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I cannot stand this new trend of taking breaks from relationships. Maybe it's not a new trend and I'm just out of touch. Whatever the case, I have no respect for these people who do this. If you want to break up, then break up. But taking a break seems pretty lame. It's like you're walking out, but you've left your foot in the door in case you want to come back. Or you're afraid of going through the ugly and often painful process of breaking up. Taking a break allows you to avoid that, I suppose. If my partner wanted to take a break, my response would be, "Sure, but don't assume I'll be here when you get back." And if they did come back, my response would be, "So you didn't find anything better and now you're running back to me? No thanks."
What do you think of people who take breaks? What do you think it says about them and their attitudes toward relationships? Have you ever taken a break from someone or had them take a break from you and if so, did the relationship ever recover?
Individuals need their own time, and their own space. I don't understand what is controversial about that.
It doesn't mean that one person will necessarily look to date new people, but I suppose you oughta cross that bridge when you come to it.
You can find your own time and your own space even within a relationship, if your partner gives you that space. The problem with taking breaks is that it presumes that person will still be there for you when you're ready to return. In other words, you take them for granted.
I am a habitual break-taker. I have a really hard time getting - and staying - really close to someone. Sometimes,I just need a break. It's not that I am going out looking for something else - I don't date other people during - I just need time knowing that I am not the center of someone else's world and all of my decisions are made on my behalf, not someone elses.
If you don't want someone taking a break on you, then tell them that. Don't go around getting angry and judgemental about those who do.
But not everyone is smart enough to do that; occasionally desperate times call for desperate measures.
Taking a break seems like a last resort. If your partner is not giving you the space you require, then you need to say so. And if they're still not giving you the space you need, then you need to pull back. But it's one thing to cut back on the amount of time you spend with a partner. It's an entirely different thing to say you don't want to not spend any time with that person so you can go figure things out.
Tough call, if they spend the time alone then its probably all right. If you get bored or the relationship didnt have the spark it did at the beginning, and you want to see others then no.
My wife did the whole "Take a Break" thing. I called it a separation. It lasted 16 months where I had to live in my parent's basement, continue to pay the bills @ home, and give her "space". When she realized there were no other "prospects" she decided to work things out (I say she because I never wanted the separation), and thus handle the situation like adults do when the marriage goes through a rough patch.
My wife did the whole "Take a Break" thing. I called it a separation. It lasted 16 months where I had to live in my parent's basement, continue to pay the bills @ home, and give her "space". When she realized there were no other "prospects" she decided to work things out (I say she because I never wanted the separation), and thus handle the situation like adults do when the marriage goes through a rough patch.
I appreciate you sharing this. Did it bother you, though, that she came back to you when she realized there were no other prospects? It's not exactly flattering.
It ticked me off to no end. Part of the reason I had to play along is because of my job. I have a job that that can stick its nose in your personal life, and even though what goes on behind the closed doors of my home have not a DAMN thing to do with my ability to perform my job I (was gently advised to) play along. So when my wife agreed to work out our differences I had to let the obvious anger go, and concentrate on what it was that got us to that point in the first place. Now we are in a much better place although we still have a ways to go before I consider us back on track.
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