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Old 09-20-2016, 12:57 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,671 posts, read 10,210,743 times
Reputation: 12484

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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I think because the posters here aren't a snapshot of society. They find their way to this forum because of frustrations, so they're not representative.

Most dudes I know on OLD have no problem getting dates, they're average looking, average height, with average jobs.
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Old 09-20-2016, 01:17 PM
 
Location: NC
151 posts, read 112,128 times
Reputation: 316
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I think because the posters here aren't a snapshot of society. They find their way to this forum because of frustrations, so they're not representative.

Most dudes I know on OLD have no problem getting dates, they're average looking, average height, with average jobs.
(Note that being asexual, I really don't have any dog in this fight and my interest is in a sociological sense.)

I get the feeling that you can make do with "average." Most people are more or less average, after all. But what if you're not, particularly in the two things you listed there that are totally out of someone's control? That's where I think a lot of the frustration comes from.

On the other hand, I also think the whole "American women are X, I'm just going to move to a country where the women are supposedly more compliant" thing is pretty distasteful. And I think there's way too much stock being put in demographic information. We're talking less than 1% differences in most cases. It's not like there are 10 single men for every 5 single women or something ridiculously skewed.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is a subset of people for whom there really won't be great answers. I think having a positive attitude is helpful in life in a non-dating sense, so it's probably a good thing to cultivate anyway. But it's not like being positive and confident is going to totally change everyone's fortunes. The world is way more complex than that.
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Old 09-20-2016, 01:25 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
40,157 posts, read 31,775,824 times
Reputation: 37816
If you're below average in one thing, make up for it in other things (thinking of my former boss who at 5'3" has a smoking hot wife who was taller, he excelled in his career (choice) and was ripped muscular wise and had a great physique (choice)). Or find other people that are also below average. It is a choice. He couldn't change his height.

Positive and confident won't change everything, but its a great first step. And combine that with action. Acting to change what is in our control, well, combine those and you have most of the bases covered.
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Old 09-20-2016, 01:27 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,170 posts, read 7,431,622 times
Reputation: 8390
Quote:
Originally Posted by green_mariner View Post
The dating pool might be larger at age 30, but it isn't that large in general from age 30 onward. I've also noticed this. Some women will chastise men for not wanting to date women with children.
I have been ridiculed for flat out refusing to date a woman who has a kid but I always take a hardline stance. I have been called offensive names but I don't budge at all because it's my life and I will decide who I allow in it. My dating options will diminish but I am ok with that. I do not want kids it's why my engagement ended so I certainly don't want to be with a mother. Some guy sleeps you, she gets pregnant, and I end up raising the kid? Excuse me while I decline that deal I know that makes me sound evil but I ddon't care.
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Old 09-20-2016, 01:28 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 8,355,074 times
Reputation: 8130
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
If you're below average in one thing, make up for it in other things (thinking of my former boss who at 5'3" has a smoking hot wife who was taller, he excelled in his career and was ripped muscular wise). Or find other people that are also below average. It is a choice.
This.

And, for God's sake, actually try to listen to people when they tell you that the "us vs. them" attitude is not going to get you far in the dating world.
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Old 09-20-2016, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,170 posts, read 7,431,622 times
Reputation: 8390
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocky_Raccoon View Post
Well, aside from dating there are other options as well. Have you tried Tinder? It was a revelation for me. I met a 34 year old on it last night. I'm going over to her house in an hour to have lunch and sex. Hopefully she's not a guy. It's almost so easy that I'm having a hard time relating to the guys on this thread who can't at least get a date.
I pretty much went dateless until I was 24 years old so there are men who strike out constantly.
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Old 09-20-2016, 01:32 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
40,157 posts, read 31,775,824 times
Reputation: 37816
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post
This.

And, for God's sake, actually try to listen to people when they tell you that the "us vs. them" attitude is not going to get you far in the dating world.
It's not going to get you far anywhere in life, with perhaps the exception being team sports.
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Old 09-20-2016, 01:33 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,671 posts, read 10,210,743 times
Reputation: 12484
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
If you're below average in one thing, make up for it in other things (thinking of my former boss who at 5'3" has a smoking hot wife who was taller, he excelled in his career (choice) and was ripped muscular wise and had a great physique (choice)). Or find other people that are also below average. It is a choice. He couldn't change his height.

Positive and confident won't change everything, but its a great first step. And combine that with action. Acting to change what is in our control, well, combine those and you have most of the bases covered.
Again


Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post
This.

And, for God's sake, actually try to listen to people when they tell you that the "us vs. them" attitude is not going to get you far in the dating world.
LOL
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Old 09-20-2016, 01:52 PM
 
Location: NC
151 posts, read 112,128 times
Reputation: 316
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
If you're below average in one thing, make up for it in other things (thinking of my former boss who at 5'3" has a smoking hot wife who was taller, he excelled in his career (choice) and was ripped muscular wise and had a great physique (choice)). Or find other people that are also below average. It is a choice. He couldn't change his height.

Positive and confident won't change everything, but its a great first step. And combine that with action. Acting to change what is in our control, well, combine those and you have most of the bases covered.
Oh, I agree wholeheartedly with self-improvement. Hell, I've been messing with my own diet over the past few weeks, and I don't even have anyone to impress! I just get the sense that OLD is not the best place to showcase those changes if your flaws are in the areas that most users immediately gravitate to.

But I do think that working on oneself and one's mindset has to confer some benefit in the real world. I mean, even if the intent were originally around dating, it's not like there's a downside to eating better, being fitter, and having a more positive view of the world, even if it doesn't end up resulting in a relationship.
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Old 09-20-2016, 01:54 PM
 
5,721 posts, read 5,331,564 times
Reputation: 4368
Quote:
Originally Posted by strandedx02 View Post
(Note that being asexual, I really don't have any dog in this fight and my interest is in a sociological sense.)

I get the feeling that you can make do with "average." Most people are more or less average, after all. But what if you're not, particularly in the two things you listed there that are totally out of someone's control? That's where I think a lot of the frustration comes from.

On the other hand, I also think the whole "American women are X, I'm just going to move to a country where the women are supposedly more compliant" thing is pretty distasteful. And I think there's way too much stock being put in demographic information. We're talking less than 1% differences in most cases. It's not like there are 10 single men for every 5 single women or something ridiculously skewed.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is a subset of people for whom there really won't be great answers. I think having a positive attitude is helpful in life in a non-dating sense, so it's probably a good thing to cultivate anyway. But it's not like being positive and confident is going to totally change everyone's fortunes. The world is way more complex than that.
Thread direction veering way off course. However I will never let this go and must correct you no one ever said that and it's off topic anyway. Well maybe one guy sort of said that, but it doesn't matter.

I travel out of the country a good bit and will most likely marry a woman from another country just like 2 guys I grew up with did (One from Asia, and one from South America), but it has absolutely nothing to do with compliance. I have a whole list of reasons why.

Just for starters I feel the US culture is inferior to many others in many ways. US women are pretty much invisible to me at this point after experiencing the differences here at home, and abroad. I was getting pretty serious with a woman from the Philippines but had to put it on hold and slow it down due to career reasons.

It all transfers over into the dating and relationship culture of the US and that culture is pure trash.

Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I think because the posters here aren't a snapshot of society. They find their way to this forum because of frustrations, so they're not representative.

Most dudes I know on OLD have no problem getting dates, they're average looking, average height, with average jobs.
I'm almost 40 and have never married nor do I have kids or any baggage so you're right someone like me isn't a snapshop of society.

Most dudes you know are probably happy with very average women.

Last edited by wanderlust76; 09-20-2016 at 02:09 PM..
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