation: 18926
Age is where everything breaks down. Cities like New York, Atlanta,Baltimore, and DC might have far more single women than single men, that can be deceiving. Between 18-35, there is a surplus of single men. From 35 and after the surplus in single women begins for most of these cities. In Atlanta metro, it starts around 30, but not by much. 821 more single women than single men between 30-34. After 35, that number goes up dramatically.

It was suggested that if a man is around 30, going for women in their 20s might be a good thing. That isn't advantageous considering that in most cities, single men outnumber single women from 18-34.
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Old 09-18-2016, 09:57 PM
 
5,721 posts, read 5,331,564 times
Reputation: 4368
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
I don't. I'm 39 and there are tons of great 40 women out there.
We already covered that. Not single ones without a ton of baggage, debt, kids, let themselves go, etc. A lot of the desirable single women at our age have too many options in the US so they think they're a dime that deserve a perfect looking millionaire. Or they're content career women that are dog crazy and just simply don't date at all. Numbers game and age is everything.

Last edited by wanderlust76; 09-18-2016 at 10:06 PM..
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Old 09-18-2016, 10:19 PM
 
91 posts, read 56,731 times
Reputation: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Polymath View Post
So, only homeless people have beards now (despite them being in fashion and seeing them everywhere... including here in Phoenix)? Okay. Whatever. I see plenty of cute women with guys with beards all the time.

It's a moot point either way, the beard is fairly recent addition. I've been back here for going on four years now, most of which was without any facial hair and dating still sucked.
Are they professional women (which I believe you said you wanted)?

Quote:
Originally Posted by green_mariner View Post
Age is where everything breaks down. Cities like New York, Atlanta,Baltimore, and DC might have far more single women than single men, that can be deceiving. Between 18-35, there is a surplus of single men. From 35 and after the surplus in single women begins for most of these cities. In Atlanta metro, it starts around 30, but not by much. 821 more single women than single men between 30-34. After 35, that number goes up dramatically.

It was suggested that if a man is around 30, going for women in their 20s might be a good thing. That isn't advantageous considering that in most cities, single men outnumber single women from 18-34.
Maybe not advantageous from a numbers standpoint, but it's never a bad idea for a man to date younger.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76 View Post
We already covered that. Not single ones without a ton of baggage, debt, kids, let themselves go, etc. A lot of the desirable single women at our age have too many options in the US so they think they're a dime that deserve a perfect looking millionaire. Or they're content career women that are dog crazy and just simply don't date at all. Numbers game and age is everything.
I could totally see this being the case. Of course, I will never know because I will never date that old (even if I'm still single when I am that old).
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Old 09-18-2016, 10:30 PM
 
Location: The Valley Of No Fun
511 posts, read 358,913 times
Reputation: 418
Quote:
Originally Posted by armsman View Post
Are they professional women (which I believe you said you wanted)?
Some are, some aren't... and I'm by no means hellbent on meeting just professional women. Most of my previous girlfriends have not been (and the degreed ones weren't necessarily the smartest or most articulate) . So long as they make a living wage, I don't care. There are far more important factors like outlook, attitude, commonalities, attraction, lifestyle, etc.
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Old 09-18-2016, 10:31 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 8,355,074 times
Reputation: 8130
Quote:
Originally Posted by armsman View Post
I could understand if someone tells me not to generalize women, but lawyers? Pffft. Certain types of people tend to go into law. They don't tend to be the ethical, law-abiding types (ironically). I work in health care and I've seen many careers of good health care providers ruined by these dirtbags.
LMAO- you obviously don't know many lawyers. But good on you for showing your propensity for feeding into mindless stereotypes about a very big group of people. That's a very attractive quality in a person.


Quote:
Originally Posted by armsman View Post
They have, but that isn't why I dislike them. You can trust a lawyer as far as you can throw them.
And you know this because you work in healthcare. Ok then.


Quote:
Originally Posted by armsman View Post
We have similar backgrounds, but not similar experiences.
Apparently.



Quote:
Originally Posted by armsman View Post
Also, you may having issues because of the beard, especially with professional women. It makes you look homeless.
Newsflash: Quite a few professional women like a guy with a beard.

But, you would know that, being a professional woman and all.
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