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I have an acquaintance of mines. He is from San Francisco. He moved to NYC for career purposes. He said San Francisco sucks for getting women. He is short around 5'5. He gets women all the time here in Manhattan. He is not tall, but he is a bit quirky, and he is very good looking in the face. I told him, NYC is good for short men. The height thing is more prevalent in picket fenced suburban America. I have a coworker, who has an adult twenty something son. His son is short, and he too gets plenty of women. However these women these men meet are all short.
I can't speak for others, but I'm from Long Island and spent my first 25 years of life in New York. I did very well in college, but things fell off after that. I frequented the city from ages 22 to 25 and had moderate success, but no better than the amount of success that I had when living in California.
I've only been in Phoenix for a few months and have had, up until the past week or so really, some job and living difficulties. So I haven't even really met any women here yet. But I'd suspect that it will be much of the same that I experienced in California and NYC.
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I'm tall 6'2. Over the years I realized that short women are not attracted to tall, proportioned man that is chubby, so not I right off all women below 5'8. It sucks bending down, and it looks creepy talking into the ear of a short woman.
Yeah, you need to have height AND looks to do well. If you have only one, you may find yourself SOL.
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Originally Posted by Bronxguyanese
Of course it is. However it never happened in big city places such as DC and NYC where its rare and where women do not settle for less. Its starting to happen now. I remember reading about a career woman who is a lawyer who has an husband. The career woman also has a kid from an outside relationship. What she liked about her husband is that he can pick up her kid from school for a certain time since her husband as regular 40 hour work week. So their is no need to pay for childcare services. And at the same time she can have dinner at the table when she comes home during after hours. If she married a man of equal caliber, she would have to pay for childcare services, and pay to eat out during the average work week.
This is true. The women that I know from NYC did not settle for less. The one woman that I know that dated down is actually from the Phoenix area.
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Originally Posted by Bronxguyanese
If I was a woman that is either born in the Northeastern big cities like DC or NYC, or moved there for a career and looking for an husband. First local women. I would not look for a man that is physically good looking. Lots of physically good looking men cheat. Local women all I know is they want a good looking good man, (that's a needle in an haystack in itself). Good men up in the Northeast cities do not want to put up with women and her offspring from previous relationships. . If I was these women they should move to the South where men are bit more Christian and don't put much of an emphasis on her past compared to the good men who live in the North. For career women, they should simply move to Denver, Phoenix, San Diego, San Jose and such places for a Husband. NYC does not have an abundance of educated career men, and are reluctant to settle due to an abundance of educated women. I remember when I was reading a book, such women did not mind if their boyfriend cheated because the women knew of his value.
From what I've seen after living in different areas of the country, there is not an abundance of educated men anywhere, really.
And San Jose is actually an awesome place for men that like Filipina women. I love that place. Those types of women are my preference and they're everywhere.
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Originally Posted by mishigas73
Wow, the practicality of that relationship is sending my heart spinning.
Life is not a romance novel. I wish more people were practical about these things. If they were, many of the threads on this forum concerning relationship difficulties would not exist. Women would not chase men with poor financial histories and there would be less than divorces if people were more practical with their selections.
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I always laugh at the idea of "calibre". That someone is a lawyer or doctor doesn't make them any better than anyone else on the planet. That people actually feed into this tripe always makes me shake my head. And to read things like this thread, where it's actually put forth that "most" people feel this way? Again, a never-ending source of amusement for me.
Personally, I don't like lawyers and wouldn't date a woman that is one. I would feel like she's constantly lying to me. And could you imagine divorcing a lawyer?
As for other professions such as doctors, they have shown a serious commitment to something. To me, that suggests that they can also commit to other things. I would certainly take a doctor more seriously than a Walmart clerk.
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Of course, I could list the many "white collar" people I know in the greater NYC area who have partnered-up with people who would be classified as "blue collar", but that would just spoil this man-bro love fest that's going on.
Do you live in NYC? That poster does. And I did for a long time. I'm guessing that you don't and never did. Am I right?
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Keep at it gentlemen. I do need a laugh this afternoon.
I'm so happy that everything has been so easy for you that you can look down and make snide comments to those that are less fortunate than you. Do you throw rocks at homeless people too?
Life is not a romance novel. I wish more people were practical about these things. If they were, many of the threads on this forum concerning relationship difficulties would not exist. Women would not chase men with poor financial histories and there would be less than divorces if people were more practical with their selections.
*shrug*
Marriage as a business arrangement. Wonderful.
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Originally Posted by armsman
Personally, I don't like lawyers and wouldn't date a woman that is one. I would feel like she's constantly lying to me. And could you imagine divorcing a lawyer?
How sad that you feel that way about an entire group of people.
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Originally Posted by armsman
As for other professions such as doctors, they have shown a serious commitment to something. To me, that suggests that they can also commit to other things. I would certainly take a doctor more seriously than a Walmart clerk.
LOL, lawyers definitely haven't seriously committed to anything.
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Originally Posted by armsman
Do you live in NYC? That poster does. And I did for a long time. I'm guessing that you don't and never did. Am I right?
Hmm, let's see. Living on the north shore of Long Island and the Upper West Side of Manhattan accounts for about 25 years of my life. I also worked in Manhattan for several years, and have many friends and family members still there.
So, no, your guess is completely wrong. Good try though.
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Originally Posted by armsman
I'm so happy that everything has been so easy for you that you can look down and make snide comments to those that are less fortunate than you. Do you throw rocks at homeless people too?
From what I've seen after living in different areas of the country, there is not an abundance of educated men anywhere, really.
And San Jose is actually an awesome place for men that like Filipina women. I love that place. Those types of women are my preference and they're everywhere.
Life is not a romance novel. I wish more people were practical about these things. If they were, many of the threads on this forum concerning relationship difficulties would not exist. Women would not chase men with poor financial histories and there would be less than divorces if people were more practical with their selections.
So, you're saying there's not an abundance of educated men in Silicon Valley? Who's running the place then, women? I hadn't heard that the place had been turned over to women, for lack of educated men.
OP, the marriage-as-business-arrangement thing was tried for hundreds of years. Dynasties were built on that, kingdoms enlarged, wealth accumulated, heirs produced. It's rarely worked out on the personal front, meaning that it usually results in infidelity and scandal. Is that what you're advocating?
I understand that you can't help it, but also understand that this does not matter to women. They will not look at you and say "Wow, he's cute and nice and has a good job. I'm attracted to him. He's short, but that's not his fault so I will give him a chance". Most women don't think this way. Either you have it or you don't and everything else is irrelevant.
Not even the hood rats and trailer trash have given me a second look. Of course I don't want them anyway. Too much trouble. Correction, there was a girl who did try to approach me in high school. She was a hood rat, and seemed rather aggressive. I didn't pay her much attention, as I wasn't attracted to her. Years later, a woman at McDonalds was trying to approach me. She was alot younger than me and seemed rather trashy, in terms of her demeanor. Other than that, I don't get approached in public. And I find it ironic. I'm far from a hood rat. I've pretty much bookish. One guy came out and said "you're the whitest black guy I've ever met". I've been compared to Carlton Banks from Fresh Prince of Bel Air many times.
Finding a woman that doesn't think in terms of "He's short, I'm not giving him a chance" is hard. It happens, but it's hard to find. What gets me are the women who are around 5'1" who don't want short men. I could understand if said woman was like 5'9" or 5'10". But even women who are 5'1" will say "no one under 5'8". I've seen dating profiles on OKCupid that have said "no shorties"
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The thing is hood rat women tend to be on the stupid side. I have encountered many of them. They will try to manipulate you, but, if you are smart, you will easily be able to see their manipulation tactics, as they will be obvious. This is something that I've noticed with some women in third world countries as well.
More intelligent women can also be better manipulators. Keep that in mind.
I have no interest in dating a hood rat woman. I've seen enough of The Maury Show to know never to date those kind of women. I will ignore a hood rat, flat out. I don't get near them, I don't associate with them. I don't go looking for them. They scare me.
Hood rats are stupid, and they will become like anchors. When you try to catch a wave, a hood rat will hold you down. A hoot rat will mooch off of the welfare system. A hood rat will behave very petulant and in some cases, violent.
I've never been to third world countries, but I wouldn't be surprised.
I have heard of some intelligent women being manipulative. With hood rats, I can tell off the bat what they are about. With more intelligent women, I have to look for signs.
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Unfortunately, single motherhood is accepted and embraced by our current society. This does not bode well for average and unattractive men since women can either have babies with good-looking men or give their kids superior genetics through sperm donation and then either live off of the government or become career women.
As usual, we are at a disadvantage here as men, as we really cannot do the same thing without a lot of money.
And many single mothers will call themselves "queens". Many will look at single motherhood as it makes them "strong". Well, many of those single mothers got that way because they were too weak to keep their legs closed, too week to wait for the right kind of man to get married to. In many case, average men will be expected to foot the bill for the children. One way is by manipulation, tell men "you're weak for not dating a woman with children".
One thing alot of women don't think about is while they my get the other man's "strong" genes, they will get the problem genes. They might inherit that man's stupidity.
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Your height is most definitely a factor in women not approaching you. I'm also short. I have never been rejected outwardly for my height (by tall women or otherwise), but I'm sure it's happened multiple times without me knowing. In fact, I suspect that it's the primary reason that I'm ever rejected and that I've had to work harder than most men for the same thing.
In general, in western society, short men are discriminated against in dating and we will have to work harder to get and keep women.
Alot of people will speak of the Napoleon complex. Few people will ever think about where that comes from. It comes from having everything stacked against us. It comes from having to deal with being told we don't measure up. We have to work harder to impress more. In the dating world this is especially so. I've been outwardly rejected when I was in high school. In college and in the adult world, height isn't mentioned, but I do sometimes think being short puts me at a disadvantage. I do sometimes think that being in western society can play a role in this.
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Yup. I'm sure we'll get a timeout on this forum for even discussing it. It's a form of censorship.
Most people will say something like "It's not really happening. I know this one short guy that never had any problem with anything ever (that I ever saw). So you probably don't have a problem." or "Life isn't fair. Deal with it."
Yeah, easy for them to say.
Even some short guys will try to downplay this. Rejecting shorter men might play a part in why there are alot of single women. The men everyone wants will go off the market quickly. Short men aren't wanted all that much.
Wrong. If a man is not physically attractive, sexually attractive, or does not have a career or educated. A good chance he will be single. Plenty of women in the northeast are very picky, local types to Transplant types. In order for me to get a girlfriend, I had to loose weight and fix my teeth. And now I have a girlfriend. My dentist said it better himself. A city like buffalo I would be a good catch with women. But in NYC, attraction is the most important for women. A Wiseman told me, what LA and Miami is for men, NYC is thr exact opposite for women. I have to agree with him.
I think you are doubting the superficial nature of people here and throughout the country. An unattractive, fat-slob, Dunkin Donuts, eating NYPD cop (or city worker) pulling down over $100,000 with his own place CAN and indeed do pretty well here in NYC when it comes to dating.
I personally do not know about all these hard and fast rules that I see you type all over the thread because I can only speak about my experience and the industries that I work directly in. The women I generally interact with wants someone who has their shxt together -- they are not looking for perfection (virtually impossible). This doesn't mean they don't value looks but overtime people become pragmatic. I think as men we are trying way too hard to impress women and then when we fail we posit a lot of nonsense about women.
I must say I do enjoy reading your posts because they are funny as hell and all over the place. I remember reading somewhere that you posted that hanging out in Union Square is the best place to meet a certain kind of woman . Haha, now just imagine me as an hard-working sanitation worker/cop/accountant/plumber or whatever doing what you suggested.
Agreed to a degree. Again, that poster will struggle regardless due to physical issues discussed previously.
Also, I would recommend not going below 25 (23 at the absolute minimum), for the most part. Anyone lower will have ridiculous looks requirements and an unrealistic view of the world.
Yup. Once you hit 40 or so, you either better be rich, be okay with dating women your age (and, therefore, not having children), or be willing to go overseas.
100% correct. I'm sure you had to struggle to establish yourself with the odds stacked against you. I'm established at age 29. Sure, some people helped me. Most people kicked me when I was down. These women likely cruised through life and made many bad decisions along the way. Those decisions have caught up to them. If you want to hook up with them, that's fine, but don't go down with the ship, captain.
In the end, it's a cold world. Women (in a dating sense) will not care about you when you are down. So you should not care about them when they are down (unless they are friends or family...or someone you are already dating that has proven themselves).
This is because many women focus solely on looks or how the guy makes them feel. Most do not focus on practical matters until it's too late.
I don't know how to get around the "short" factor. Can't grow 5 inches.
I would never date a 23 year old. Too many maturity issues. I'm not even comfortable with a 25 year old. I prefer at least 27. I could relate to someone of that age better.
40 is a decade away, so I have plenty of time to get rich. At this point, not having kids doesn't bother me. I am more than happy to go overseas. Don't have alot of money or time for that right now.
In my case, it took a long time for me to get in a decent position. I was in and out of college before finally getting my degree. I dealt with a long stretch of unemployment after college. I went through alot of hard times, burned some bridges, some people let me down and betrayed me. Now I'm rebuilding my life. I'm employed, I'm in good shape. I still live with my parents (most places close to where I work are either expensive or ghetto), but I'm also helping with the bills. I don't tell most women that I live with my parents.
I will never go down with a ship. If I can see a ship will sink, I'm not getting on it. I don't have time to deal with women with all kinds of issues like that. I won't hook up with a woman who has made nasty mistakes, such as having a bunch of children out of wedlock. Those aren't mistakes, those are horrible decisions that would sink me if I took that on.
One thing I dealt with in my unemployment issues. I never entertained the idea of dating. I stayed away. I knew the kind of women I would get being unemployed, if I could get a woman at all, would be crap. And I don't need that in my life. I've been in a position where the chips were down.
When I was 18, 19 years old, I sometimes wondered why some women went for the bad boys. The older I got, the less I asked. Practical matters need to be looked at. However, many women do not have the logic to consider that. And that comes with alot of other problems.
When I was younger, I was thinking that I would get my "one day". As time progressed, I went through periods where I just didn't care anymore. At this point, I'm just trying to make sense of all of the things I went through. I'm left wondering what didn't work for me. I haven't been seeking out women to date. I am a busy man and I haven't seen any women I've wanted to date, especially around my age range (27-32).
So, my takeaway here is I'm a piece of human filth because I:
1. Live in Phoenix, Arizona
2. Am closing in on 40
3. Am not spectacularly rich
I heard Phoenix is pretty good for men actually, maybe give it some more time. It's a growing metro with the types of jobs that women flock to and that's what you need as a guy trying to date at 40. I wager it's much much better than the rust belt metros and Marcellus Shale white pickup truck, swinging sausage invasion.
Last edited by wanderlust76; 09-18-2016 at 07:28 PM..
So, my takeaway here is I'm a piece of human filth because I:
1. Live in Phoenix, Arizona
2. Am closing in on 40
3. Am not spectacularly rich
Have you considered Flagstaff or Santa Fe? Maybe you need to stay in Phx for your job, IDK, but isn't Phoenix pretty conventional, maybe a little old-fashioned/traditional, while you seem like more of a progressive and somewhat unconventional kind of guy? Please correct me if I'm wrong on any of these points, it was just a thought.
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